• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Diagnosed at 39 years of age

A

Alpha23

New Member
Hi everybody

I'm Timo from Germany and I've been diagnosed with Aspergers in February 2023, when I was 39 years old. Since then, almost everything has changed and keeps changing, like almost entire lack of feelings and (luckily I have to say) almost no social contacts anymore.

Not sure why I registered here, but maybe I'll find something I can relate to, who knows.

No idea if it's appropriate, but maybe "ask me anything"?

Cheers, Timo
 
Alpha23 said:
Hi everybody

I'm Timo from Germany and I've been diagnosed with Aspergers in February 2023, when I was 39 years old. Since then, almost everything has changed and keeps changing, like almost entire lack of feelings and (luckily I have to say) almost no social contacts anymore.

Not sure why I registered here, but maybe I'll find something I can relate to, who knows.

No idea if it's appropriate, but maybe "ask me anything"?

Cheers, Timo
Click to expand...

Being in about the same age bracket, though not personally diagnosed, I'd be curious to know what process you went through to decide whether to get a diagnosis and how you went about it. I'm in Australia (and not yet a citizen), and the system works completely differently, I suspect, but I'm still interested in people's journeys.
 
Hi Timo, welcome to the forum :)

Alpha23 said:
No idea if it's appropriate, but maybe "ask me anything"?
Click to expand...
can you elaborate a bit more on these changes you have experienced after getting the diagnosis? Especially the lack of feelings...

I'm sure you will find people here you can relate to :)
 
AracariKunha said:
Being in about the same age bracket, though not personally diagnosed, I'd be curious to know what process you went through to decide whether to get a diagnosis and how you went about it. I'm in Australia (and not yet a citizen), and the system works completely differently, I suspect, but I'm still interested in people's journeys.
Click to expand...
I don't think it's possible to compare our systems. I went to a special autism diagnostics psychologist. Three sittings and I had the diagnosis in my hands. Not a single person suspected it for 35 years and I had to come up with the possibility myself (masking is a hell of a mechanism).
 
kriss72 said:
Hi Timo, welcome to the forum :)


can you elaborate a bit more on these changes you have experienced after getting the diagnosis? Especially the lack of feelings...

I'm sure you will find people here you can relate to :)
Click to expand...
As I was already in a home office job then, I was able to basically just "let my brain free" so to speak. Been masking for 35 years already (I'm subtracting the early stages of development here).
I soon noticed that feelings like empathy also belonged to that masking after a while. It's complicated to explain the whole process but completely withdrawing from society and any social contacts was the only way to get enough mental space for my brain to slowly get back to its genetically pre-defined ways of being. After about nine months, pretty much all of my hobbies ceased as well - when you don't feel much at all and realize that doing something or simply not doing it makes absolutely no difference in the end, many things become entirely redundant. Like social interaction, listening to music, or watching movies.
 
Welcome!

I tend to experience something like that from time to time, and more during the pandemic. I'd call it apathy ("lack of feeling, emotion, interest, or concern about something. It is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, or passion"). It can be a side effect of isolation. Sometimes I describe it a lethargy, although that's often if my body is not feeling well.

The other way to see it is that it's also the result of alexithymia, which is common in autistics. If you combine isolation with an inability to recognize or describe emotions, I think you can get apathy.

It can be a comforting situation in the short run, but, at least for me, it's not a good thing in the long run.

Stick around the site. You'll find we're all very different yet share many traits. Ask questions.
 
1714051494903.png
 
Hi Timo, let me know if you want to chat about something country-specific - we share the same native language.
Welcome to the forum, it's a very welcoming and helpful place, and a truly great crowd.
I just want to say that feeling numb and like you don't feel anything at all and losing interest in all your hobbies can also be a sign of depression.
 
Last edited:
Hello and welcome, @Alpha23.

I hope you enjoy the forum and do find some things that you can relate to here. It can be very useful to read about all the different experiences that people here have had. Let us know if you need any help figuring things out as you settle in.
 
Alpha23 said:
Hi everybody

..., like almost entire lack of feelings and (luckily I have to say) almost no social contacts anymore.
Click to expand...
Hi and Welcome

I was struck by this bit in your post. You might want to look at something called alexithymia. Perhaps you have come across this word. It was a new one to me when I first identified it in myself.
 
AuroraBorealis said:
Hi Timo, let me know if you want to chat about something country-specific - we share the same native language.
Welcome to the forum, it's a very welcoming and helpful place, and a truly great crowd.
I just want to say that feeling numb and like you don't feel anything at all and losing interest in all your hobbies can also be a sign of depression.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I've heard that conclusion a lot - I've been in three clinics and had therapies for years, but nobody was able to pin-point what's actually different with me. Only complete isolation opened up my mind to experience how I really am after about a month.
I don't think it's being "numb", I just don't have any strong reaction to things and most times no reaction at all, especially when it comes to other people. I don't feel sad, angry or happy, but that's completely fine with me. I don't have any wish to be different and be able to feel emotions - or any wishes at all for that matter, I just go along with things and accept everything. 🤷‍♂️
 
Alexej said:
Hi and Welcome

I was struck by this bit in your post. You might want to look at something called alexithymia. Perhaps you have come across this word. It was a new one to me when I first identified it in myself.
Click to expand...
Sure, that one is new to me, but I don't really think it's that. When I think back to a time where others at least thought I had emotions, I can't see how that could even have been me. I was just mirroring what I saw, nothing more. Every display of emotion was basically a logical conclusion - somebody behaves in a particular way, so the conclusion was to show a particular reaction. That's really it.
Discarding the work of hundreds or even thousands of hours didn't evoke anything, for example when I parted with a collection I had been curating for close to seven years or deleting all personal photos I had saved. Memories don't mean anything to me - just like everything else - but I would never say that it's a sign of resignation or depression, it's just how my brain works.
 
Rodafina said:
Hello and welcome, @Alpha23.

I hope you enjoy the forum and do find some things that you can relate to here. It can be very useful to read about all the different experiences that people here have had. Let us know if you need any help figuring things out as you settle in.
Click to expand...
While that's surely well-meant, given that I'm neither able to enjoy anything at all, relate to others or be interested in anyone, this probably won't happen. ;)
 
Just as an addendum - I don't mind interacting socially with somebody like giving directions and I also have an opposite sex acquaintance, but neither do I wish I wasn't isolated, nor would I care if that acquaintance just ceased to exist. I'm simply entirely neutral towards everything and everyone, that's all.
I didn't register here because I'm seeking help or information, I'm pretty much content with my situation as a whole. See it more as some kind of openness in case somebody has questions. If I lose interest in writing, I'll simply stop without any further notice as it doesn't make any difference to me, only in which manner I spend my time.
 
@Alpha23

I have a close relative that is like you. I don't know much about her. I saw her only once because we don't live in the same country. My mother tells me she was diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder but that's all I know (my mom is on the ASD spectrum).

en.wikipedia.org

Schizoid personality disorder - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org

I wish you the best and hope you keep hanging out here.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom