Guys think I’m ugly

[Levitator]

I need to buy charisma somewhere i think, i have some emotional problems because i perceive i was disliked all my life..

Yeah, I'm sure being beaten all the time at home and at school were just a matter of perception. I did have friends, but they didn't give a crap about my wellbeing, so how much of a friend were they?

 

[GrownupGirl]

Humans are sadly genetically wired to judge others based solely on their looks, as sight is the most dominate of the senses, and it will never change.

 

[Levitator]

Humans are sadly genetically wired to judge others based solely on their looks, as sight is the most dominate of the senses, and it will never change.

I'm not entirely sure what went wrong, but I'm pretty sure it boils down to complacency and selfishness. It doesn't demand a lot of analysis.

 

[Aneka]

One time I was told by a guy during Halloween that I was so ugly and gross the mask he was wearing looked just like me. Other guys also called me pizzaface at school because I had so much acne. Kids would also often mock me for being too sensitive at school.

I know I shouldn’t be hurt by it since those days are long gone but it still hurts.

No advice needed, just need a little something to talk about personally. It went into my mind just recently.

What actually makes people attractive is confidence.
Shy introverts are being seen as less attractive for that very reason. If people know they can hurt, they will do it.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

What actually makes people attractive is confidence.
Shy introverts are being seen as less attractive for that very reason. If people know they can hurt, they will do it.

I used to be a confident person when I was younger but people still talked garbage about me. So that is not the case.

 

[Tired Anna]

Absolutely true. Appearances don’t matter, it’s one’s personality that does.

Appearances do matter in the short run, because people will first see you, and not feel what type of person you are. So if they dislike how you look, they won't give much chance for you to show what an amazing personality you have.
And money also mean a lot, because between the same disabled person with and without money, most people will choose the one with money. Because we all need financial safety in some way, that's a normal thing to want.
Telling all this as an NT person who's constantly in contact (against my will, mind you) with other NT people, and those are things I hear on a daily basis. But yeah, in the long run personality matters most, because people rarely marry someone for their looks

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

Appearances do matter in the short run, because people will first see you, and not feel what type of person you are. So if they dislike how you look, they won't give much chance for you to show what an amazing personality you have.
And money also mean a lot, because between the same disabled person with and without money, most people will choose the one with money. Because we all need financial safety in some way, that's a normal thing to want.
Telling all this as an NT person who's constantly in contact (against my will, mind you) with other NT people, and those are things I hear on a daily basis. But yeah, in the long run personality matters most, because people rarely marry someone for their looks

Appearances should not matter, no matter how many people say so. Don’t listen to them because they have no clue what they’re talking about.

 

[Cryptid]

The Ideal: Appearances should not matter.

The Reality: Appearances DO matter. So do personality, health (mental and physical), intelligence and education, artistic talent, and the lack of addictions, legal troubles, and (in my opinion) piercings and tattoos.

Adhering to idealism causes people varying degrees of self-doubt and sadness. Accepting reality sets people free from these feelings. Once I accepted the facts that (1) I was not born 'normal', and (2) my 'abnormality' could be worked to my advantage, life got better for me. Yes, ASDs do grant advantages.

I am 66 years old, and by no means do I count myself as "attractive". Yet, my wife and I have been happy with each other since we first met.

 

[Tired Anna]

The Ideal: Appearances should not matter.

The Reality: Appearances DO matter. So do personality, health (mental and physical), intelligence and education, artistic talent, and the lack of addictions, legal troubles, and (in my opinion) piercings and tattoos.

Adhering to idealism causes people varying degrees of self-doubt and sadness. Accepting reality sets people free from these feelings. Once I accepted the facts that (1) I was not born 'normal', and (2) my 'abnormality' could be worked to my advantage, life got better for me. Yes, ASDs do grant advantages.

I am 66 years old, and by no means do I count myself as "attractive". Yet, my wife and I have been happy with each other since we first met.

I know myself that when I like some, and specifically love them, that person will become immediately prettier for me in my eyes. And when I dislike someone, they can look like a model, I'll find every grey hair or wrinke on their face. So perception of someone's beauty is connected for me a lot to the person's character and how much I like/dislike them.

 

[Harmonie]

Guess I should go put my personality in the wood chipper, then. Maybe I can buy one.

