• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Is life for Aspies actually getting harder now than it was in the past?

Status
Not open for further replies.
@Nitro does this quote below sound like someone who thinks “I’m a failure because I’m Aspie?” I’ve tried pretending Aspergers isn’t part of who I am, it doesn’t work; Aspergers is part of who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it.
Yes, that is what I interpreted your post as:
"is life actually getting harder for us Aspies?? It seems like the majority of older Aspies and autistic folk on here are married and have a family and job and such, while a lot of younger Aspies on here, myself included, are often struggling to attain the above, and often have a lot issues to deal with that hinder us from getting there"

I was very successful in my career choices because I presented myself as knowledgeable in my chosen fields.
I was raised in a family run machineshop and ran equipment there at a very early age.
We were also taught to weld at very young ages.
As a side interest, I was taught the ways of vehicle performance modifications to increase their power output and reliability.
Early on, I combined the front and rear halves of two vehicles to in effect triple the power output of the base model I began with.
I utilized my machining skills, my metal fabrication skills, design work borrowed from exposure to steel tube fabric covered airframes and my knowledge of performance vehicles to apply it to my work
Oh, and I should probably mention that I was only 14 at the time.
After highschool, I left the family business to explore my other options and landed in the tech sector where I made machined parts for quadrupole mass spectrometers.We did complete units, from the ultra-high vacuum chambering down to the full array of supporting electronics.In their fab shop area, I applied my gas welding skills I learned as a teenager to transition to TIG welding on our assemblies. After a year in their machining facility, I was recruited to work in their class 10 cleanroom to do probe assembly and testing. I also assisted their mechanical engineering staff with design work directly related to our end product. I was only about 21 when I was handed the supervisory position of my department and given a staff of four employees to oversee.
I owe all of that to what I brought to their table from what I learned as a child.
After my stint there, at about age 24, a former supervisor at the 'nuke's machining facility called me and asked me if I wanted to do a startup on a new machineshop where we built specialty sublimation equipment used in vacuum chambers we built to allow prototyping work in the semiconductor industry.
I was given very little to work with, but based on what I brought to their table, that outfit now has a state of the art CNC machining and fab business providing items on a global networking scale.
Four years later, I was recruited from there to work in lower management for the next firm.
Money always talks if you listen to it and like what you hear, so I generally followed the money while getting to put my special interests to work.
When it was all said and done, I had made it to the highest levels of management based on applying what this autie learned as a child.
Just like most auties, I was never really good at the relationship game, but did my best to mimic what I observed others doing to get who they wanted.
A lot of hit and miss to that game, but not necessarily tied to my neurology either, so I'll rule that out.
I finally thought I found the right girl and proposed.
I will never say I got good at it, but I did finally end up married, so something must have been acceptable about my approach.
My career was ended at age 50 the night I was involved in a very traumatic motorcycle accident that placed me on the sidelines of the corporate world forever.
I still have a finger on the pulse of the business world, but mainly out of fascination for something that gave me so much to look forward to.
Starting off at ground zero again, after relearning how to walk talk and read, at about age 54, it was discovered that in addition to my brain injury, I was also on the spectrum.
I lived 54 years under the cloak of autism knowing next to nothing about it, and look at me now, trying to make yet another run at a world of uncertainty.
I won't ever view my differing neurology to be a deciding factor of what I can't accomplish because of what it has proven that it can.

My point being that if you apply something you know about to something you want to achieve, it will generally put you where you want to be unless your skill levels are not up to par with the needs of your employers, then it is back to the drawing board again to find out what works better.

I still honestly believe that perseverance is the key, and that as an individual, the sky is the limit unless you are the one that is holding you back.

