How Do You Deal with Judgmental People Who Don't Understand?

[Autism]

Ditto, ditto, ditto. What can I say? Don't want to talk to people like that, there are so many doctors that already tried to send me to my doom, including one that attempted to sexually assault me as a little girl.
So many people who will fault others for mental conditions, physical conditions.

Anyone without a brain need not apply. That is about 99.9 percent. A byebye

 

[Autism]

Aspie Misconception of the Day: "Aspies can't read non-verbal communication." I've found that while I often don't get what people aretrying to put across without words, but I can almost always sense whatever it is that they're trying not to say. Their efforts to deceive, coerce, or persuade rarely work because the signals of their true intent are coming across so strong. The reason they can't acknowledge that we can read them is because they would have to admit their true intent and their efforts to deceive us. HA!

Well, heck, that was what I was going to say. Don't have to, you read my mind. Having to deal with people who maliciously try to invade other people's lives is almost worse. Witnessing what they try to do to other innocent human beings with their maliciousness is almost to much to bear.

 

[AsIstAga]

oh my yes. There seems to be a vast swathe of people like this. I have chosen to ignore them, after letting their poisonous thoughts infect my mind for far too long and far too deeply. This is one of the bigger reasons I am glad I am an aspie, as I don't judge people and tell them what I think. Ok, we all "judge" but luckily for me, I know this is a bad thing to inflict on others. Im glad I don't really register other people so I don't have as much crap in my head. I've got far better things to do with my life!

So, yeah, Screw them royally.

Great way to say it bro!!

 

[AsIstAga]

This is an unfortunate fact. People with Parkinson's and Multiple Sclerosis are mistaken for drunks sometimes.
While it really upsets me when people try to convince me that my ASD is something else and utterly nefarious (like people with other mental disorders/disabilities are all "bad" people that need to be eliminated). I need to be shaken up a little sometimes though. I have more control over certain habits of mine than I'm aware sometimes, and the people that do strange things to upset me into altering them for my own benefit are angels.

Wow, yeah. I'm starting fresh in a new place soon...hope I don't make same mistakes again and end up getting used!

 

[Rob]

How do you deal with people who don't understand and judge you? Also, do you ever run into people or doctors who won't believe you about certain things being from the Aspergers, and not just character flaws a normal person would have?

For instance, I'll mean to say one thing, it comes out wrong and offends someone, but that wasn't even what I meant, but they don't believe you. Another problem is when they attribute something you do to a certain character weakness you don't actually have. Maybe if a neurotypical person did it, it would reflect that weakness, but you might have to have stronger character than an average person just to do as well as you do!

Some people think you are just trying to use the Aspergers as a crutch, like an excuse to not have to take responsibility for things. But, at least speaking for myself, people don't realize that I work hard at improving every day, and do make progress, but it's very slow. But they don't see that, they think I'm just not trying, or sometimes they don't even believe you have Aspergers in the first place!

Anyone else have the same problems? How do you deal with it without getting upset?

Yes, and more so! My past comes to haunt me frequently, with my over-zealous faux-pas statements made to my NT sister's friends at her wedding years ago, coming to remind me of my past. "I was not impressed with the things you said to my friends that time, " she told me over the phone. I was red enough with embarrassment to match the colour of a beet root!

My sister visited me when I had a broken foot and told me that I paid too much for my 2000 Honda Civic that my then gym partner sold to me for market value. My sister was thinking trade-in value. Back then I told her the facts, and she backed off. It was a long time when I was finally able to tell her.

Now, at her last visit, she told me to get a more stressful, more accountable, less tolerant-of-error job, requiring more teamwork skills. In other words, A MORE REWARDING JOB! My current cashiering job at our local Chevron station seems to her, "SELLING MYSELF SHORT!" Yes, she is like someone tapping her foot on the floor, waiting for me to make some progress as she and my father think I am way behind. But my sister did talk with my boss, and my boss gave her HIS side of the story. It is good that someone cares enough and is sharp enough to put her patronizing person in her place. But in the future a door might open up for me. My employer might move to Revelstoke, BC to run the Chevron station there. If he does go there, I will be free to look for a different job. Perhaps, "more rewarding" and not that demanding after all.

