"Judgement"

[Judge]

I think you've summarized a lot of truths with this. Also, in my own experience a lot of people will say, "I'm not judging" because they want more information for the personal satisfaction of hearing more about what they feel is a controversial or judgment-worthy. So "I'm not judging" is often a reliable clue that someone is.

From what I've noticed, "I'm not judging" came into common usage in the recent era of political correctness. People who really aren't judging shouldn't have to say anything at all. There are a million other ways to demonstrate by expression or body language that a person is open and objective. I'll tell people I don't judge if I'm having a conversation about judgment. Otherwise, I normally just assume people who know me are aware that I try very hard not to engage in the practice. I don't feel any compulsion to announce it.

How true.

I always thought Jerry Seinfeld made that dynamic famous when he said, "Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

 

[Slithytoves]

You can't make a decision based on information without judging.

I read this yesterday and knew I had a response, but the train left the station before I could type it out. Luckily my thoughts are only kiddie trains, so it looped back around pretty quickly.

The way I look at it, there is objective qualitative and quantitative judgment, and then there's value judgment which is by definition subjective. A person can make decisions based on the first two, critical varieties, but without the third. When we're talking about decision-making in a social context, it takes more discipline but it can be done.

Even in a very personal situation, we can choose to focus solely on identifying (quantitative) and understanding (qualitative), and refrain from passing information through the personal filters that would engender a value judgment.

I guess what it comes down to is how we choose to negotiate our individual realities. I've had better luck keeping myself, aka My Self, out of most decisions than I have by injecting myself into the middle of them. It keeps life so much clearer and tidier that way!

 

[DogwoodTree]

Actually, I think it started with this passage in the Bible:

1“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:1-5

The modern Christian interpretation of the passage is that you shouldn't condemn anyone else, which has morphed into not condemning anyone else's actions, either, and then on into political correctness and a whole host of other systems, some beneficial and some not so much. But there's a difference between condemnation and discernment. To condemn a person as being evil because they do something you disagree with is dangerous, especially if you don't live a life focused on your own personal growth. But to discern that some actions are destructive and harmful as opposed to more constructive, functional behavior, is actually commanded by the Bible:

Who is wise? Let them realize these things.
Who is discerning? Let them understand.
The ways of the Lord are right;
the righteous walk in them,
but the rebellious stumble in them.
Hosea 14:9

So to me, in response to the OP, "don't judge" refers to the biblical instruction not to condemn others...to realize that we're all messed up in various ways, and we all need each other, and none of us is more "deserving" of love than anyone else. But that doesn't preclude, and in fact necessitates, discerning of functional vs. dysfunctional, good vs. evil, constructive vs. destructive behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, priorities, and relationships.

IMO, "judgement" is too ambiguous. I differentiate between "condemnation" (which I believe is solely God's domain) and "discernment" (which I believe is necessary for living a healthy, productive life).