1. Welcome to Aspies Central, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Featured Can someone please help

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Maria6681, Dec 19, 2016.

  1. Maria6681

    Maria6681 Morning

    Messages:
    65
    Karma:
    +99
    Hi I am 35 years old my hol life had been a complete **** up in one way or a other. I have always try to get help with my mental health. But they never really know what to do with me. But 2 years ago I got diagnosis of being high functioning autism. But since I got it I have try real hard to find the right help. I am sick of haveing no friends I don't even have family around i have no social life don't really come out of my house. I just exist always looking out on society wishing I could be apart of it. Befor I die I really want to experience some kind of life and to achieve something and be happy to be here. I really need things to change desperately. I am so scared when my 2 boys leave home there will be no point. I have been fighting for about 30 years now to survive. I really hope someone can point me in the right dereliction where I can get the right support and help I need to change things
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 5
    • Agree Agree x 2
  2. Caitie33

    Caitie33 Member

    Messages:
    44
    Karma:
    +68
    Hi Maria. Our experiences sound similar. I am 33, not officially diagnosed but I gave up on going to psychologists, the furthest I've ever gotten there are some meds for my depression. I've never found any real help on why I'm depressed, which is because I've been an outcast my whole life and I'm lonely is the main reason. I've even brought up aspergers in therapy and its like if your good enough at coping and acting "normal" or if they don't discover it they just dismiss it or act like its some kind of hypochondria because your self diagnosing. I've been trying to figure out how to change things for as long as I can remember. I think finding this forum is a step in the right direction. For me just knowing there are other people who feel just the way I do helps. After a lifetime of feeling different than everyone its nice just to read through peoples posts and think, ah yes I feel exactly the same way about that... It is so hard to make friends, I've even pathetically told a few people that I need friends thinking they may be one, it never turns out that way. As if admitting your lonely gives people more reason to leave you alone. I'm hoping to meet some people on this site and make some friends, even if its online its better than no interaction at all. Plus no one on here is going to judge you for being "off". Message me any time, I have no good advice probably as it sounds like we are both lost but I'll be your friend.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  3. Maria6681

    Maria6681 Morning

    Messages:
    65
    Karma:
    +99
    My up bring was traumatic so I had mental health issues since then and been on antidepressants since I was 14 years old where I was in the care system for years the mental health just keep saying that I had was suffering from depression as a result of my childhood to keep taking the pills they never really had any effect on me. But I new there was more to as my sister did not struggle in the way I did. I was kone as a disruptive and really bad behaviour as I did not know how to talk or interact with people. I keep going back to the doctors and mental health eventually put me on different medication witch has helped a lot. my doctor suggested that I might have autism so he referred me but took years to actually get it done but thought I would get the right help. So my mental health is better. But if things don't change I will end up back at Square 1
     
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  4. Southern Discomfort

    Southern Discomfort Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    925
    Karma:
    +999
    I'm always a fan of the idea of being stronger together; look for groups set up for autistic people in your area with charities. They can offer you a chance to socialise and to find help that is tailored to your condition.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
  5. toothless

    toothless autism & ID activist V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    584
    Karma:
    +747
    i just want to second southern discomforts post, what country and area do you live in maria?
    we might be able to help you from our own knowledge and experience with various services,many of them are free or of little cost like social clubs for people with ASDs.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Maria6681

    Maria6681 Morning

    Messages:
    65
    Karma:
    +99
    I am from sw London. I have try to find organisation I made many attempts
     
  7. Southern Discomfort

    Southern Discomfort Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    925
    Karma:
    +999
    Although it would probably be on their website, try ringing the National Autistic Society, they might know more for your area. I have three groups not too far from me here in Dorset, it would be hard to believe that there is not one for you in south west London.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Maria6681

    Maria6681 Morning

    Messages:
    65
    Karma:
    +99
    Someone get back to me today. I have to get a assessment to see if I can get Personal budget to access the services. Not sure how that works but so happy that thing might start to change. But thanks for the reply
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  9. Grandmother B

    Grandmother B New Member

    Messages:
    22
    Karma:
    +20
    Please go to www.aspergerexperts.com. I promise there is a lot there to help you. Best of luck, sweet lady!
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Grenade

    Grenade New Member

    Messages:
    13
    Karma:
    +7
    Hey, Maria6681,
    I just recently realized I have Asperger's (HFA). I have found that to have purpose is the best help for me. Is there someone you can help? Even if it is with people online. Is there some small thing that you can do for someone even if it is simple, like making sure newspapers in the neighborhood get all the way up onto the porches (I am trying to think of something to do that still allows you to operate as close to your comfort zone as possible). If you can get out of the house, maybe visit an old folks home. Elderly people are so happy for visits that they don't care or notice that we are a little different. If promising to come back on certain days is too much for you, just go when you can. If it is possible for you to get a cat, I highly recomnend it. If you need the stimulus of a more needy animal, maybe a dog would be better. If you cannot get a dog, you could always walk other people's dogs. It is always goid to be busy with something, preferably on a schedule.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. AspieSam

    AspieSam Disability Advocate and Sensory expert V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    179
    Karma:
    +43
    Hi Maria! I'm a 35 year old single Aspie who was on here a couple years ago and am just coming back. I'm now a certified health coach who helps people both through my free blogs. And other ways as well. Some of those ways are through client relationships that require payment.

    I've known about many of my special needs most of my life. I am a diagnosed Aspie now. I discovered it as a pre-teen however. I'm very active on face-book. Are You?
    Anyway, I like everyone else's answers. I honestly much prefer the right dog over any cat. And have seen dogs as a much better choice for us.

    I'd share my blogs but, I'm not allowed. PM me here for more details, to say HI! or with any questions.

    I hope to hear from you!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  12. Clintos

    Clintos Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    114
    Karma:
    +99
    Me and you are identically alike. The benefit you have is that you have your boys. I wish I had some answer for you, all I can say is to buy maybe a book on cognitive behavioral therepy, it seems to help me.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Grenade

    Grenade New Member

    Messages:
    13
    Karma:
    +7
    :)
     
  14. nowwhat

    nowwhat Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    706
    Karma:
    +726
    Maria, please feel free to share here often. You will be much better understood here than out in the world, and we have genuine compassion for your struggle. Life will continue to be difficult, but it's nice for me to come in here and read about people like myself. At work, day to day, I feel completely isolated and alone, outcast. You all here are my people. I hope that is some help and comfort to you, Maria as you struggle to cope with life.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  15. Maria6681

    Maria6681 Morning

    Messages:
    65
    Karma:
    +99
    I have thought about volunteer work but talk myself out of it I have 2 dogs I don't wake them as they are crazy dogs lol
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  16. Clintos

    Clintos Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    114
    Karma:
    +99
    I have 1 lazy cat, I can't imagine having 2 crazy dogs, lol.
     
  17. Maria6681

    Maria6681 Morning

    Messages:
    65
    Karma:
    +99
    It kinder funny I can not kiss or hug my boy but I can show love to my dog that a it weird
     
  18. Clintos

    Clintos Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    114
    Karma:
    +99
    I think we are afraid of their reactions. Animals are more predictable
     
  19. Caitie33

    Caitie33 Member

    Messages:
    44
    Karma:
    +68
    The only person I can hug without it feeling awkward is my son. It's strange how social interaction makes us uncomfortable but at the same time we are so desperate to have any sometimes.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  20. Maria6681

    Maria6681 Morning

    Messages:
    65
    Karma:
    +99
    Yes that is so true. It would make it so easy if we did not want it. And the we would not be bothered about trying and actually get people to accept as for who we are. And be happy with the way are life can be so lonely. Things would not be so hard