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does aspergers mke u antisocial and withdrawn/ introvert

Kevlin

Kevlin

Active Member
i never want to go anywhere with people id rather stay home and be on internet 75% of the time, unless im getting fast food or something good to eat I never want to leave SRS. I only really leave my room when someone offers me to go get mcdonalds, I don't really like humans, and I would rather play video games or just post on forums/ listen to music do my own thing most of the time. I don't feel the need to really go out and socialize everyday I find it boring and meaningless anyway.
 
I think it depends on the person. For me if I don't socialize in the day it is because I get tired of "playing a part" most NT expect me to "act normal" or try to" act normal " and I get sick of dating and doing things I don't really understand only to have people even friends act like I'm dumb or using it as an excuse to be rude.
 
I don't know if it's purely an AS thing. There are some outgoing aspies out there.

As for myself; I tend to spend a lot of time indoors and don't actively socialize, except for this forum and chatting with my girlfriend. Every once in a while I'll meet up with a friend.

On the other hand, it's not that I mind going outside. I go clubbing sometimes (for the record; going to a club, not actually clubbing people), I leave the house at least once every 2 days for groceries and other necessities. But neither of them involve actively socializing. I'm fine in doing these things on my own. If someone talks to me I won't freeze and act confused, but I might try to get it over with quickly, so I can retreat in my own mind again (even when I'm not holed up in my room).

I've dropped the charades of "acting normal" alltogether; though I guess I never had a strong orientation to act to what people expect of me anyway. I'll act the way I want to and thus far it's perfectly fine to act so and stay out of trouble. But it doesn't mean I'm well adjusted... for me it's probably just a lucky coincidence that my behavior isn't a big issue most of the time. I must add that the situations where my behavior is an issue is where other people are involved and you are actively judged on your behavior. A job would be a good example; for an employer I'm probably totally maladjusted, but for just living my life day by day I'm totally fine acting the way I do.

Before I got my AS diagnosis, I was almost diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder as well as narcissistic personality disorder because of my disinterest to interact with others and just being perfectly fine with myself. Later they realized that those might be ASD traits.

The big question on socializing and such is; why do you feel that you need to socialize more? Because others tell you to? Because that's what others do? Perhaps people should stop reflecting on what others do and just stick with what they find comfortable.
 
For me it depends on the person, or the type of people. I only like socializing with people I have things in common with, which is one of the reasons I am single. I can't relate to most of the people in my area. I am very health conscious, I'm a capitalist, I believe in the second amendment. I might be able to find someone who holds my other interests, such as comics and video games, but once they find out my views it's usually a deal breaker. I don't flaunt my views or anything, but usually it becomes an issue once they findout. With all that being said
 
Shiznown said:
For me it depends on the person, or the type of people. I only like socializing with people I have things in common with, which is one of the reasons I am single. I can't relate to most of the people in my area. I am very health conscious, I'm a capitalist, I believe in the second amendment. I might be able to find someone who holds my other interests, such as comics and video games, but once they find out my views it's usually a deal breaker. I don't flaunt my views or anything, but usually it becomes an issue once they findout.
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Well, it actually puzzles me why I would want to hang out with someone who doesn't share my views and interests.

If I were to hang out with people who are the opposite of me, I don't suspect a lot of fun and constructive talks to come from that.
 
King_Oni said:
Well, it actually puzzles me why I would want to hang out with someone who doesn't share my views and interests.

If I were to hang out with people who are the opposite of me, I don't suspect a lot of fun and constructive talks to come from that.
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Yeah that's true. My point was that, 9 out of 10 people in my area that I run into I have nothing in common with.
 
Shiznown said:
Yeah that's true. My point was that, 9 out of 10 people in my area that I run into I have nothing in common with.
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Yeah, that's why I have a handful of friends in a rather wide area, lol.

By itself it's stupid in that I would have to actually travel silly distances to be with friends so I can share something interesting. There still is the internet, but meeting someone in person might be fun every once in a while.