 

[alexa roper]

Yeah I say to myself all the time "people are going to love you and hate you no matter what you do, so just do what makes you happy because their opinions don't matter." Well, as much as I want to and try to believe that, I still have to survive in this world, and like KassieMac said, it can be extremely difficult. You HAVE to have a job if you want to even just scrape by. If you want a good job however, you have to go through school which leads to massive debt which takes decades to get out of.

Plus the thought of school terrifies me to no end because I feel traumatized from high school and my attempted first year of college. But I am aware that because of the fact that I probably won't go back to school, I am condemned to a very small number of career options. I just want to be happy. But it seems like everything is working against us in this world.

I got pulled over the other day for no reason other than the cop was bored to he decided to run my license plate and he saw that it was expired (I wasn't even aware that my registration/license was expired. I suck at this adult stuff). I was extremely polite as I always am, but I could feel an anxiety attack starting to happen because I have had horrible luck with being pulled over in the past. He went back to his car and did his cop stuff and I freaked out a little more, and then he came back and gave me a ticket as I'm sitting there like sobbing and trying to explain myself. He didn't want to hear it. I understand that what I did was illegal, but he could have been decent and given me a warning, something that has never happened in my life. Cops just hate me. I know all of them aren't bad, but the ones that I have encountered have all done more harm than good.

I guess I'm struggling a little because I'm torn between being myself and trying to survive in this dull midwestern city. The only person that understands me is my boyfriend, but he is very busy most of the time.

 

[Daniel]

I started a thread for things doctors say and what they really mean ... everything I've posted is from personal experience. About a year ago I was having several seemingly-unrelated symptoms that caused me to lose unbelievable amounts of time off work for doctor visits, only to have the doctor congratulate me on my excellent health & kick me out the door. Someone at work mentioned the possibility of Fibromyalgia, so I asked the 'doctor' about it. He looked away (avoiding eye contact) and said "A lot of doctors don't believe in Fibromyalgia" ... then, you guessed it, kicked me out the door. It was immediately apparent that what he meant was that he doesn't believe in Fibromyalgia. Ugh. How's that for 'healthcare'? To sum up the story, I took to the Internet which told me I had ovarian cancer. I took that with a large grain of salt, but instead of going to a useless GP I went to a gyn. It was a benign ovarian cyst which was so large that I couldn't eat ... which required surgery. I now have medical records, scars, and (in a lab somewhere) physical proof, and yet that idiot continued to insist nothing was wrong. Moral of the story: it's not just you. They don't listen to anyone. They ridicule anyone who turns to the Internet, but Google was far more helpful than the quack that was right in front of me. At least it got me to the right type of doctor ... otherwise I would have starved to death by now.

I recently went to a doctor, against my better judgment due to consistent nagging from others, after suffering a concussion, for which there's nothing you can do but limit your activities and wait for it to heal (and I knew that). I received the best, most honest response I've ever heard from a medical professional--if they can't measure it, they can't treat it, so don't worry about it! I was so happy to be able to say to those naggers--I told you so!

So unless I have a condition with symptoms I can see or touch, I'm not bothering! They are only as good as what they know, and there's so much to know that they have to either specialize or do general practice, in which case they are jacks of all trades, masters of none.

KassieMac, I'm glad you kept looking! I've had spinal issues for the past twenty-odd years, and I have to shop around to find the right practitioners who look for the right things.

Aspie Misconception of the Day: "Aspies can't read non-verbal communication." I've found that while I often don't get what people are trying to put across without words, but I can almost always sense whatever it is that they're trying not to say. Their efforts to deceive, coerce, or persuade rarely work because the signals of their true intent are coming across so strong. The reason they can't acknowledge that we can read them is because they would have to admit their true intent and their efforts to deceive us. HA!

Nice to read this! I spot non-verbal communication all the time, and I had a situation like this this morning. I can spot someone being disingenuous a mile away. I'm sure she thought she was being tactful, but it stunk to high heaven.

I'm starting to get pretty good at empathizing, though. The NT world is pretty nuts. They exist in a world of managed surfaces, but on the inside, they're vulnerable. I have a pretty good idea what her problem was/is, and I'm taking this as a learning experience about her.

For dealing with judgmental people who don't understand me, I remind myself--their reaction has pretty much everything to do with them and their vulnerabilities, and they are entitled to that. I give myself credit for being able to recognize that, and to go on being myself.

