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Featured How do I overcome the inability to communicate well

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Jenisautistic, Mar 9, 2017.

  1. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member

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    Everyone something that really important things to say and I get upset and frustrated but I don't know how to say it or even how to think it a way.

    It's not like you're upset for no reason you're clearly upset for real reason it's just that you can't communicate those thoughts in the ideas and talking dialogue gets messed up in your head.

    This is usually when I have shut downs and cry sometimes when I can't get anything through to other people.

    And trying to write though it doesn't help either.

    And this is somewhat want to say I'm partially verbal because it's very difficult to communicate my wants and needs the people sometimes extremely with feelings.

    If I try to wright anything through even on here most to sometimes I'll get writers block. I won't be able to formulate the sentences or paragraphs to type. This is another reason why I don't write on here that often .
     
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  2. toothless

    toothless this is mr shadow,my support cat V.I.P Member

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    from what you say it seems you struggle more so with expressive communication than actual verbalisation, it is very hard for a lot of autistics to express their wants/needs/thoughts,sometimes preparing over and over what you want to say on paper/screen can help but with you having writers block, have you thought about using an AAC program-a pictorial based program to talk to people when you struggle or go mute?

    i struggle with speech,for me its a throwback to being non verbal my whole life,so i practice what i want to say over and over and over on the screen or get staff to write it down for me,and i have recently gone back to using AAC on a asus nexus tablet-got it for £25.

    when it comes to random conversation where you cant practice,i have very impaired speech,and end up echolalic as my brain totally operates on imagery and struggles to translate it to language quick enough,its why ive gone back to AAC and surprisingly im being supported with it.
     
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  3. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

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    Something I have to face everyday having a language based learning disability. I don't like being ignored by people for times I can't communicate effectively. Even for my job. I find at times the only way I can get my point across is showing the person live the issue due to my communication difficulties.

    Even though it not easy for me to write in written form, I still made many posts on here. Sometimes I get a troll attacking me of my writing and not understanding including the post I talk about language based learning disability. During those times, I will report the person.
     
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  4. toothless

    toothless this is mr shadow,my support cat V.I.P Member

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    ive had that to,penguin-i think theres spelling/grammar nazi trolls and then theres autistics who lack the social skill to understand you cant call someone up on their spellings/grammar etc as they might have a condition that affects them [plus hey, we arent at school-forums are here for support] ive been regulary attacked for it by two people here,one of them is a troll and one of them is not a troll but he didnt understand you cant have a go at people because they dont have perfect language,a lot of aspies are very passionate about having perfect writing but they need to make sure they keep it to themselves and are not harrassing anyone for it unless they ask you to correct them.

    i spoke to the guy who isnt a troll,explaining my issues and that i understand he is passionate about writing perfectly,but i dont like being harassed and it worked,so i didnt need to get mods involved that time,i recommend speaking to the person as sometimes they genuinely dont realise theyre being inapropriate.
     
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  5. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

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    I do always contact the person by PM first giving them a warning I will inform staff if this going to be a on going thing. Most people would listen and stop after this.
     
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  6. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    IMO you don't "overcome" it in the most literal sense.

    You learn to work on that which you might be able to improve if you so choose, and equally accept that which you cannot change. Perhaps being mindful of "The Serenity Prayer:

    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
     
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  7. Reedstorm17

    Reedstorm17 Well-Known Member

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    There are several thing like this that I find impossible to explain, and then my parents say "I'm just trying to understand" or "Try to explain it" no matter how many times I say I can't. I know they're trying to help, but it's still annoying.
     
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  8. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    My mother's "mantra" was "I just don't understand you!"
     
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  9. Miker

    Miker Active Member

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    I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but I wonder if diet has some impact on it. Sometimes I can put my message across easy while some days I struggle badly. When I become dehydrated I also struggle.
    Anyway maybe it might be good to have a system to build your thought process, like why, who, what and when. Define those first and construct your ideas around those
     
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  10. Elem

    Elem New Member

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    Jenisautistic,

    Accept where you are and keep practicing, you are only going to get better. Research has shown that your brain can't help but rewire it's self to adjust to whatever thoughts or actions you engage it.

    So if you have a habit of getting frustrated with yourself, it's reasonable to suggest that you have most likely developed a strong wiring for getting upset with yourself easily for not expressing yourself the way you prefer.

    Forgive yourself and keep practicing.
     
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  11. ChrisN

    ChrisN Active Member

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    64 here.
    I have always a deuce of a time communicating verbally. I would feel I was prattling on endlessly on subjects near and dear to me and if I didnt get an enthusiastic response, I would question myself.
    Then in my 40s I decided to wear a mask, literally. I was on a local public access TV show about Pro Wrestling and my persona, played for comedy, wore a mask. I hid behind the mask and said what I felt that came naturally and it was all good.
    Did you ever see a Pro Rasslin' interview? These people are experts in projecting a persona with words. Back in the day before it became big business, they relied heavily on appealing to the the masses thru the interview. None of them of course were like this in RL back then.
    Wearing the mask of projecting myself as a different persona has served me well over the past 25 years.
     
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  12. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

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    Third thing I add to your post from my experience is my writing improves as I write more. I believe the same will happen to you. Take all the time you need to write something. Sometimes I might spend up to one hour to prepare text before I submit my text for a thread.
     
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  13. Jusdifferent

    Jusdifferent Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    LOL - Rick Flair:rolleyes: Woooooooooo! ( Still doing the "walk" after all these years! )
     
  14. Jusdifferent

    Jusdifferent Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    On making myself understood... If there is an important conversation to be had - like seriously important - I will write - letter, or email - I just can't do the verbal thing - at least not for very long. Know this sounds strange, but talking wears me out in a way my workouts never do:(
     
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  15. Jusdifferent

    Jusdifferent Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I grew up watching WWE with my Grandpa - back in the days of Ted Dibiase, Jake the Snake, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, crazy old RR Piper... ( Now, I pretty much only get to watch Wrestlemania, and a few other rare guilty pleasures:pensive: ) I am alone right now, but you got me thinking, and laughing to myself... ( Yes, it's an evil little laugh:smilingimp: ) When it comes to "getting the point across", there are days, ( and people ), where I think a "Batista Bomb", or a "tombstone piledriver" could just "say it all", and SOoooo much better:smirkcat:
     
  16. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your reply and I will consider it

    Sometimes I echo when I'm in conversations too.
     
  17. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member

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    Here's an idea. Have a smart phone available with you that is charged, and then start looking up stuff on the fly for ideas when you are not sure what to say. If it also doesn't bother you to let other people see that you're looking up stuff, even better. If anyone starts complaining about it, just say you're looking for the right words for something and don't know how to express it.. Maybe even ask those people that are complaining to help you.

    Also, don't give up. Take breaks if you need to, but otherwise keep trying.
     
  18. ZebraAspie

    ZebraAspie Well-Known Member

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    I struggle t communicate when anxious,stressed or upset. I will cry and melt down. I'm trying not to much to pent so much so I don't point where I can't communicate how I feel. A the moment I'm doing at therapy to try help over come this issue. In the past O did speech therapy which kind of helped. I have also started doing video diaries when something frustrates me.