Aspergers and Driving

[WildCat]

I enjoy it now, and unfortunately it's a necessary evil around here. Everything I need (right along with my place of work) is usually several miles away, so it's a great privilege to have, and it's one of the few times I can vent my anger in peace due to various combinations of idiots and the impatient all sharing the same space. I started in my early 20s...most people I know started in their late teens so no big deal.

It's not for everyone - some are going to struggle to learn (my younger sister as an example, who's not on the spectrum), some need to go through several trials of lessons and practice first, others like myself (who are on the spectrum) pick it up right away - and it does come with its share of great responsibility and annoyances, but more power to you if you're a law-abiding, safe-driving citizen.

 

[Aeolienne]

I've already written about my experiences of driving in another thread:
Aspies and driving lessons?
No idea if anyone has actually read it.

 

[Vanessa32]

I live in Michigan, historical home of the United States auto industry and so NOT a place that has very good public transportation anywhere, even in the bigger cities. So driving is really not something you can easily opt out of here.

I had to take some extra drivers education classes after I accidentally side-swiped a parallel parked car during a lesson. it was at the end of a zig-zag in the road that I misjudged.

Besides that, I have mostly been able to avoid getting in accidents, except for a couple of times when it was snowing heavily as it sometimes tends to in Michigan winter.

I do have a hard time dealing with driving when conditions are not the best. One example is bad weather such as mentioned above-snow, ice, heavy rain and so on. Construction zones can be very stressful for me, and just last weekend caused me to miss out on an event I wanted to attend in a city about an hour from where I live and work.

Roundabouts are horrible. One time, I pulled up to one and the crossing traffic was not even slowing down. Then some macho jackass pulls up behind me and starts honking and swearing. What was I supposed to do??

In general, other drivers and their unpredictability can stress me out. Either they are going to slow and I get restless, or they start tailgating me and I feel bullied. On American-style expressways, I have a hard time judging the timing when someone is merging onto the expressway from an on-ramp. Sometimes I try to slow down to let them in, and they do not speed up enough and so I have to either speed up and try to pass them, or keep slowing down which then can result in drivers behind me having to slow down and possibly get upset with me.

Making a left turn out of a parking lot, if there is not a traffic light, is something I always try to avoid, as it is easy to get stuck waiting for both directions of traffic to be clear and I am not always good at judging if I can make it or not.

Also, any kind of obscure situations stress me out. For example, not too long ago I was on a non-expressway divided road. I needed to turn left onto a crossing street, and pulled up to a red light. I am pretty sure that it would have been illegal for me to go straight ahead through the red, so I waited for the light to turn green. Before it turned green, people behind me who I assume wanted to turn left onto the opposite direction of the road I was trying to turn off of started honking. It may be that I could have gone straight ahead through the red, but I did not want to take a chance. And then I was angry and felt insulted and bullied by the other drivers honking at me.

A good deal of the time, I can drive where I need to with no major problems, but there are just enough of the above examples and others that I also do not always look forward to having to drive.

 

[Questella]

It seems a good majority of people really suck when they drive. They seem to operate on the idea that everybody else will be paying attention to them.

I had a couple near close calls today. I pay attention like no other because **** getting hit.

One somebody started to come over into my lane when I was still right next to them, they were either just assuming I would move out of the way (which of course I did) or paying zero attention.

Another somebody started pulling out before I had passed them they were making a left turn onto the road I was on and when I passed them they were literately inches from me (at most a food) to pull out I guess only inches behind me, like they couldn't of just waited a few extra seconds, they must of very nearly missed ripping the mirror off of my dads car. I saw the whole thing out of my peripherals, luckily I was almost home or I would of needed to pull over as I was so wtf I was near anxiety attack.

And those people on the interstate that have to ride your bumper so close that you can't even see the front of their car anymore. Or the ones that pull over right in front of you to where you have to slam the breaks on the interstate rather than be a foot from them... why are people so f-ing stupid?

I don't know how there are not constantly accidents on every inch of road all the time.

 

[Vanessa32]

Changing lanes is another thing that is difficult for me. I will check my mirrors, turn my head, but somehow in the split second between that and me trying to change lanes, someone will end up in the lane I am trying to move into. it does not happen often, but has happened often enough that I am extra careful when changing lanes and try to avoid it as much as possible.

