How alien do you feel?

[Guppyfry]

I feel like I have not one single thing in common with the people around me, ESPECIALLY other women. I hardly ever talk to anyone, I feel that they live in a different universe that I do not understand. I work in a mostly male-dominated industry (Helicopter maintenance and operations). Most of the women here are office workers (like myself, but I deal with specific maintenance tracking and requirements). There seems to be an unwritten rule that 'girls' get each other and need to stick together. (How I hate being refered to as a 'girl' - so patronizing and demeaning if you are an adult woman).

I've been working here for over 10 years, young people come in, get married, have kids, I don't know any of this. I barely recognize them (one more reason I isolate myself, very embarassing to not recognize people you work with almost on a daily basis).

To tell the truth, I feel threatened by people's 'normal' life, because I so can not relate. It scares me that I have to interact with someone who did all the stuff I never did, and cannot imagine myself doing. I've no interest in what others like to talk about - kids, fashion, makeup, the latest movie heart-throb, shopping, etc. I notice with some people, when they do something, it's not about what they did, it is who said what, who sat where, who talked to whom - odd - as if that was the most important thing in the world.

I can act very normal, be assertive when required, work with others well, and with some people I feel very confident and natural and have fun bantering back and forth. I pass for NT well enough, functional enough to have been doing the same job for all these years whild I see others get hired then fired (or have their position "eliminated").

But seems that inside burns a fire of bewilderement. Parallel planes of existance that will never intersect.

 

[Catlover614]

I feel very much like an alien and I can definitely relate to your post. I don't have anything in common with anyone either. I'm an introvert and I can't stand "groups" of any kind like you have to live up to someone else's standards to be considered a part of their group. Pardon my language, but F^^k that! I applaud you on your decade of your work. I'm so much of an alien that I require a home based business.

 

[wight]

Umm, yeah. Right there with you. Nothing in common with them. Completely different life experiences, background, interests. No real reason to talk about anything personal. Alien, alienated.

 

[Valentine]

Agree, I experience this as well. I've had over a dozen different jobs, just can't keep one for anything. Hated school, hated college. Even church, where people are supposed to be open and accepting of any behavior other than sin, I haven't had a great run. I'm about as alien as if I were born on Mars.

 

[Gritches]

Yup, I'm right there with you. It makes me ponder the infamous Mazlow's Hierarchy of Needs, in which a sense of belonging is considered a basic need. Specifically, I wonder if the degree of belonging needed is greater or lesser for Aspies. I think it's lesser, but back on topic:

I do feel like an alien. I very much feel like I'm talking to people who are fundamentally not the same as me when I deal with NTs, like they're a different species. Reminds me a bit of this show I used to watch on Animal Planet where some guy would try to rehabilitate chimpanzees and as a part of the process would mimic their behaviors to try to gain the acceptance of the group. If he failed, they would make a bunch of noise and attack him and throw their poop at him. Yes, at its essence a very similar experience, come to think of it.

 

[Toni]

I try to be "normal" but it feels like im trying to fit a square shaped item to an circle shaped hole.

 

[StephF]

Aspie, phone home !

 

[toothless]

i dont understand or relate to humans at all, i feel like a alien in this world and operate on a different parallel universe to everyone,thats how it feels.

guppyfry,can i ask,do you own fish? i have lots of guppies,your name intrested me.

 

[OrSomething]

I do feel like an alien. Other people, even other Aspies, seem to be able to be outgoing and have conversations with others. I just always feel like I'm on the outside looking in.

 

[NovaScotia Aspie]

I don't have a whole lot in common with the people I work with. I hate being labeled as " quiet " when in reality I am just not very interested in the topics of discussion. There is a part of me that wishes I could have a been a family man but I realize it was likely for the best as I don't think I would have been good at it .

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Not very. My development was atypical but never once did I feel like I was different to other people, looking back I can say I was. Trouble is I have a real difficulty trying to accept I am different, I don't doubt at all that I have Asperger's however. Maybe I'm searching for something that just can't be obtained.