I'm terrified but I also really wanna do this

[AuroraBorealis]

Hi, so: A week from now, I will leave to work on a dog farm for 2 months. A dream come true, and I am looking forward to it. But I am absolutely terrified, the closer it gets. I know I want to do this and would regret it if I don't, but I am so, so scared. A few reasons/snips from my anxiety spiral: The place is remote, what if I don't get along with the people there? I won't see my partner for 2 months and I will miss them terribly. What if I don't manage the tasks they give me? What if something bad happens? I won't have my known surroundings and my things. What if I get sick? What if I get overwhelmed from all the newness and get sick from that (this happened in the past)? What if I get meltdowns? What if I won't have the right clothes (it will still be pretty cold winter there) and I can't just go and buy them since the place is so remote? What if I get so homesick I want to leave? What if the people there aren't nice?

This is keeping me from packing, since I keep procrastinating it. I organized it myself, I know that the first few days of adjustment will be hard but that I will get used to everything and like it then, and that I will probably enjoy it a lot. But I am so panicked about it right now, and I could cry when I think about leaving my partner for so long. I will miss them terribly.
I have done other things than this in the past, I know I can do it. But oh God, I'm scared...

What do you do when you're terrified and keep falling into anxiety spirals but also know you really want/need to do this thing you're terrified of?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Do it, do it, do it! Stop thinking. Full speed ahead.

It is such a common "autistic thing" to get ourselves so wrapped up and worried about change, some new situation, what might happen that hasn't yet, etc. That fear of the unknown. All your questions above, yeah, we've all been there at one time or another.

How are you going to grow as a person if you always talk yourself out of things? Years from now, you'll be ruminating about things you missed out on, all those "should-a, would-a, could-a's", and THAT will add to your depressive state. Listen, you've live one life. Go for it! You know what? Who cares if you make a mistake or two? You probably will, so USE it. Learn, adapt, and overcome. On the other end, you'll be happy you had that experience.

It's all in your attitude. Open your mind and take it all in. Make some mistakes, OK don't do that again, do it differently next time and move on. Don't dwell.

We are so hard on ourselves and what people think of us. When in reality, most people don't think of us.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Make some mistakes, OK don't do that again, do it differently next time and move on. Don't dwell.

I'm not even that terrified of making mistakes. Not being able to manage the tasks is a concern, but the smallest one. I am really scared that I won't like it, that I'll feel bad there, that I get really really homesick, that I'll melt down from all the newness and the lack of comforting things, with no one and nothing there but myself to help me snap out of it again.
But of course you're right. I will re-read your post once I am a bit more calm.
I probably should make an emergency plan, like, what would I tell the people as a reason if I really wanted to leave early. And a plan on how to get through those first few adjustment days where I will probably hate it.

 

[Aspychata]

What l do is make back-up plans. The clothes thing? Over pack, bring hot chocolate packets, bring extra gloves, socks, and thermal underwear, maybe even a little dorm hot pot to warm up water for tea. People turn out to be from the black lagoon? Have a plan that you check in with your partner daily. And have a back-up plan in case of an emergency, you need to leave. Know where the nearest medical place too. There, now you can go, and feel a little more secure if you devise on a way to handle your biggest concerns. Put a few snacks, your favorite pillow, a great book or something to read, and picture of your partner in your suitcase. Maybe take a journal to write down what you did. Maybe take some pictures too.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Hi, so: A week from now, I will leave to work on a dog farm for 2 months. A dream come true, and I am looking forward to it. But I am absolutely terrified, the closer it gets. I know I want to do this and would regret it if I don't, but I am so, so scared. A few reasons/snips from my anxiety spiral: The place is remote, what if I don't get along with the people there? I won't see my partner for 2 months and I will miss them terribly. What if I don't manage the tasks they give me? What if something bad happens? I won't have my known surroundings and my things. What if I get sick? What if I get overwhelmed from all the newness and get sick from that (this happened in the past)? What if I get meltdowns? What if I won't have the right clothes (it will still be pretty cold winter there) and I can't just go and buy them since the place is so remote? What if I get so homesick I want to leave? What if the people there aren't nice?

This is keeping me from packing, since I keep procrastinating it. I organized it myself, I know that the first few days of adjustment will be hard but that I will get used to everything and like it then, and that I will probably enjoy it a lot. But I am so panicked about it right now, and I could cry when I think about leaving my partner for so long. I will miss them terribly.
I have done other things than this in the past, I know I can do it. But oh God, I'm scared...

What do you do when you're terrified and keep falling into anxiety spirals but also know you really want/need to do this thing you're terrified of?

About clothing in the great white north . . . . learn to dress in layers. Having a nice fleece sweater helps and you can wear that over a shirt and under a windproof shell. Spending a lot of time in the cold and polypropylene underwear is your friend. Aviod cotton and wear wool socks with a light silk inner sock. You will do fine. Get warm earbands or a hat (with earbands I don't even wear a hat.)

Take a deep breath and know that you will probably be OK. Have you ever volunteered at your local animal shelter so that you know the care that you will be providing the dogs? Things like that help ease you into the work.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Have you ever volunteered at your local animal shelter so that you know the care that you will be providing the dogs

No, I haven't. But the people there know that, and I love animals (dogs especially). And I have spent plenty of internships in the hospital (with the nurses, too), and I am fairly good with learning new things. I had no idea of that, either, and I did fine.

 

[marc_101]

I don't think there is a magical way of making anxiety disappear, but one way is to use thoughts to put everything into perspective. You're not going to jail. If any of the bad things happen, you come back home. It's as simple as that. So maybe make a plan to come back home in case anything bad happens? Anxiety is your mind preparing you to protect yourself, so maybe indulge the anxiety a little by making plans. Only a little though.

