Cloudyday
Member
Hello,
I'm new here. I was dxd with AS late in my late 30's and I have a dual dx of AS and ADD. My sensitivities are sound and touch. My interests are fine art, writing and occasional photography.
I have a question regarding an anxiety that closes me down sometimes. I can manage my sensitivities by avoiding noisy places and crowds but my anxiety around comparing my life with the lives of those without a spectrum disorder can cause me a lot of distress.
The question I have is this:
Given that I cannot perceive the social fabric that allows people to come together as tightly knit groups then how can I compare myself with them if who and what they do is something I cannot see? It's a 'dark side of the moon question' because without having any information I feel that a comparison is pointless. If the comparison is pointless then why I am getting anxious about a comparison at all?
I'm not trying to divert responsibility from those who tortured or bullied me when I was young.
Instead I am looking for some peace of mind in a relationship with a social faculty I cannot share
and with lives I cannot properly see. Given that I have learned to distance myself from noises and crowds I need to find a way to be sure that I am not making monsters, because that is what is what happens with wild speculations based on insufficient data.
I carry feelings of resentment from when others have taken opportunities so
easily that I could not take. These regrets and losses has led to these feelings getting worse, a feeling that I am the last one in the railway station and all the trains have gone. Yet as I say this is based on my comparing my situation with the situations of people I cannot understand, which makes me think that there is a way to find a fresh view of all this and have a more peaceful middle age.
Thanking you now for your responses.
Cloudyday.
I'm new here. I was dxd with AS late in my late 30's and I have a dual dx of AS and ADD. My sensitivities are sound and touch. My interests are fine art, writing and occasional photography.
I have a question regarding an anxiety that closes me down sometimes. I can manage my sensitivities by avoiding noisy places and crowds but my anxiety around comparing my life with the lives of those without a spectrum disorder can cause me a lot of distress.
The question I have is this:
Given that I cannot perceive the social fabric that allows people to come together as tightly knit groups then how can I compare myself with them if who and what they do is something I cannot see? It's a 'dark side of the moon question' because without having any information I feel that a comparison is pointless. If the comparison is pointless then why I am getting anxious about a comparison at all?
I'm not trying to divert responsibility from those who tortured or bullied me when I was young.
Instead I am looking for some peace of mind in a relationship with a social faculty I cannot share
and with lives I cannot properly see. Given that I have learned to distance myself from noises and crowds I need to find a way to be sure that I am not making monsters, because that is what is what happens with wild speculations based on insufficient data.
I carry feelings of resentment from when others have taken opportunities so
easily that I could not take. These regrets and losses has led to these feelings getting worse, a feeling that I am the last one in the railway station and all the trains have gone. Yet as I say this is based on my comparing my situation with the situations of people I cannot understand, which makes me think that there is a way to find a fresh view of all this and have a more peaceful middle age.
Thanking you now for your responses.
Cloudyday.