This easier for older aspie question shows me signs of you trying to find a reason for why you think younger aspies haven't gained what you consider the instant gratification the older generations never really had.
Trust me, we worked for it on all fronts ;)
 
Last edited:
Yes, that is what I interpreted your post as:
"is life actually getting harder for us Aspies?? It seems like the majority of older Aspies and autistic folk on here are married and have a family and job and such, while a lot of younger Aspies on here, myself included, are often struggling to attain the above, and often have a lot issues to deal with that hinder us from getting there"

I was very successful in my career choices because I presented myself as knowledgeable in my chosen fields.
I was raised in a family run machineshop and ran equipment there at a very early age.
We were also taught to weld at very young ages.
As a side interest, I was taught the ways of vehicle performance modifications to increase their power output and reliability.
Early on, I combined the front and rear halves of two vehicles to in effect triple the power output of the base model I began with.
I utilized my machining skills, my metal fabrication skills, design work borrowed from exposure to steel tube fabric covered airframes and my knowledge of performance vehicles to apply it to my work
Oh, and I should probably mention that I was only 14 at the time.
After highschool, I left the family business to explore my other options and landed in the tech sector where I made machined parts for quadrupole mass spectrometers.We did complete units, from the ultra-high vacuum chambering down to the full array of supporting electronics.In their fab shop area, I applied my gas welding skills I learned as a teenager to transition to TIG welding on our assemblies. After a year in their machining facility, I was recruited to work in their class 10 cleanroom to do probe assembly and testing. I also assisted their mechanical engineering staff with design work directly related to our end product. I was only about 21 when I was handed the supervisory position of my department and given a staff of four employees to oversee.
I owe all of that to what I brought to their table from what I learned as a child.
After my stint there, at about age 24, a former supervisor at the 'nuke's machining facility called me and asked me if I wanted to do a startup on a new machineshop where we built specialty sublimation equipment used in vacuum chambers we built to allow prototyping work in the semiconductor industry.
I was given very little to work with, but based on what I brought to their table, that outfit now has a state of the art CNC machining and fab business providing items on a global networking scale.
Four years later years later, I was recruited from there to work in lower management for the next firm.
Money always talks if you listen to it and like what you hear, so I generally followed the money while getting to put my special interests to work.
When it was all said and done, I had made it to the highest levels of management based on applying what this autie learned as a child.
Just like most auties, I was never really good at the relationship game, but did my best to mimic what I observed others doing to get who they wanted.
A lot of hit and miss to that game, but not necessarily tied to my neurology either, so I'll rule that out.
I finally thought I found the right girl and proposed.
I will never say I got good at it, but I did finally end up married, so something must have been acceptable about my approach.
My career was ended at age 50 the night I was involved in a very traumatic motorcycle accident that placed me on the sidelines of the corporate world forever.
I still have a finger on the pulse of the business world, but mainly out of fascination for something that gave me so much to look forward to.
Starting off at ground zero again, after relearning how to walk talk and read, at about age 54, it was discovered that in addition to my brain injury, I was also on the spectrum.
I lived 54 years under the cloak of autism knowing next to nothing about it, and look at me now, trying to make yet another run at a world of uncertainty.
I won't ever view my differing neurology to be a deciding factor of what I can't accomplish because of what it has proven that it can.

My point being that if you apply something you know about to something you want to achieve, it will generally put you where you want to be unless your skill levels are not up to par with the needs of your employers, then it is back to the drawing board again to find out what works better.

I still honestly believe that perseverance is the key, and that as an individual, the sky is the limit unless you are the one that is holding you back.

This easier for older aspie question shows me signs of you trying to find a reason for why you think younger aspies haven't gained what you consider the instant gratification the older generations never really had.
Trust me, we worked for it on all fronts ;)
I wonder how much of what you were able to achieve was also because of talents and abilities nurtured at home, as you say that you attained these working in a family business. I think maybe we shouldn't also discount opportunities available at an early age. I worked in our family business from a young age as well. Also a lot of my culture stresses a lot of discipline and hard work at home (I was barely allowed to do anything else) which can also provide a good foundation to start from.
 