Now, that being said...In the moment, it gets me riled up. I'm learning how to wait for the moment to pass. I heard recently that physiologically, your amygdala generates a chemical reaction--the fight-or-flight response. But it only lasts 90 seconds or so, so after that, people are ultimately capable of letting things go and moving on. Given that we Aspies have much more sensitive amygdalae than common folk (i.e. NTs), I wouldn't be surprised if that our fight-or-flight response takes considerably longer to subside.

I gained this calmer perspective on my day after taking a three-hour nap this evening. It's now 1:30 in the morning, and I'm feeling much better. I'm also seeing how my dark-cloud mood that came up in the afternoon (triggered further by stuff going wrong in areas where I'm responsible) was initiated by that early encounter.

 

[Dinotector]

How do you deal with people who don't understand and judge you? Also, do you ever run into people or doctors who won't believe you about certain things being from the Aspergers, and not just character flaws a normal person would have?

For instance, I'll mean to say one thing, it comes out wrong and offends someone, but that wasn't even what I meant, but they don't believe you. Another problem is when they attribute something you do to a certain character weakness you don't actually have. Maybe if a neurotypical person did it, it would reflect that weakness, but you might have to have stronger character than an average person just to do as well as you do!

Some people think you are just trying to use the Aspergers as a crutch, like an excuse to not have to take responsibility for things. But, at least speaking for myself, people don't realize that I work hard at improving every day, and do make progress, but it's very slow. But they don't see that, they think I'm just not trying, or sometimes they don't even believe you have Aspergers in the first place!

Anyone else have the same problems? How do you deal with it without getting upset?

I have this problem, especially with my friend's mom. I am self-diagnosed for now and my mom is working on getting me an evaluation because after me having read some of the information on females, she agrees and even thinks she may have Aspergers. My friend's mom is a special education teacher with a son who has mild AS, but she likes to tell me it is all in my head and that I just have anxiety and need to grow up because even if I get a diagnosis there "is no excuse for being rude/hateful to people," yet..she doesn't believe me when I say I don't realize I do this. When...I deal with people who upset me..I usually try to play with a bouncy ball or listen to a fan because the noises calm me down... Other than that..I end up crying and screaming, or another thing I do is stimming which I get told needs to stop.

I think being unformally diagnosed makes things more difficult sometimes because people aren't going to necessarily believe you until you have been to a doctor, and some will even refuse to pay attention and look at the way you act and communicate.

 

[faithmclaine]

Yes I am having the same problem trying to talk to my mum about it bit she jist thinks I am obsessed how do I make her listen

 

[AsIstAga]

Your comment just brought to mind a quote I read.. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Bernard M. Baruch

I was reminded of a different quote! I believe it was Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) who said "It's better to be thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!"

 

[AmyB8484]

Lucky you, if you can find anyone who's not like that. Nearly everyone I meet does me that way … not just peers or social contacts, but doctors, healthcare workers, employers, managers, coworkers. I can't leave the house without being mistreated. Makes it hard to get a job or pay my bills. I couldn't care less about making friends, I'm just trying to survive … but I'm glad to hear things aren't this bad for you.

Believe me, I TOTALLY understand, especially about having a hard time working and paying bills. I always struggled financially. I couldn't understand why I could, on one hand, be (supposedly) a genius, always the smart kid, outperform other kids in school easily, but then when I got into the real world, I couldn't float. I had not even been diagnosed, so I didn't even know what was wrong. Just that I didn't have the basic people skills needed to do 90% of jobs, and that people whom I knew were not even that smart could do those jobs better than me, while I could not move up.

I actually became a stripper after years of failing because I didn't want to lose my car and get evicted. Thing was, I could dance, but I couldn't talk to people, and that's actually how u make $ in the club. After the fees you have to pay the club every night, those little $1 bills don't add up to how much it looks, and u can actually leave at the end of the night empty-handed or even in debt to the club, unless you can talk customers into buying table dances. But I still did bettr at that than I had my whole life doing anything else, I could at least keep the lights on, so I didn't go back to a job. I don't dance anymore, only bcuz I'm living with my parents and taking classes in graphic design and doing transcription from HOME as my own boss. If I can avoid it, I'll never go back to the job market.

When I was a dancer, people could be so judgmental, thinking its because you're too dumb to do anything else or are a whore, or both. They'll be like"I pulled myself by my bootstraps, why can't you?" I'm like, "This IS how I'm pulling myself up!"

