Can you ask for help with anything?

[Pats]

The support question made me think of this because under no circumstances am I able to ask anyone for help or for a favor or anything. I would probably lay here and die before I could calls someone to help me. Part of the reason I have so many back problems now is because all my years in nursing. I would help anyone else pulling someone up in bed, picking someone off the floor, moving them from bed to wheelchair, but I wouldn't ask for help for myself, I'd just do what I could to do it myself.

I'm still that way. I have turned my apartment into an apartment, starting out as a basement/garage. My son did build a nice big bathroom and replace the garage door with French doors. Other than that I put down the floor, textured and painted all the walls, some wall paper, molding, ceiling, even hung small cabinets on the wall for my kitchen. (Oh he also installed the kitchen sink). They always fuss and say one of the boys could have helped. I'm not skilled and have fallen off ladders, hit myself in the head with a hammer and poked my eye with a screwdriver, but it's easier and better than asking for help.

Asking for help is as difficult as accepting a compliment. Just don't know how to do either and can not get myself to ask. And, yes, even when injured I can not ask for help. I just figure out a way to do it myself. It seems dumb, but I've cut myself accidently while at work and try to get to the bathroom to wrap it up before anyone sees, but someone always tends to follow the blood drops and finds me. I'm fine - go away.

I've never been able to scream either. Like scream for help - can't do it.

 

[tree]

How are you at requesting help for others?

Do you do that?

 

[Pats]

How are you at requesting help for others?

Do you do that?

Not in general - I try to help them myself. The one time I asked for help for someone else was a couple months ago. I asked my son if he could possibly go check the electrical receptacles in the house my daughter was renting from my brother because they were getting hot, even when not in use and some had smoke marks on them and it was endangering my daughter and her family and my brother refused to do anything. My son bought the supplies and paid his help and they got it fixed. There was never even a thank you from my brother. I offered to pay the costs but my son said he did it because it was family and he was glad to do it.
So I guess maybe if it were a danger or life and death for someone else. More than I would do for myself.

 

[the_tortoise]

I struggle to ask for help sometimes because I'm not sure (or literally can't think of any) of the words to ask for what I want/need.

Other times I struggle because I'm not sure (or have no idea) what it is that would help, only that I'm struggling -- so I don't even know what to ask for, let alone what words I might use.

Sometimes it just never occurs to me that asking for help is a thing that I could do in whatever situation I'm facing.

When none of those things are a problem, what's left is my stubborn independent streak and/or lack of trust in nearly everyone (too many people have hurt me and/or made things worse/harder/more work in their attempts to "help' me throughout my life).

I do ask for help and accept help, though....I just avoid it whenever possible, and have struggles with it (to varying degrees and in various ways).

 

[Bolletje]

I can request help from others, but I generally choose not to. I want to find my own answers and solutions as much as possible, because it’s how I learn. I don’t hesitate to ask for help if the situation requires it though. I have no trouble admitting I’m out of my depth.

 

[Progster]

I can request help from others, but I generally choose not to. I want to find my own answers and solutions as much as possible, because it’s how I learn. I don’t hesitate to ask for help if the situation requires it though. I have no trouble admitting I’m out of my depth.

I am the same. I always try to find a solution on my own first and asking for help is a last resort.

When I do need help, sometimes I'm ok with asking for it, sometimes I'm not, it depends on the person and the situation. I find it extremely difficult to approach strangers to ask for help with, for example, directions.

 

[DCA]

Asking for help from other people is something I struggle with as well. Sometimes I just don't know or not sure how to do so, sometimes it's a feeling like I am "bothering" them. And sometimes its because I need to figure it out myself.

 

[Suzanne]

Not one little bit am I able to ask for anything. Ok, that is not strictly true, because I do ask my husband many times for things. But, outside of that, no.

I ventured a few times and always turned out negative.

Yes, I would probably die, because of not being able to ask for help.

 

[Mr Allen]

I'm always asking for help with stuff, because there's a lot of stuff I can't do myself.

 

[Bella Pines]

The only reason that I never ask for help is that the cost is often too high. I didn't ask for a loan from my in-laws when I had financial difficulties because I knew they would hold it over my head. I didn't ask for help when I was stressed out with a new baby because no one would care for him to the same degree that I did. So it's not me... it's them!