Expressing Levels of Anxiety, Distress & Panic to NT's

[fuzz]

If your ASD is like mine, then Anxiety, Distress and Panic often results from becoming overwhelmed by social situations and by over stimulation to your senses (sound, light, smell, etc).

These set of feelings can be so much it stops me from functioning normally; from being able to think; or to do anything but sit with my head in my hands waiting for the feelings to lessen.

Even once these feelings of distress have lessened, my ability to focus on some tasks can be severely affected for a long time afterwards. Sometimes I cannot focus a particular task for several days, even if it is very important for me to get the task done.

I want to be able to express to people at my work, and my Support Worker how much of an affect on me my anxiety has, but when I try to to this I generally get the feeling they do not see it as such a serious issue as me. It always comes across as if they think I can just get over it.

Do you have any advice on getting across the levels of anxiety people with Asperger's or ASD experience and the effects of this on the person with ASD?

 

[On the Inside]

I've only been able to explain it by asking the person how they felt when they were really anxious, say, before an important test, or their first time asking someone on a date. Now, imagine feeling that way when you are on your way to a social function, or just going to work. Now imagine feeling that way for a whole day, maybe two and having it affect your ability to perform, get to sleep.

Sometimes, if the person is at least halfway sensitive, they will understand and sympathize. But there are people who do not feel anxiety as anything more than a bit of nervous energy that is quickly dissipated. Analogous examples won't work on them, they are more likely to say "get over it and get on with it".

I don't share much with most people at work, I just try to say that I'm anxious about something in particular, and that it is affecting my performance a little. Unless I'm really cracking up, they don't need to know more. Those times, I just try to get to a quiet place and calm down.

I have struggled with high levels of anxiety since I was about 13, and it was the reason I sought help that led to being diagnosed Aspie. I am taking medication for anxiety and seeing a therapist to help with strategies to lessen my anxious thoughts. I've been doing well for about a year, and much better in the last six months, but I still have days where I'm right back where I was 5 years ago. Thankfully I am able to cut the anxious time down to half a day, or so.

Hope you can get some good responses, and find the help you need.

 

[Slithytoves]

It's funny that I've just seen this thread, because I just had to describe the way I experience anxiety to both my psychiatrist and my counselor today. For me, there is no "mildly anxious". If something is stressing me out, it quickly manifests in all kinds of unpleasant physical symptoms. I usually implode rather than explode, contracting into myself in a way I can only liken to the gravitational collapse of a star. It's almost like there's this painfully slow, intense crushing happening. I feel it in a very real way. Once I'm compressed down to a singularity, it can take quite a while to start expanding outwards again. Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. Don't ask me to think about anything, or do anything. Pretend I'm not there at all until I give the signal.

Sometimes I feel a horrible crawling sensation when I'm anxious. Or a feeling of being trapped in my own body, desperately wanting out.

I don't think a person can ever perfectly explain those kinds of feelings. I've become pretty creative with analogies. Trying to equate what I'm feeling to a human experience isn't always the most effective approach, because those are so subjective. Something natural and external that creates a more objective mental picture usually works better. See my star analogy, above. I've gotten that across to a few people pretty well. Once they grasp the core feeling, they seem better able to understand when I describe the consequences in my behavior.

You didn't ask, but one way I have learned to pull myself out of a bad state is a technique from Dialectical Behavior Therapy called Opposite to Emotion Action. I don't try to actively suppress the way I'm feeling; that's not very healthy. I just choose to do something opposite to what my state of mind is telling me to do. If everything in me is telling me to isolate, I go out, or at least call someone or go to a forum and interact. If I want to sit still with my head in my hands, to use your example, I put on some favorite music and at least try to hum or tap along with it. Can I always muster the strength to push back against my natural urges when I'm a disaster zone inside? Heck, no. But I try. I'll settle for a 25% success rate. There are times when I need all the help I can get.

I hope you can find the words you need.


(Edited for clarity.)

 

[Kari Suttle]

It depends on where i am if i express it at all - if i hide it as much as possible or if i show it a little or if i divulge completely to the best of my ability. If i get overloaded at work i'm comfortable not hiding it around certain supervisors cause they're excellent supervisors, i can force out a few words trying to describe a situation that really warrants a sentence or few and they'll get it and fix it. Honestly i don't trust people enough to tell anyone anything unless its a close friend i've known forever. I wouldn't tell people at work anything, the most i would do is not try to suppress my feelings and reactions. Honestly if they won't understand it they then won't understand it. Perhaps providing them with concrete, specific suggestions as to how they can help you deal with it (without being too much in the way) would be a better route to take? Idk i'm running on three hours of sleep from last night and its midnight now and i should really be asleep but i feel ****** emotionally so i dont wanna go to bed yet even if i'm exhausted to the point i keep making (and correcting) typos. I can't think much less process things right now.

 

[NlGHTgirl]

It depends on where i am if i express it at all - if i hide it as much as possible or if i show it a little or if i divulge ...... i'm exhausted to the point i keep making (and correcting) typos. I can't think much less process things right now.

I understand both ............


not sleeping? eh? Personally, I kinda prefer that state to the over sleeping groggy grumpy foggy slow brain. ugh.

constant ENERGY here, is how I describe it to my therapist. It just manifests different ways. Usually, happy, maybe a big manic, but it's creative, hypo manic , functioning. I am familiar with DBT. It was training for the Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer person was in my life. Fascinating. DBT helps many types of issues? perhaps?

The nerves, the anxiety, the energy, it tends to go straight to my bowels. : (
Constipation and the EXACT OPPOSITE of constipation, um, er, ah,.. aw....sorry folks......... I'm a nervous behavior person! eek!

I also have hypothyroidism? oh, so many issues, so little time to join all the most helpful forums, heh. heh....
wait....

aw........

Does anyone else admit to GI issues? (blushes)

 

[Ylva]

Diary of a Mom says that her autistics daughter's anxiety never registered with her as more than nervousness until the girl yelled "I don't want to die!" when the car cut briefly into the other lane on the highway.

On the other hand, if you use words that describe the feeling more accurately from an NT point of view (if an NT were to describe that same feeling) you get accused of exaggerating.

And we are the ones with supposedly no empathy…

 

[rx7chick]

They really can't relate very well unless you can get them to remember the feelings they had during the most terrifying experience of their lives, and try to get them to remember that thye could not control those terrible feelings, ignore them, or make them go away...it just took time. To those who are condescending or dismissive, I don't bother to explain. What would be the point? They either can't or won't take the time to manifest empathy. To those who are empathetic I do try to explain, when it feels appropriate. What I describe is the physical sensation of falling, and it doesn't stop for hours, even days. I explain that it is completely impossible to ignore, push away, control, and it makes focusing on anything extremely difficult. They seem to understand what it feels like to be falling and how "loud" and demanding that would be.