 

[AmyB8484]

I started a thread for things doctors say and what they really mean ... everything I've posted is from personal experience. About a year ago I was having several seemingly-unrelated symptoms that caused me to lose unbelievable amounts of time off work for doctor visits, only to have the doctor congratulate me on my excellent health & kick me out the door. Someone at work mentioned the possibility of Fibromyalgia, so I asked the 'doctor' about it. He looked away (avoiding eye contact) and said "A lot of doctors don't believe in Fibromyalgia" ... then, you guessed it, kicked me out the door. It was immediately apparent that what he meant was that he doesn't believe in Fibromyalgia. Ugh. How's that for 'healthcare'? To sum up the story, I took to the Internet which told me I had ovarian cancer. I took that with a large grain of salt, but instead of going to a useless GP I went to a gyn. It was a benign ovarian cyst which was so large that I couldn't eat ... which required surgery. I now have medical records, scars, and (in a lab somewhere) physical proof, and yet that idiot continued to insist nothing was wrong. Moral of the story: it's not just you. They don't listen to anyone. They ridicule anyone who turns to the Internet, but Google was far more helpful than the quack that was right in front of me. At least it got me to the right type of doctor ... otherwise I would have starved to death by now.

Aspie Misconception of the Day: "Aspies can't read non-verbal communication." I've found that while I often don't get what people are trying to put across without words, but I can almost always sense whatever it is that they're trying not to say. Their efforts to deceive, coerce, or persuade rarely work because the signals of their true intent are coming across so strong. The reason they can't acknowledge that we can read them is because they would have to admit their true intent and their efforts to deceive us. HA!

I totally agree about the misconception! No 2 Aspie's are the same. I think NT's look at symptoms from the OUTSIDE and try to interpret them, but they can't see INSIDE our brains. My nephew is also an Aspie, and he and I BOTH are the exact opposite in that we are OVER-sympathetic to a fault. I do think that with SOME people, they may APPEAR to NTs not to have empathy because they can do things that seem rude, but it's not based on rude intentions, just not knowing how to recognize how stuff comes across, and if they did, they would never do that thing, because they DO care.

For instance people think my nephew is rude sometimes, lacks empathy, but when a kid in his class was in the hospital, (and mind you, this kid wasn't even a friend of his, bcuz he didn't HAVE friends!) he somehow went around asking ppl to donate and raised $500 dollars for him!

I've always been OVER-sensitive to other's emotions. I think it can look the opposite because I might misjudge the right WORDS to express that empathy and come off sounding like I mean somethng other than what I did.

I guess they need more people studying Asperger's who know what it's like to actually HAVE it

 

[AmyB8484]

I recently went to a doctor, against my better judgment due to consistent nagging from others, after suffering a concussion, for which there's nothing you can do but limit your activities and wait for it to heal (and I knew that). I received the best, most honest response I've ever heard from a medical professional--if they can't measure it, they can't treat it, so don't worry about it! I was so happy to be able to say to those naggers--I told you so!

So unless I have a condition with symptoms I can see or touch, I'm not bothering! They are only as good as what they know, and there's so much to know that they have to either specialize or do general practice, in which case they are jacks of all trades, masters of none.

KassieMac, I'm glad you kept looking! I've had spinal issues for the past twenty-odd years, and I have to shop around to find the right practitioners who look for the right things.



Nice to read this! I spot non-verbal communication all the time, and I had a situation like this this morning. I can spot someone being disingenuous a mile away. I'm sure she thought she was being tactful, but it stunk to high heaven.

I'm starting to get pretty good at empathizing, though. The NT world is pretty nuts. They exist in a world of managed surfaces, but on the inside, they're vulnerable. I have a pretty good idea what her problem was/is, and I'm taking this as a learning experience about her.

For dealing with judgmental people who don't understand me, I remind myself--their reaction has pretty much everything to do with them and their vulnerabilities, and they are entitled to that. I give myself credit for being able to recognize that, and to go on being myself.

Now, that being said...In the moment, it gets me riled up. I'm learning how to wait for the moment to pass. I heard recently that physiologically, your amygdala generates a chemical reaction--the fight-or-flight response. But it only lasts 90 seconds or so, so after that, people are ultimately capable of letting things go and moving on. Given that we Aspies have much more sensitive amygdalae than common folk (i.e. NTs), I wouldn't be surprised if that our fight-or-flight response takes considerably longer to subside.