I wonder how much of what you were able to achieve was also because of talents and abilities nurtured at home, as you say that you attained these working in a family business. I think maybe we shouldn't also discount opportunities available at an early age. I worked in our family business from a young age as well. Also a lot of my culture stresses a lot of discipline and hard work at home (I was barely allowed to do anything else) which can also provide a good foundation to start from.
My point has always been that your mentors on any level are often the keys to success.
 
Yes, that is what I interpreted your post as:
"is life actually getting harder for us Aspies?? It seems like the majority of older Aspies and autistic folk on here are married and have a family and job and such, while a lot of younger Aspies on here, myself included, are often struggling to attain the above, and often have a lot issues to deal with that hinder us from getting there"

I was very successful in my career choices because I presented myself as knowledgeable in my chosen fields.
I was raised in a family run machineshop and ran equipment there at a very early age.
We were also taught to weld at very young ages.
As a side interest, I was taught the ways of vehicle performance modifications to increase their power output and reliability.
Early on, I combined the front and rear halves of two vehicles to in effect triple the power output of the base model I began with.
I utilized my machining skills, my metal fabrication skills, design work borrowed from exposure to steel tube fabric covered airframes and my knowledge of performance vehicles to apply it to my work
Oh, and I should probably mention that I was only 14 at the time.
After highschool, I left the family business to explore my other options and landed in the tech sector where I made machined parts for quadrupole mass spectrometers.We did complete units, from the ultra-high vacuum chambering down to the full array of supporting electronics.In their fab shop area, I applied my gas welding skills I learned as a teenager to transition to TIG welding on our assemblies. After a year in their machining facility, I was recruited to work in their class 10 cleanroom to do probe assembly and testing. I also assisted their mechanical engineering staff with design work directly related to our end product. I was only about 21 when I was handed the supervisory position of my department and given a staff of four employees to oversee.
I owe all of that to what I brought to their table from what I learned as a child.
After my stint there, at about age 24, a former supervisor at the 'nuke's machining facility called me and asked me if I wanted to do a startup on a new machineshop where we built specialty sublimation equipment used in vacuum chambers we built to allow prototyping work in the semiconductor industry.
I was given very little to work with, but based on what I brought to their table, that outfit now has a state of the art CNC machining and fab business providing items on a global networking scale.
Four years later, I was recruited from there to work in lower management for the next firm.
Money always talks if you listen to it and like what you hear, so I generally followed the money while getting to put my special interests to work.
When it was all said and done, I had made it to the highest levels of management based on applying what this autie learned as a child.
Just like most auties, I was never really good at the relationship game, but did my best to mimic what I observed others doing to get who they wanted.
A lot of hit and miss to that game, but not necessarily tied to my neurology either, so I'll rule that out.
I finally thought I found the right girl and proposed.
I will never say I got good at it, but I did finally end up married, so something must have been acceptable about my approach.
My career was ended at age 50 the night I was involved in a very traumatic motorcycle accident that placed me on the sidelines of the corporate world forever.
I still have a finger on the pulse of the business world, but mainly out of fascination for something that gave me so much to look forward to.
Starting off at ground zero again, after relearning how to walk talk and read, at about age 54, it was discovered that in addition to my brain injury, I was also on the spectrum.
I lived 54 years under the cloak of autism knowing next to nothing about it, and look at me now, trying to make yet another run at a world of uncertainty.
I won't ever view my differing neurology to be a deciding factor of what I can't accomplish because of what it has proven that it can.

My point being that if you apply something you know about to something you want to achieve, it will generally put you where you want to be unless your skill levels are not up to par with the needs of your employers, then it is back to the drawing board again to find out what works better.

I still honestly believe that perseverance is the key, and that as an individual, the sky is the limit unless you are the one that is holding you back.

