twilightzone76
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Thanks Judge, you always describe things so eliquently. So, if I'm understanding correctly you know that your like for someone has turned to love because the "water" goes from cool to hot? And then sometimes hot gets overwhelming so you need to go back to cool for a while?
Do you feel anything in particular when it's hot?
Thats one way to look at it. I look at more as a one-sided obsession, whereas falling in love is not an obsession because its two sided.From what I gather, oneitis is more of a brief obsession or special interest that is superficial and does not last the way love does??
He says he loves me because he "cares what happens to me" and because he wants to do things for me (help me out financially, buy gifts, give flowers, take me to nice dinners etc.).
To me, that sounds like things you could also do or feel for a friend, so where is the differentiation?
As with pretty much everything, there's no universal way Aspies experience emotions, as we're not all the same person just because we have the same disorder.
Being in love is the most amazing feeling....I cant imagine going through life not ever experiencing it. So it sort of gives me an uncomfortable feeling being with someone knowing they will never actually feel that feeling for me
I'm capable of feeling a range of emotions at different intensities as well. Was that unclear in my post?See, that's what is so foreign to me - I feel such a range of intensity of emotions or levels of love from one person to another. Even when I think back to different relationships from my past, some I can say I didn't have much love for and another I had a tremendous amount of love for. I gauge the intensity based on the feeling it gives me inside and one in particular I can actually still feel pretty intensely years later because we really did have a deep love for each other, unlike anything I have experienced with anyone else.
That's what he says as well - he doesn't know what being in love feels like. He's 42 years old so its not like we're inexperienced individuals here. It just boggles my mind to hear someone say at that age, they don't know what it feels like to be in love. He just assumes he feels that way for someone based on his actions towards them.
Being in love is the most amazing feeling....I cant imagine going through life not ever experiencing it. So it sort of gives me an uncomfortable feeling being with someone knowing they will never actually feel that feeling for me.
Do you and your husband say the words I love you to each other regularly?
My ex has told me that he never says that to anyone first (including family) and when he's basically forced to say it because someone said it to him, he feels very uncomfortable, like he's saying it in front of an audience of 100 people.
she's made some good strides so that leads me to believe that progress can be made in that area.
When the subject was brought up a couple of years into our relationship that he rarely says I love you, he insisted that's how all relationships are...in his mind...who the heck says that all the time?!? In an attempt to prove his point he text several of his friends and family (guys) and asked them how often they tell their wife or gf and they all said everyday. He was shocked. Still didn't help him any to get the words out of his mouth though...
I must admit, I've appreciated the television series "Doc Martin", particularly in how the lead character with Aspergers Syndrome has had such a difficult time expressing his love and affection for Louisa Glasson.
It may or may not make a lot of sense to people, but it does to me. That it can be a quiet but very real struggle, and often very sad for both persons involved in such a relationship.
Doc Martin is supposed to be an Aspie? I thought he wasn't on the spectrum but has major OCD and blood phobia issues. I really like that show, funny as heck sometimes.