I totally feel that. I've noticed that I'm not attractive in either personality nor appearance. It sucks.

 

[Fino]

School is hell.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

The Ideal: Appearances should not matter.

The Reality: Appearances DO matter. So do personality, health (mental and physical), intelligence and education, artistic talent, and the lack of addictions, legal troubles, and (in my opinion) piercings and tattoos.

What you have said right here is the most insensitive and hateful thing I have ever seen. From what you’re talking, you seem to only care about those who have the same hive mind as you. It is sad and pathetic. You seem to be so obsessed with the way someone looks that you fail to see the point me and a few others are trying to make.

Do you seriously realize what you’re saying is dangerous? If according to your logic, appearances and the money they make DO matter, then racism, ageism, and fatphobia is acceptable? If you seriously think this, then you sir are way out of touch.

“Adhering to idealism causes people varying degrees of self-doubt and sadness. Accepting reality sets people free from these feelings. Once I accepted the facts that (1) I was not born 'normal', and (2) my 'abnormality' could be worked to my advantage, life got better for me. Yes, ASDs do grant advantages.

I am 66 years old, and by no means do I count myself as "attractive". Yet, my wife and I have been happy with each other since we first met.”

So now it’s apparently “reality” and “freeing” to brutally reject someone because of their appearance, as if how fat or sloppy the person is offends you so much. Your reality sounds far more like the ideal one as far as I’m concerned.

And you have also just admitted that you are internalizing ableism, by saying that you are “abnormal” and not “neurodivergent”. The term “abnormal” sounds discriminatory, and you’re still using ableism as facts???

If you seriously think all ASD’s have lots of advantages, you’re fooling yourself. Look, I don’t like to call you out on this stuff but hearing what you just said is absolutely insensitive, and I cannot let this slide.

 

[NB79]

What you have said right here is the most insensitive and hateful thing I have ever seen. From what you’re talking, you seem to only care about those who have the same hive mind as you. It is sad and pathetic. You seem to be so obsessed with the way someone looks that you fail to see the point me and a few others are trying to make.

Do you seriously realize what you’re saying is dangerous? If according to your logic, appearances and the money they make DO matter, then racism, ageism, and fatphobia is acceptable? If you seriously think this, then you sir are way out of touch.

“Adhering to idealism causes people varying degrees of self-doubt and sadness. Accepting reality sets people free from these feelings. Once I accepted the facts that (1) I was not born 'normal', and (2) my 'abnormality' could be worked to my advantage, life got better for me. Yes, ASDs do grant advantages.

I am 66 years old, and by no means do I count myself as "attractive". Yet, my wife and I have been happy with each other since we first met.”

So now it’s apparently “reality” and “freeing” to brutally reject someone because of their appearance, as if how fat or sloppy the person is offends you so much. Your reality sounds far more like the ideal one as far as I’m concerned.

And you have also just admitted that you are internalizing ableism, by saying that you are “abnormal” and not “neurodivergent”. The term “abnormal” sounds discriminatory, and you’re still using ableism as facts???

If you seriously think all ASD’s have lots of advantages, you’re fooling yourself. Look, I don’t like to call you out on this stuff but hearing what you just said is absolutely insensitive, and I cannot let this slide.

In society, idk if the other poster is him who thinks that, or just said that for today society all that stuff matters a lot, looks and money do a lot accept it or not. I don't think myself that those values are something noble, but is reality.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

In society, idk if the other poster is him who thinks that, or just said that for today society all that stuff matters a lot, looks and money do a lot accept it or not. I don't think myself that those values are something noble, but is reality.

The problem is that those who believe that appearances and money do matter and believe this is reality are the ones fooling themselves.

Think about it. If this IS reality, it’s going to be a miserable one indeed. What if someone took you in only because you had money flowing out of your pocket and then one day when they realize you’re now broke, they throw you out because they don’t find you useful anymore? Is that a reality WORTH supporting? I don’t think so.

Is it really ok to ostracize a person for having an appearance you’re not comfortable with? Preferences is one thing, but if you’re going to throw out someone just simply for their appearance, that would be wrong.