 

[Jet Weiss]

I'm 18 and only have my driver's permit, not yet licensed.
Cars scare me. I think this is due to the fact that my dad had some drunk driving incidents and drove 100mph on the highway.
I am not really interested in driving, being in the car with someone else makes me nervous, never mind driving a car myself.

 

[Sherlock77]

I love driving! I have a small car, not a performance model but I insist that it has to be a stick shift, no automatic transmission for this guy if I can help it.

I feel that being an Aspie contributes to me being a good driver, whenever I drive I focus on driving, I can easily leave my smart phone alone while driving unlike many people I know.

I drive lots in the big city, drive to work everyday. I often do highway driving, I prefer back highways that have less traffic only because it makes driving more enjoyable, I can drive freeways just as well.

And sometimes I'll clock lots of highway miles in search of that perfect photo opportunity on my epic photo trips, recently I drove 1000 km in two days on the Canadian prairies, a couple of years ago I drove 2,500 km over six days on the prairies.

Although I did come to driving a little late, when I was 23, and I've had a clean driving record for over 20 years.

One photo of my car during an exploration of rural Saskatchewan, I do "car selfies" when I do road trips.

 

[Questella]

Changing lanes is another thing that is difficult for me. I will check my mirrors, turn my head, but somehow in the split second between that and me trying to change lanes, someone will end up in the lane I am trying to move into. it does not happen often, but has happened often enough that I am extra careful when changing lanes and try to avoid it as much as possible.

People will fly up on you. >: Might be what happened. Has happened to me, I really, really watch where I'm moving too for people that do this.

 

[Sherlock77]

I've already written about my experiences of driving in another thread:
Aspies and driving lessons?
No idea if anyone has actually read it.

I just read it! I can't directly relate (as I love driving) but can understand what you said.

One co-worker of mine who has anxiety issues has chosen not to drive because of that, and that's here in Canada where most people have cars. I also know that car ownership is less common in the U.K. and Europe compared to here in North America due to the tax situation and better public transit.

 

[Lady Penelope]

I had no desire to get my permit at 16 and it wasn't until I was 19 that I actually start looking into this whole 'driving' phenomenon.

I passed my test first time but when I went home and asked Mum if I could drive to the shops she said "you'll need a few more lessons first" ... I was confused... didn't I get get my license?
Moved out shortly after that and didn't have a need for a car. I haven't driven since I sat the test. I'm 35. Yesterday I went go-karting and thought I'd crash for sure. I was the only girl and although I didn't win, I did spin out cornering too fast perhaps I should revisit this whole driving thing afterall...

 

[Katleya]

I was looking forward to the freedom of having my own car and driving.
I tried to learn to drive when I was 25, and that was a complete disaster. I couldn't even pass the first test because I kept on overthinking the questions.
I tried again 5 years later, this time coaching myself into not trying too hard to dissect the question and choices of answer. I passed the test on my first attempt, but barely (I'm still surprised I got that far).

And then came the driving lessons. Haha. I had a terrible instructor the first few times, but I was able to get another one, who was calmer, more patient, better at explaining & gentler.
That being said, there was nothing she could do about my "unique" proprioception. 70 hours spent practicing driving together, and I still couldn't keep a trajectory. She has had to pull the brakes on the car countless times, because I can't focus on the road + the signs + the side of the road + the mirrors + the speed limits + the noise + people + other cars. Too much information, too little time to process it. At this point, and seeing how acutely this manifests, there is no way I can reach even a mediocre level.

Sure, if I ever were granted a licence (not that this is going to happen), you can be sure I would be following the rules, all of the rules. But I would still be a danger on wheels, running into the curb, driving past red lights, bumping into other cars, all because I can't use my focus properly.

