Forgetting How to Smile

[Pondering]

Please tell me I'm not the only one who sometimes forgets how to smile? Today I passed by someone I knew and was aquainted with and I wanted to smile. I tried to but then I had this awkward moment where internally I was like 'where are my face muscles?!' I think I must have ended up with twisted duck lips or something in a failed attempt to greet the passerby. Couldn't even smile back at the poor person. It would have been genuine because on the inside I was smiling. I try to smile but the face doesn't cooperate. This normally does not happen either. Seldom does it happen but when it does, it's awkward. I can't be the only one who physically struggles smiling? Why is smiling so hard?

 

[Ylva]

I guess it's dyspraxia again. I can't do it either; anything even mildly surprising, if I weren't prepared to smile or already smiling, I can't just make the desicion amd do it. I say dyspraxia because it is reminiscent of my selective mutism; I'll make the decision to speak, and my mouth won't even open. It doesn't resist, it does exactly nothing.

I do have a "facial expression script" that I theoretically speaking can follow automatically, but I have to be prepared.

 

[Suzanne]

I don't think it happens quite like that, but instead, depending on the situation, I feel the smile is plastered on my face and have a sense that the longer I am in that uncomfortable situation, the smile becomes very wobbly and I have to escape.

I am a smiler, but there are times, I have to fix that smile on my face, because I just hate the idea of a cold face.

Funnily enough, my husband who is an nt, finds it hard to smile and says that he smiles inside.

 

[garnetflower13]

I have had that happen, too! It is hard to smile spontaneously sometimes unless I am already about to laugh or something. Sometimes if a person smiles warmly, I can imitate it fairly well.

 

[Berianireth]

I have frozen expressions sometimes too. Oddly I also have this hemiparetic/spastic thing where one side of my face will cooperate and then a few seconds later the other will...and sometimes I will accidentally hold my jaw sideways or lose one side of my lower lip under my teeth. I've been this way since I was very young and my parents were at one point concerned I was parkinsonian! It gets mistaken for attitude occasionally by people that are quick to personalize everything.

 

[Maiasaura]

I thought I was the only one who struggled with this! Smiling--especially for photos always feels awkward for me. Add to that a time 25 years ago when someone shamed me about my smile in my prom photos. I am very nearly phobic about smiling for a camera. It never feels right to me. I never have any idea what my face will actually look like when I smile. Sometimes it works out, sometimes i just look awkward and uncomfortable probably because I'm trying really hard NOT to look awkward and uncomfortable. if there were smile therapy I would totally do it. I have gone so far as to ask a local photographer to help me figure out which my least awkward 'side' is, how I should face the camera, where I should try to make sure the light is. It sorta helped but I still feel like I have a long way to go.

 

[Aspieistj]

I think a genuine smile just happens without any preconceived thought. I once thought of something funny just as I was about to wash my face and I saw my unplanned smile and was blown away with how friendly I looked. Often, I smile at someone in the same way I say thank you. I want to be pleasant so I say the right words and I make my mouth smile. I am certain these two smiles look different. I used to work with a woman who smiled a lot and I believe many smiles were not spontaneous. I used to notice how tightly she skinned her upper lip up and how fake her smile looked.

 

[Progster]

I don't forget how to move my face muscles, but there's something wrong with the muscles, one side lifts up more than the other, and a smile can come out like a sneer. And I don't always get the expression I want right, and I'm misinterpreted. I often got punished as a kid for frowning, when I was totally unaware that I was doing so.

When I'm talking to people, I'm acting and need to remember to smile at certain points in the conversation, when I say hello, for example. It sometimes happens that I forget to smile and people think I'm grumpy. I often forget things; today I forgot to say thank you to someone who held the door open for me

 

[Keith]

Lately I've been noticing when I start to smile and have this reflex where I stop myself from smiling. I worry how it affects others.