This easier for older aspie question shows me signs of you trying to find a reason for why you think younger aspies haven't gained what you consider the instant gratification the older generations never really had.
Trust me, we worked for it on all fronts ;)
Well, you’re wrong. You’re wrong about me thinking I’m a failure as an Aspie, you’re wrong about the part of my original post that you quoted there, you’re wrong about me thinking older Aspies get “instant gratification,” (there is so much I could say about that, obscene judgement, both in my personal life and the lives of Aspies in society in general; but I won’t open that can of worms) and you’re wrong in your general assumption that I’m complaining about my state in life, (do you hear that @Thinx ?) I mean did say that before on here, but you seem to act as though you didn’t read it; although I did say a lot of things in my original post that both you, and a lot of other people failed to see in there.
 
Well, you’re wrong. You’re wrong about me thinking I’m a failure as an Aspie, you’re wrong about the part of my original post that you quoted there, you’re wrong about me thinking older Aspies get “instant gratification,” (there is so much I could say about that, obscene judgement, both in my personal life and the lives of Aspies in society in general; but I won’t open that can of worms) and you’re wrong in your general assumption that I’m complaining about my state in life, (do you hear that @Thinx ?) I mean did say that before on here, but you seem to act as though you didn’t read it; although I did say a lot of things in my original post that both you, and a lot of other people failed to see in there.
Ok, I'll accept that.
You are right, and I am wrong.
You have a wonderful life, ok?
 
Ok, I'll accept that.
You are right, and I am wrong.
You have a wonderful life, ok?
I just wanted information because I’m deeply concerned about things I’ve been hearing and seeing lately. Yes, I’m worried about not finding my future wife yet, yes I have wasted a lot of my earlier adult life not trying to be a responsible adult; but that’s not what this thread is about.

I know I have to do, and I’m going to work hard at it. I promise.
 
I am simply confused by trying to work out your points here, you chose to set up a comparison, and when people give what they feel are relevant responses you seem rather sensitive. However, maybe try to start with the basics, get a job of some kind, do some relevant study, and move on from there.
 
This has been a great discussion with many angles and I read all of the posts.
At age 64, I agree it isn't easier or harder, just very different.

For those of us with the so-called milder forms of autism,...it literally wasn't a diagnosis,...we just adapted and overcame as best we could,...or got lost in society,...or committed suicide way too early in life.

I most certainly agree with that quote.
With no idea why we were so different, excluded or being just labeled shy, crazy, off, and bullied
because of it, this IS the way we survived or didn't.

I wasn't diagnosed until in my 50's and lived a life of thinking I was surely these things because
everyone said so.

The only thing that made me feel better about myself was when I was diagnosed and started
learning about it. Then I realized I wasn't those labels.
I think more are being diagnosed today than in my younger years, so maybe they will understand
themselves more, even if others still don't.

As far as accomplishing whatever you want, there are going to be limitations that isn't just you holding yourself back.
Some more difficult than others.
If someone is born with a condition where they can never walk and confined to a wheel chair,
it isn't realistic to think they can become a world class skier, skater and a lot of other things.
Same with aspergers/autism.
I took the hand I was dealt and did the best I could.
That's all any of us can do.
 
@Greatshield17
"Yes, I’m worried about not finding my future wife yet, yes I have wasted a lot of my earlier adult life not trying to be a responsible adult; but that’s not what this thread is about."

When you have time, possibly you could explain
what you did intend the thread to be about.

"I just wanted information because I’m deeply concerned about things I’ve been hearing and seeing lately."

What things?
 
I am simply confused by trying to work out your points here, you chose to set up a comparison, and when people give what they feel are relevant responses you seem rather sensitive.
People accused me of whining, and of saying things I never said in my original post. Are such responses really necessary?
 
@Greatshield17
I don’t think you intended to open a bag of worms.
Mostly it is that your OP questions were ambiguous, so at least for me, responding becomes a matter of a subjective “taking a try”
at aiming toward your query.
 
