Autism and schizoaffective

[Chris12345]

I was recently diagnosed with autism (age 39). I also have schizoaffective disorder, was diagnosed with that in my late twenties.

My experience is that I feel very weary, lacking in enthusiasm. I think this has more to do with the schizoaffective. I have self-esteem problems too, in the sense of trying to find value in myself and meaning in my life.

I struggle with isolation, trying to find social outlets and make friends. I've started going to a place in Edinburgh (called No. 6) since I was diagnosed. I haven't worked for years, I just don't have the energy.

My interests include philosophy, psychology, spirituality and politics.

I would be interested to hear from anyone who can relate to my story, especially those who have both autism and schizoaffective.

 

[marc_101]

Welcome! I'm not very familiar with schizoaffective disorder but I'm sure that you'll find good people here.

 

[Chris12345]

Thanks for your response. Schizoaffective disorder is a mental illness that has various symptoms. In my experience the worst of it is what are called 'negative symptoms' which effect motivation, energy and enthusiasm. No much has been developed in terms of medication to help with that side of the illness.

I read somewhere that if you have autism you're three times more likely to have schizoaffective than if you don't. So I won't be the only one with this combination, though whether there are any others on this forum, I don't know.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My older brother was on the spectrum had a mental disorder diagnosed by my dads cousin a child psychiatrist. not sure what it was.

 

[Aspychata]

What does a typical day look like for you? Are you able to understand and work thru feelings? This has been really helping me. Realizing l don't have the physical energy, and only getting chores done when l have a good day.

 

[Chris12345]

A typical day usually involves going to the local cafe with a book. Reading is the thing I do to pass the time. I see my mum at some point most days for a walk or coffee. I've been going to the autism centre in Edinburgh a couple of times a week and go to a mental health support group on Friday evening. The cinema at the weekend. I'm thinking of starting a course in October with the open university, but it's whether I have the energy to complete it.

I can understand and work through feelings. I do that at the mental health support group and by talking to my mum. Also lately posting on a mental health forum.

Some days I can get more done than others. My energy fluctuates and so does my mood. But, as I mentioned above, internally, emotionally, I feel very flat and lacking in enthusiasm on a daily basis. This is despite the fact that I would really like to have more energy and enthusiasm.

One piece of advice I got on another forum was: don't be too hard on yourself. I think that's good advice because I'm my own worst critic and feel I should be able to do as much as anyone else despite these problems I have.

 

[Fino]

Seems like energy, motivation, and enthusiasm could be improved by a lot of medications, most likely ones like Wellbutrin and stimulants.

 

[Chris12345]

I'm on a stimulant at the moment, modafinal. It may help a little. I've tried numerous antidepressants but without any success

 

[Rodafina]

One piece of advice I got on another forum was: don't be too hard on yourself. I think that's good advice because I'm my own worst critic and feel I should be able to do as much as anyone else despite these problems I have.

I think this is good advice. Listening to that overly critical voice in your head will certainly not help build motivation, energy, and enthusiasm for continuing to do things you want to do. There is great freedom that can come from full self acceptance. Knowing your limitations can allow you to form a plan for how you best function. These challenges that you described may be able to be overcome by doing things a different way rather than not doing things at all. Truly knowing yourself and accepting how you function can give you the information that you need to make this plan.

In my experience the worst of it is what are called 'negative symptoms' which effect motivation, energy and enthusiasm. No much has been developed in terms of medication to help with that side of the illness.

Sometimes mental health conditions overlap and what you've described here includes some hallmarks of depression for which there is a huge array of medications available. Have you ever discussed depression with your mental health provider? Medication is not the only answer to treating depression, but maybe if you looked into treatment for depression you would learn some useful things that could help with some of the problems you described.

 

[Chris12345]

Depression is part of schizoaffective. My previous psychiatrist thought it was my main problem; my current one puts more emphasis on 'negative symptoms'.

It's difficult to tell the difference between the two because they present similarly. It may be that both play a part. As I mentioned, I've been on numerous antidepressants, but without success. I'm supposed to be going on a new antidepressant but there's a supply problem so I haven't started (I forget the name).

I try my best to have a good attitude and get out as much as possible. I've benefited from the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, whose books I've read numerous times. But it's difficult because I feel so drained and depleted. I fight it but it's a uphill battle really.

 

[marc_101]

How about your physical health? Are you eating well? Have all the nutrients? Exposed to light? Regular exercise?

I ask because I'm one of those people who has problems naming/recognizing feelings and separating physical from mental symptoms. They "feel" the same to me. Many times I have a physical issue, like low iron, but I think it's a mental issue -- and vice versa.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Hi @Chris12345, that advice about self-acceptance is excellent, but also more of a long-term life goal. Don't beat yourself up if you don't manage to "accept yourself" within a week (just an example). Things like that are a lifelong project. But it would surely be a very valuable goal to work on with your therapist (if you have one).

I only know about schizoaffective disorder from the professional side. During an internship in psychiatry, I got to know a girl with both schizoaffective disorder and autism. However, it was the closed ward, and she was in a manic/psychotic phase. Not very representative to your daily life, I assume. I got a glimpse at the difficulty with medications, especially for this disorder. I'm sorry you suffer from it, and I hope that you will meet some nice people here. It's a really great community.

 

[Chris12345]

My diet is okay. I just make an oven meal for dinner, because I don't have the energy for anything more. So it could be better and could be worse. I get exercise (walking) and enough light.

I don't have any physical health problems but when I say I feel drained/depleted it does feel physical in a way - it goes through my body. It's hard to explain the feeling.

In response to the other post, I've had psychosis as part of this condition, but the medication is effective with that, so it doesn't impact my life now. I have a mild form of mania occasionally, where I might stay up half the night and get a lot of ideas (to do with things I'm interested in). That's a minor issue really, in my case.

I agree with you that working on self-acceptance is not easy. Accepting limitations is one of the hardest things. It's a balance between not being too hard on yourself and still trying to achieve something. I don't want to get to the end of my life and feel I haven't made any kind of positive impact.

I appreciate all the responses on this forum.