Heck; it's why I'm doing the long distance relationship thing. My girlfriend lives about 100 miles from me, and that is most likely because I couldn't find anyone interesting here (and I've did plenty of scouting, lol)
 
There are introverted Aspies and extroverted Aspies, and the same goes for NTs. However, those Aspies that are introverted, seem far more reclusive than introverted NTs.
Introverted NTs are often people who do in fact spend a good deal of time socializing, but who also take breaks from socializing, who take breaks in order to get some alone time as well. People who will go to parties and enjoy it, but step outside once in a while for a breather, and who will gladly spend the next day at home.
Introverted Aspies, on the other hand, may sometimes live a lifestyle like that of Lars in Lars and the Real Girl. (Apologies to those who haven't seen that. Since it's one of my favorite movies I jump at the chance to mention it) or Max in Mary and Max: the life of someone who almost completely avoids people. (Not that such extreme exclusiveness is always the case, but it seems fairly common).
I think one finds mostly introverts online, as our lack of time spent socialization often results in more time on the computer.

sorry for the lack of coherence in the wording of the above. my brain is too lazy to re-write.
 
Anti-social behaviour is behaviour that lacks consideration for others and may cause damage to the society, whether intentionally or through negligence.

So no, Asperger's doesn't make me anti-social.
 
Granta_Omega said:
Anti-social behaviour is behaviour that lacks consideration for others and may cause damage to the society, whether intentionally or through negligence.

So no, Asperger's doesn't make me anti-social.
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You're right. The word anti-social is often misused to mean solitary. But in the strict meaning of the word, it means what you described, behavior that damages society.
There's a big difference between that, and simply spending a lot of time by oneself.
 
I am an introverted person who taught himself to be extroverted to do business.

It was a Oscar winning role to make money.
 
Granta_Omega said:
Socially isolated doesn't mean antisocial. Also, I have Asperger's. Not ASSpergers.
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I can be sociable, but I do need time in between social activities to sort of 'decompress'. I don't know that we're all constantly socially isolated, we're all different, and as such can cope with different levels of social interaction.

Also, (and this is hard for me too because I'm an editor and it's in my nature), correcting the spelling there kind of came across a bit combative. The person who asked this question is, for want of a better term (I don't like the divisive 'us vs them' thing), 'one of us', and was looking for advice/input, not a lesson on spelling. We all have our own strengths, and pointing out others' mistakes doesn't always help, sometimes it just makes them feel bad.
 
Well, that's kind of the point. Someone with Asperger's typically would find it rather silly for someone to spell the word "ass" with it. This isn't South Park.
 
Granta_Omega said:
Well, that's kind of the point. Someone with Asperger's typically would find it rather silly for someone to spell the word "ass" with it. This isn't South Park.
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Hmm, I might be wrong, but given the context I'd say he's using the term assperger's as a poetic expression of frustration with his current situation (I'm saying current Kevlin, because it's temporary. Things get better with time. Remember that.) In my opinion there's nothing wrong with that; I applaud it. But I'm probably a very silly person. In one of my country's languages ASD isn't spelled ASD, it's spelled ASS. Hilarious! Among friends (and none friends, I don't care) I often refer to myself as an assburger. Life's so much better if served with a sense of humor.
I also like to think there's no such thing as a typical Aspergian, or a typical anyone. Statistics will surely prove me wrong, but still, it's not important. Everybody's different, however alike. To me that's absolutely beautiful. It breeds compassion among those who have nothing in common. The spectrum, and humanity, is analog and infinite.

Anyway, I digress. There's nothing wrong with wanting or needing to spend time, even lots of time, on your own. Some people might call it antisocial but don't worry about that. I got that comment; I also received lots of well meant advice to get out more and be among people. I tried, and wasted a lot of time being anxious and depressed because of it. It was only once I consciously decided to spend more time on my own and forget about that stuff that I began to feel better. I could actually concentrate on my own life for a change and develop a little. Being able to do that also makes me enjoy social interaction more; now when it does come along, it's not a task but something I want and like and can find joy in, as long as I'll be able to get some downtime in between, so I don't loose myself.
It does get difficult at times; I've burned a lot of bridges over time. You have to watch out not to become completely isolated. Try to find some people who understand, or can show some sympathy, for your situation; who don't mind not seeing you for a couple months, but are still happy when they do. It's important to have somewhat of a social network going. Unless you want to live like a hardcore hermit, which is ok too. But you're probably a little young for that; there are many things still to discover. Just take your time, but don't shut off completely.

Edit: burger in this county's language can also mean citizen, so if I refer to myself as an assburger, it's somewhat of a bilingual dis towards the shithole town I live in.
 
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Granta_Omega said:
Anyway, I'm getting lunch at Taco Bell instead of Burger King today. You guys ruined my appetite for burgers.
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Lol. Maybe go for a rump steak instead? ;)
(sorry, I really couldn't help it; I don't mean to spoil your appetite. *sigh* I'm such a terrible person.)
 
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