One thing that would help us, is for NTs to see Aspies happily married with families and jobs and the like. (I’m not say that every Aspie must be married with kids and the like, please read this part carefully before responding) On the other hand, if NTs see that the ills of this age are harming us too, and that in fact we were both, still quite present and better-off before the ills of this current age; that would undermine their belief that we are somehow, some kind of spirit or phantasm of this current age

?

I’m now leaving this entirely alone for others to deal with as they see fit
 
@Greatshield17

"...if NTs see that the ills of this age are harming us too, and that in fact we were both, still quite present and better-off before the ills of this current age; that would undermine their belief that we are somehow, some kind of spirit or phantasm of this current age."

So, you're saying that you want it known that ASD individuals
are human beings? And that things were better in some unspecified
past era?
 
@Greatshield17

"...if NTs see that the ills of this age are harming us too, and that in fact we were both, still quite present and better-off before the ills of this current age; that would undermine their belief that we are somehow, some kind of spirit or phantasm of this current age."

So, you're saying that you want it known that ASD individuals
are human beings? And that things were better in some unspecified
past era?
I’m saying that I’m worried that discrimination against us might be much worse in the future, and I want to do things and gather information to prevent that from happening. Is that simple enough for everyone to understand?
 
What sorts of things and information do you figure will
prevent increased discrimination from taking place
in the future?
 
I’m going to take a break from this site, I’m starting to get genuinely mad at a couple of people on here. And while I am making genuine progress with my website, I need to focus more on it, which again is hard because I’m getting mad.
 
I get 'known' for being that weird guy who lives like it's the turn of the 20th century.

There's a reason for that, other than the Edwardian era up through WWII being my special interest. I think that society is disabling us.

Let's get started:

Aspies frequently experience dysphoria, typically the gender one but I will use that term to describe other aspects fo the human condition as well--I am using it to mean "dissatisfaction with certain aspect of the present." So I can understand why many Aspies feel like life is getting harder and harder.

Another thing. I find that societal norms are breaking down. Contrary to expectations this is NOT making it easier for Aspies. Instead, since norms are breaking up, then we have harder and harder times figuring out what we're supposed to do or what is expected of us. I know people with unconventional sense of style may feel liberated by this but honestly if society is kind it will be no problem for someone to look a bit odd. The rules broke down for the wrong reasons.

Another thing. The hypersexuality of Boomer culture caused problems. I think this is why Aspies are 33% or so of the LGBTQIA population. Also, the plethora of new labels describing this is fascinating but potentially problematic. I don't necessarily "identify" as anything but the label of demiromantic Asexual is a pretty good description of me. So I suppose I could say I'm "ace," and of course there is nothing wrong with being Ace as long as you acknowledge that kids are a lovely way to start people. But back in the old days, it was easier--I wouldn't have to worry about a label. I have already had people mocking me for this life; that will never change for the eternal Fool is an omnipresent part of the human drama. It just would be simpler to pigeonhole it casually as "I suppose I am rather reasonably undersexed" and laugh, instead of realizing that I am so far from the norm now as to have ended up in the LGBT+ section of the population. How strange--or perhaps, how queer indeed.

Another thing going on is the sensory stimulation that bombards us constantly. I had been working at a grocery-store. The radio was on constantly and it was physically exhausting. I would go home to my apartment and try to relax, and the noise of car radios and loud 4-cylinder motor exhaust had me constantly anxious. It got to the point where I went a couple days without sleeping and the next time I tried driving, ended up totaling my vintage Toyota which folded up like a paper hat. (I then tied the ruins of the hood down with a rope, drove it a few months until I could get parts, and started putting it back together. It still runs and now looks like a nice little car again--and I just drove it about 800 miles the other day.)
 
Funny considering you’re on here complaining about something you’re implying is present in my original post but in reality isn’t. I guess what you mean by this is “there is literally nothing to complain about except the imaginary complaints we will accuse others of making!”

I have no idea what you are talking about...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

New Threads

Top Bottom