The truth is appearances don’t matter, and they should never matter. People don’t seem to believe it’s so but they fail to understand the intention of my statement in the first place. I’m not going to argue with these kinds of people anyway as such ignorance is a waste of my time.

 

[Cryptid]

The Ideal: Appearances should not matter.

The Reality: Appearances DO matter. So do personality, health (mental and physical), intelligence and education, artistic talent, and the lack of addictions, legal troubles, and (in my opinion) piercings and tattoos.

What you have said right here is the most insensitive and hateful thing I have ever seen. From what you’re talking, you seem to only care about those who have the same hive mind as you. It is sad and pathetic. You seem to be so obsessed with the way someone looks that you fail to see the point me and a few others are trying to make.

It is YOU who has missed the point -- it ALL matters. Appearances, personalities, physical and mental health, intelligence and education, artistic talent, and lack of addictions or legal troubles.

EVERYTHING MATTERS.

 

[Misty Avich]

I just get angry when people call people ugly. It's one of the worst insults you can hurl at someone, much more than misgendering. I don't know how they live with themselves. It's understandable to be offended by that. It is real hurtful comments and often isn't even true that the victim is ugly. So why say it? Why do they want to hurt someone's feelings so badly? It's sickening. How would THEY like it if someone called THEM ugly? I bet they wouldn't like it.
Nasty people.

 

[NB79]

The problem is that those who believe that appearances and money do matter and believe this is reality are the ones fooling themselves.

Think about it. If this IS reality, it’s going to be a miserable one indeed. What if someone took you in only because you had money flowing out of your pocket and then one day when they realize you’re now broke, they throw you out because they don’t find you useful anymore? Is that a reality WORTH supporting? I don’t think so.

Is it really ok to ostracize a person for having an appearance you’re not comfortable with? Preferences is one thing, but if you’re going to throw out someone just simply for their appearance, that would be wrong.

The truth is appearances don’t matter, and they should never matter. People don’t seem to believe it’s so but they fail to understand the intention of my statement in the first place. I’m not going to argue with these kinds of people anyway as such ignorance is a waste of my time.

Yes, today society have bad values, are shallow, etc. Sorry i was saying that even if you have christian values money and looks etc can do a lot in society anyway, because sadly that how people think most of the time.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

It is YOU who has missed the point -- it ALL matters. Appearances, personalities, physical and mental health, intelligence and education, artistic talent, and lack of addictions or legal troubles.

EVERYTHING MATTERS.

No, it is YOU who have missed the point! You seem to think only your echo chamber is right, and those who disagree with you are “missing the point”!

For the last time, appearances DO NOT matter, I don’t care how many times you have to shove it in my face! I don’t give a damn what they look like, I don’t give a damn how smart or stupid they are, how much money they have in their pockets, if they have any talent or not, if they’re addicted or not, any criminal activity involved, WHATEVER!

What truly matters is how they treat others, and if you have such a problem with what people look like or any of their history, that is just a YOU PROBLEM! It would be ironic of you to say appearances do matter, because if they DID, you’d be divorcing your wife by now because of how ugly she looks!

Don’t talk to me ever again. I am done dealing with you.

 

[Mary Terry]

No, it is YOU who have missed the point! You seem to think only your echo chamber is right, and those who disagree with you are “missing the point”!

For the last time, appearances DO NOT matter, I don’t care how many times you have to shove it in my face! I don’t give a damn what they look like, I don’t give a damn how smart or stupid they are, how much money they have in their pockets, if they have any talent or not, if they’re addicted or not, any criminal activity involved, WHATEVER!

What truly matters is how they treat others, and if you have such a problem with what people look like or any of their history, that is just a YOU PROBLEM! It would be ironic of you to say appearances do matter, because if they DID, you’d be divorcing your wife by now because of how ugly she looks!

Don’t talk to me ever again. I am done dealing with you.

You're living up to and fulfilling your chosen screen name/avatar.

I don't think there is anything anyone can say to help you because you will angrily reject their insight and experience, insist that only you know "truth", and insult them with your anger.

Good luck.

 

[WildCat]

You really should stop with these threads already if you can't or won't express yourself in a civil manner.

Not everyone is obligated to share your views or tell you what you want to hear, and if this is how you treat people who disagree with you outside of an internet forum, I'm afraid you're not going to find much solace there either.