 

[artfull dodger]

I made it thru the written tests just fine, but had horrible anxiety when it came to the driving test. Thankfully I got an older lady that was old enough to be my grandmother. She was really nice, had to help her up into our family's van! Dad had forgot about when my driving test was and took our family's small car to work and left mom and I with the huge Chevy van we traveled in. I managed to pass the driving test, but I was really reclusive the rest of the day. This was all long before my diagnosis. Only now, looking back, do I understand how I felt back then and why. Thru the years, have had issues with road rage, which I now know as mini meltdowns. I would fly "the bird" and cuss people out for poor driving. These days with folks pulling guns and such, I thankfully am able to better cope and just mutter my displeasure under my breath instead of melting down on someone. These days I prefer to ride my motor scooter over driving my pickup truck. Instead of taking the busy express way and main roads, I take side streets and the scenic routes instead. Its more enjoyable, might take a few min longer, but I am much more relaxed. Unfortunatly, I live where it gets quite cold, so I am stuck driving my pickup truck a few months of the year. Mike

 

[Kisa the tea]

I had taken the test and received my liscence but i haven't driven anything since then. Mostly i just walk or use buses. Driving was a big nerve on my anxiety before and it's something with too much rage and anger surrounding it imo

 

[Sashi]

If I could get someone to chauffeur me around, the local hi-ways and bi-ways would be much safer.

I don’t think fast enough to make judgments on the spot. That puts me at a disadvantage behind the wheel. I don’t have the luxury of time to process whether I should slow it down, speed it up, or hit the brake. I compensate by driving less. That’s manageable since my job assignments as a substitute teacher’s aide are usually no more than five miles away. As far as driving after dark, I will do so, but if beyond my immediate neighborhood, it would have to be a 9-11 type emergency.

I recall a Thanksgiving day five or so years ago that I had spent by myself. One of the few stores opened was a drug store. There was a road to turn into before reaching the parking lot. When I left the store, I drove onto the road and stopped at the stop light at the intersection. Across from me was a police car waiting and after a minute or so, the officer turned on his lights and came across the intersection. He stopped by ME! I thought, “What in the world! I’m just stopped waiting for the light to turn!”

The first thing he asked when he approached me was if I knew why he was there or what was wrong. I told him I had no idea. That’s when he did something to do this day I cannot forget: he bent over laughing. He may have been 20 years younger than me, but at that moment, I felt like I was 10.

Then he pointed out my mistake. I was not on a two-way road leading from the intersection to the drug store. It was a one-way for those entering to go to the drug store. The road across the median to my right was the road I should have been on to get back on the main highway. I did have the excuse of it not being in my neighborhood and it being after dark. He did not give me a ticket which I was grateful for. He let me make a u-turn to make things right.

I did have a good cry. Not only over my mistake, but the laughing too. The sight of him bending over in laughter is etched in my memory, perhaps forever. I just wish he had politely explained what I did wrong and after I was out of sight, then laughed his head off.

Taxis are not a viable option. For one thing, I couldn’t afford a taxi for every time I needed to go somewhere. And another is the thought of riding around with a total stranger gives me some anxiety. Lastly, I’ve had taxi rides with drivers who were worse behind the wheel than me.

 

[Bolletje]

I'm scared of driving. I had a few lessons when I turned 18 but ran out of money, and I've been broke ever since. I might have to get my license though, because I'm getting a job that requires me to work in shifts at hours when public transportation isn't in operation. I really don't want to, though. The road to and from that place has the highest rate of car accidents in the country.

 

[Tyrantus1212]

I did not drive regularly until I was 27 - and even now I do very limited driving, never using freeways, because that's where a serious accident is more likely to occur. My parents used to always take me everywhere. As for myself, the possibility of accidentally hitting a pedestrian without noticing or simply causing an accident/risking making new enemies always brought fear into my soul. I've been in a fair share of auto accidents as a passenger. As a passenger I used to always tell my parents to not take the actual freeway, but the feeder road if possible. Luckily my mother fears freeways too (but not driving). Everyone else that I know has been driving for years, even people younger than myself.

 

[Pariah Dog]

It seems I am against the grain here but I love driving.

I came from a family that had interest in hot rods, muscle cars and auto racing. Before I could drive I used to play computer racing simulations with a passion. I got my license when I was 16. Got my motorcycle license at 21. Always felt comfortable driving and have always been good at it. Have a natural inclination how to handle a car, say if it were to slide out of control or something. I am 31 years old now, have driven more than 600,000 km (427,000 of that just on one car) and have never had an at fault accident. I've had some geniuses rear end me a few times. 2 were texting and driving, an another time I was stopped at a red light and a woman didn't account for icy conditions.