 

[Rodafina]

Start packing! It sounds like you are stuck in the pre-action anxiety phase... in other words, too much thinking. Your fears are reasonable, but many of them can be addressed. I think it's time for action. Action may be the thing that can ease the anxiety and get you out of a negative thinking spiral.

Instead of getting stuck on the packing phase, maybe you can think of packing as preparation for some of your worries. Pack a few comfort items. Pack something that can help during a meltdown. Be wise about what clothing you bring so you can be properly prepared for the weather without bringing too much stuff. Add in a few medications for illnesses that are likely. By spending you brain power on solution-based packing, you can take time away from anxious thinking.

Other things to maybe consider:

- Make a back up plan. If you absolutely had to leave early for some reason, make a plan for that. Most likely, you won't need it, but maybe it will bring some sense of security.

- Make a plan with your partner. How will you communicate and what can you do to feel connected even while you are far away?

- Remember that this is temporary and also, an adventure! Even if you miss all of your comfort from home, you will return to it after 2 months. You can embrace this opportunity as an exciting time for learning and growing and know that you get to go back to your familiar life after this.

Sounds really exciting and like a wonderful opportunity. I hope it goes well for you and that we get to hear about it.

Will you still have access to the forum while you are there? We can be supportive to you if things get tough.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Sounds really exciting and like a wonderful opportunity. I hope it goes well for you and that we get to hear about it.

Will you still have access to the forum while you are there? We can be supportive to you if things get tough.

Thanks, that's sweet to say. Yes, I should have access to the forum, and it's a comforting feeling that I can reach out if things get tough. This really feels like a safe space, thanks for that, you all.

 

[Tom]

Instead of thinking about all the things that can go wrong on the job, it would be better to think about the job you are going to do. I don't know what a 'Dog Farm' is but I am guessing it is some sort of rescue place or sanctuary. So maybe spend the time you are worrying, instead, on studying up on dogs. That is what you are going for after all, the dogs, not the people or even yourself. Stay focused on the job and you will at the minimum accomplish your mission. If you make friends, have some fun, that's just icing on the cake. But in any case you will gain experience.

 

[Aspychata]

Maybe just allow yourself to think good thoughts. Like who will l meet? What kind of dogs are there? Do they have a French chef? I wonder if l will meet someone on the spectrum. What if l get there, and never want to leave.

 

[Outdated]

What do you do when you're terrified and keep falling into anxiety spirals but also know you really want/need to do this thing you're terrified of?

Courage doesn't mean that you're not afraid. Courage means that you go ahead and do it regardless of the fact that you are afraid. Never let your fears control you.

 

[VictorR]

I can't speak for you, but I can say when I've gone on longer trips, there's always the anxiety of what-if's, including the big ones of finding one's place, fitting in, and adapting to new routines, but it seems that as the end comes, it's always the same - wishing I had more time there, but also glad to be going home.

 

[marc_101]

@AuroraBorealis Please keep us posted -- and send puppy pictures.

 

[Judge]

What do you do when you're terrified and keep falling into anxiety spirals but also know you really want/need to do this thing you're terrified of?

In my own case I think of Friedrich Nietzsche. - "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

Sometimes you have to face your worst fears "head-on", to truly get past them.

Friedrich Nietzsche: 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.' — The Socratic Method

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Friedrich Nietzsche's famous quote, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger," is a powerful assertion that resonates with many individuals facing challenges and adversity in their lives. At its core, the quote highlights the idea tha

www.socratic-method.com

 

[AndyFBlues]

Don't overthink it. Even if the answer is "no," it's better to have tried than to go through life wondering "what if."

As for being away from your partner for two months, think of how awesome the reunion will be.

 

[vergil96]

I won't have my known surroundings and my things. What if I get sick? What if I get overwhelmed from all the newness and get sick from that (this happened in the past)? What if I get meltdowns? What if I won't have the right clothes (it will still be pretty cold winter there) and I can't just go and buy them since the place is so remote? What if I get so homesick I want to leave? What if the people there aren't nice?

That's why I don't travel a lot and prepare for all possibilities. I'm the one to take a whole bag of items such as a sleeping bag, pillow, electric kettle, tea, rice cakes, soap, medicines, investigate thoroughly the living conditions (I guess that is about meltdowns). Also having emergency plans is a good idea, e.g. how to leave earlier, what to do in case you need to go to the hospital etc.

As for clothes, I second dressing in layers. Undershirt, then some kind of shirt/blouse, sweater/hoodie, waistcoat, windproof coat. You can also take leggins and looser trousers if your legs get cold. Woolen sweaters and socks are good for cold weather. I like thermal clothes too, from NorthFace and similar brands, they're easy to wash and dry quickly. Very comfortable for outdoor activities.

 

[Rodafina]

@AuroraBorealis
Are you there now?

 

[AuroraBorealis]

@AuroraBorealis
Are you there now?

Today's traveling day. I will update in a few days. Thanks for asking and caring!

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Arrived yesterday. The people are really nice, the surroundings are beautiful, the work's not difficult although of course somewhat physically challenging, and the dogs are adorable. Up till now, I've been happy and fine. But, somehow, right now I'm having a kind of low. My dad hasn't been nice and was mocking and dismissive over message and, as usual, this ruins my entire day. Emotional childhood abuse is great (not). And I feel kind of lost right now, since it's hard to reach people because the signal isn't good (which is the reason why my dad got unfriendly - like you don't even have signal there??? No... I didn't come here to be on the phone 24/7...). The internet works, although not great either. And I guess all the change is catching up with me.