I was raised in a conservative fundamentalist christian cult and it did a lot of damage to me on multiple levels, more than to other youth because of my susceptibility and immaturity. They knew I was different, a "problem child", my mum's parenting skills were judged by women in the church and my dad's position of responsibility in the church and at home was questioned because i was not "normal".
From about 12 years old I started struggling to make the logical connection between faith and reality leading to years of confusion, frustration and wearing a christian mask, even intentionally lying about my relationship with god, jesus and the holy spirit to "save face" for my parents so they would stop harrassing me and judging them. Eventually I chose Nature as my teacher, saviour and sanctuary.
Throughout my teens and 20s I tried very hard to conform, trying different churches from different branches of christianity and levels of progress and modern thinking, a year of bible college, a missionary and years with a christian theatre troupe but my antiauthoritarian and feminist nature grew stronger with every unloving, elitist, judging, guilt-tripping, hypocritical action and teaching i witnessed and confronted. I was excommunicated from a pentecostel church (which i had become very active in because I felt accepted) when i questioned the teachings of the pastor which were basically demanding reform and conformity so the church can use my special gifts for god. If I didn't I was a servant of the devil. I didn't want to conform or let the church control my gifts (including but not limited to the extra sensory spectrum stuff that NTs want and can't have) which, according to the pastor in the sermon and later in a private conversation, made me a witch and unwelcome.
I left all that behind almost 2 decades ago but god, jesus, the bible, etc, are still trauma relapse triggers. I'm shaking as I write this.
I know it helps a lot of people to be part of a group that accepts them, especially youth groups and for people living alone in a city or new to a small regional town. If church is an activity someone on the spectrum chooses to participate in as an adult or choose to continue through from childhood to adulthood then I advise they choose carefully which brand of church they attend because there are a lot of harmful mainstream churches who will still try healing you of autism and call comorbid mental illnesses like depression, PTSD, anxiety, etc, weaknesses in faith or demon possession.
Be careful when you choose a deity or church and have the courage to leave if they make you uncomfortable, feel less than whole or suggest you stop taking meds or attending therapy without consulting your doctor first. Church is not a care plan but can help as a complimentary therapy if you don't mind people.
Christianity or going to church is not for everyone so don't feel disappointed if it doesn't work for you. Communes and cave hermitages don't work for everyone either. You can choose any faith or philosophy that doesn't contradict your soul and worship wherever you fell comfortable.
Remember LOVE surpasses all religion and should guide our behaviour and thoughts.