Like sherlock77 they will have to take the stick shift from my cold dead hands. Unfortunately the truck I drive every work day for my job as a building mechanical systems technician has an automatic transmission. That can't very well be avoided anymore.

 

[Tyrantus1212]

I still have hit and run OCD; each time I hear any sort of "bump" sound I start panicking, wondering if it was a person; same goes for when I hear someone yelling or screaming. I start listening for any sirens, and later on I start researching to see if there are any local accident reports online. I also watch for any local news on TV, all while I half-expect the cops to show up at my doorstep any moment. Later on however, I calm down whenever I remember my doc's anti-anxiety tactic. It was worse before I started seeing him. When I brought this up to him, he told me to keep in mind that there is no evidence of any pedestrian being there; to think in terms of "what IS" instead of "what IF". To that, I also added in the fact that the roads are always bumpy, and it was just an under-the-car bump sound with no impact felt at the front of the car.

The fear of possibly killing or maiming someone with the car, and the prospect of being convicted with hit and run felony and being sent to prison is just too much for me to handle, and it's been the main reason why I haven't been driving for such a long time. Still, I had to start someday, and it was at the age of 27 - when my mother couldn't drive me to work because of a broken joint in her foot. I drove several days in a row, luckily living close to work - and it all just continued on from there. I already had some driving experience, as well as a license; I just didn't drive regularly before that time. Eventually I started driving to farther locations, but I still do it in a very limited way; the hit & run OCD never left me.

 

[Sherlock77]

It seems I am against the grain here but I love driving.

I came from a family that had interest in hot rods, muscle cars and auto racing. Before I could drive I used to play computer racing simulations with a passion. I got my license when I was 16. Got my motorcycle license at 21. Always felt comfortable driving and have always been good at it. Have a natural inclination how to handle a car, say if it were to slide out of control or something. I am 31 years old now, have driven more than 600,000 km (427,000 of that just on one car) and have never had an at fault accident. I've had some geniuses rear end me a few times. 2 were texting and driving, an another time I was stopped at a red light and a woman didn't account for icy conditions.

Like sherlock77 they will have to take the stick shift from my cold dead hands. Unfortunately the truck I drive every work day for my job as a building mechanical systems technician has an automatic transmission. That can't very well be avoided anymore.

Speaking of trucks, I'll assume you just drive a pickup. Was talking to a friend at cruise night last night, he has a great hot rod, apparently also has a drag racer and wants to buy a new pickup as a tow vehicle, that is standard transmission. Apparently Ford and Chevrolet no longer sell pickups with a stick shift, Dodge will supposedly sell one still, but no one seems to want to actually sell him what is listed in their catalogue.

 

[Pariah Dog]

Speaking of trucks, I'll assume you just drive a pickup. Was talking to a friend at cruise night last night, he has a great hot rod, apparently also has a drag racer and wants to buy a new pickup as a tow vehicle, that is standard transmission. Apparently Ford and Chevrolet no longer sell pickups with a stick shift, Dodge will supposedly sell one still, but no one seems to want to actually sell him what is listed in their catalogue.

So funny you mention about the manual truck as I was just looking it up last night. According to Ram's Canadian site you can get a manual transmission in a Ram 2500 or higher with the Diesel engine only. Limited choice but I think it's cool they offer at all. Dealers will order you a vehicle if you harass them long enough.

I drive a Ford F-350 for work. It would be so much more interesting to drive with a stick shift. Since your friend obviously has vehicle building skills, he could pick up a classic truck from the desert regions of the USA where nothing ever rusts. Maybe swap the engine to someting modern... ideas are endless. I though if I ever move up to a "boss" position in my company (which is a direction I seem to be heading in time) and don't need a truck to be doing work that will get it beat up, I would like to have a classic panel truck as my company vehicle. The owners of my company pretty much just use their trucks to roll their butts around in, meet customers, and occasionally deliver a special tool or required piece of equipment to a job site.