I gained this calmer perspective on my day after taking a three-hour nap this evening. It's now 1:30 in the morning, and I'm feeling much better. I'm also seeing how my dark-cloud mood that came up in the afternoon (triggered further by stuff going wrong in areas where I'm responsible) was initiated by that early encounter.

Wow, I didn't know that, about our amygdala being more sensitive, because that would totally explain why I have to take anti-anxiety drugs to function, and I've always resented the people who will judge you and say you shouldn't have to take medicine, you just need to learn to stop being "afraid" of everything and toughen up.

I too have been learning to always wait before reacting, but I did not know that about the 90 seconds. That is very useful information, because now I'll be able to recognize when that's what is happening, so thanks!

 

[alexa roper]

I actually became a stripper after years of failing because I didn't want to lose my car and get evicted. Thing was, I could dance, but I couldn't talk to people, and that's actually how u make $ in the club. After the fees you have to pay the club every night, those little $1 bills don't add up to how much it looks, and u can actually leave at the end of the night empty-handed or even in debt to the club, unless you can talk customers into buying table dances. But I still did bettr at that than I had my whole life doing anything else, I could at least keep the lights on, so I didn't go back to a job. I don't dance anymore, only bcuz I'm living with my parents and taking classes in graphic design and doing transcription from HOME as my own boss. If I can avoid it, I'll never go back to the job market.

When I was a dancer, people could be so judgmental, thinking its because you're too dumb to do anything else or are a whore, or both. They'll be like"I pulled myself by my bootstraps, why can't you?" I'm like, "This IS how I'm pulling myself up!"

OOOOH MY GOSH!! I am sorry but I have just never talked to someone with ASD that has been a stripper! I thought I was alone.

I agree with almost everything that you have said! I started doing it because I was in college and my license got suspended, but the strip club was right down the street. I hated interacting with customers, but I thoroughly enjoyed dancing on the pole. I didn't so much like the fact that I was dancing half naked for weirdos, but what I did enjoy was learning new and cool tricks on the pole.

I'd come in several hours before my shift just to practice by myself because it was fun as hell. I also feel like I'm part monkey, because swinging and jumping around feels so natural to me. So yeah, I got pretty good after 4 months of doing that, but I dreaded every other aspect of it. Like you said, you can be absolutely amazing on the pole but WILL NOT make a single dollar if you are not outgoing and interactive. I hated going up to guys, especially older men because it sort of felt like a child/child molester situation. Yes, chronologically I was 19, but mentally I was about 9. Yeah, messed up, I know.

After a month of dancing, I got my older sister to do it with me because she was struggling also, and plus it was easier to have her there. After 4 months, I quit dancing because our parents eventually found out, and I didn't want my parents disappointed in me, plus I knew I was better than that. The sad thing is, my sister stayed and is now dating the owner of the club....and is still stripping after 2 years. She's got her own set of issues, though.
As time went on and I've looked back, my opinion is that 98.7 % of all strippers either...
1. Have no sense of self
2. Have no sense of self-worth
3. Have mommy & daddy issues
I, myself, had the trifecta. If someone does decide that this is really what they want to do, they need to always keep an exit strategy in mind and not let themselves get caught up in that lifestyle, because it swallows you up and spits you right back out onto the pavement.

I was a gymnast 10 years ago but haven't done much physical exercise since then (I'm lucky to have stayed thin). Being on the pole made me realize how much I love doing things like that and pushing myself and my body to the limits. That's why I intend to pursue acrobatics. I know it sounds crazy, but it feels really natural for me. I will always keep a day job to support myself and do what needs to be done, because money is not my main goal in life. I'm fine with the little that I have, and I hate that we are basically born into a world of competition to be the wealthiest or most successful person. There is waahahahayyy more to life than this little box called society that we are all expected to fit in to. You just have to be brave enough and secure enough with yourself enough to break out of it and explore. I want to do aerial silks and trapeze and of course, the pole. People will forever think of the pole as a sexual thing, but I feel like if I'm not shaking my butt in your face or asking for dollar bills, people should respect the art. Just wishful thinking, though.

 

[AsIstAga]

OOOOH MY GOSH!! I am sorry but I have just never talked to someone with ASD that has been a stripper! I thought I was alone.

I agree with almost everything that you have said! I started doing it because I was in college and my license got suspended, but the strip club was right down the street. I hated interacting with customers, but I thoroughly enjoyed dancing on the pole. I didn't so much like the fact that I was dancing half naked for weirdos, but what I did enjoy was learning new and cool tricks on the pole.

I'd come in several hours before my shift just to practice by myself because it was fun as hell. I also feel like I'm part monkey, because swinging and jumping around feels so natural to me. So yeah, I got pretty good after 4 months of doing that, but I dreaded every other aspect of it. Like you said, you can be absolutely amazing on the pole but WILL NOT make a single dollar if you are not outgoing and interactive. I hated going up to guys, especially older men because it sort of felt like a child/child molester situation. Yes, chronologically I was 19, but mentally I was about 9. Yeah, messed up, I know.

After a month of dancing, I got my older sister to do it with me because she was struggling also, and plus it was easier to have her there. After 4 months, I quit dancing because our parents eventually found out, and I didn't want my parents disappointed in me, plus I knew I was better than that. The sad thing is, my sister stayed and is now dating the owner of the club....and is still stripping after 2 years. She's got her own set of issues, though.
As time went on and I've looked back, my opinion is that 98.7 % of all strippers either...
1. Have no sense of self
2. Have no sense of self-worth
3. Have mommy & daddy issues
I, myself, had the trifecta. If someone does decide that this is really what they want to do, they need to always keep an exit strategy in mind and not let themselves get caught up in that lifestyle, because it swallows you up and spits you right back out onto the pavement.

I was a gymnast 10 years ago but haven't done much physical exercise since then (I'm lucky to have stayed thin). Being on the pole made me realize how much I love doing things like that and pushing myself and my body to the limits. That's why I intend to pursue acrobatics. I know it sounds crazy, but it feels really natural for me. I will always keep a day job to support myself and do what needs to be done, because money is not my main goal in life. I'm fine with the little that I have, and I hate that we are basically born into a world of competition to be the wealthiest or most successful person. There is waahahahayyy more to life than this little box called society that we are all expected to fit in to. You just have to be brave enough and secure enough with yourself enough to break out of it and explore. I want to do aerial silks and trapeze and of course, the pole. People will forever think of the pole as a sexual thing, but I feel like if I'm not shaking my butt in your face or asking for dollar bills, people should respect the art. Just wishful thinking, though.

It is easy to see how it is like a form of interpretive dance! And, not having tried it myself...but having seen a few with skills at it, I can imagine it's an intense workout for both joints and muscles! Definitely an Art, just like other forms of dance...that's my opinion!

 

[alexa roper]

It really is a work out! I haven't done it in two years, but I am about to order a pole online finally. It will take a lot of getting used to (again) because it hurts every part of your body, including your skin. It is a perfect balance of cardio and weight lifting (the weight you are lifting is simply your own body) There are a lot of bruises and pole-burns in my future, though, but it will all be for the greater good.

Thanks for being so open minded about it! That's definitely a rare find.

 

[alexa roper]

It is easy to see how it is like a form of interpretive dance! And, not having tried it myself...but having seen a few with skills at it, I can imagine it's an intense workout for both joints and muscles! Definitely an Art, just like other forms of dance...that's my opinion!

I forgot to put this in my last post. It's just what I was responding to

 

[AsIstAga]

I forgot to put this in my last post. It's just what I was responding to

It's cool. Without getting too creepish, but I'd be happy to visit and give ya constructive criticism when ya practice! lol meant more as joke, but not that it wouldn't be nice, I'm sure!

 

[Peace]

Being a stripper is no different than being a Carpenter or a Doctor or a Sales Clerk, and much better than being a lawyer (joke). They are all just jobs and people that do them. Who are we that we should judge each other? I respect all people that practice responsibility to others. Both through taking care of ourselves and through not hurting others.
You ladies are welcome at my table anytime as respected guests, and I would venture to say that many on here would feel the same.

 

[KassieMac]

alexa roper and AmyB8484, YOU ROCK!

You've done something that would've terrified me, even if I'd had the talent/skill. And good for you for reclaiming it, dancing for your own benefit/empowerment, instead of to entertain some & generate profit for others.

And thanks for sharing something I didn't know … about how little you make from actually dancing, and can end a shift in debt … that's horrifying. It reinforces what I've observed about the jobs I've held … they don't actually care about the skills they hired you for, in the end it's all about social skills, it's just a big popularity contest. Ugh.