Another Attempt to Join a Forum

[Benjamin Dover]

Didn't see anything. Oh well, I tried. I'll see if I can find a forum that is more specific to Asperger's, where I can actually access the Asperger's section of the site.

Thank you for trying, and best of luck.

 

[Benjamin Dover]

Why would anyone find the above post to be "funny?"

 

[tree]

I am not at all sure what you mean by more specific to Asperger's.
This site is an autism/asperger's forum.

You should be able to access any of these areas, including Poli/Rel if you have Enabled it
in your Profile. You wouldn't be able to view the V.I.P. area unless you were a V.I.P. member.

If you have submitted a resource or a Blog entry, there is a minor wait time
for that to be approved, but other than those, I think you're able to post in
any thread.

 

[Benjamin Dover]

What I mean is the "Asperger's Discussions" area is off-limits, and I have to post in another area that does not fall under that label.

There are confusing things here, and I'm starting to have regrets. Sorry for the bother.

 

[tree]

Give me a link to this "Asperger's Discussions" area.
It may just be an obsolete/no longer used/closed section.

You should be able to post within the Autism Spectrum Discussion heading
and Asperger's is considered an autism spectrum condition, so I am not
clear yet on exactly what the situation is.

 

[Benjamin Dover]

It's here: Asperger's & Autism Directory Discussions

Says "(You have insufficient privileges to post here.)"

What I see on this forum is a division between Autism and Asperger's, as if there is a difference. At least, it seems that there must be a difference. Otherwise, WHY have the differentiation?

Already I feel like my coming here was a big mistake.

 

[Benjamin Dover]

If it's obsolete, then why is it still visible? If closed, then why still visible?

Also, if closed or obsolete, then why only the Asperger's ones?

 

[tree]

Excuse me.
I was speculating on what you possibly meant, since it wasn't clear to me.

Closed threads do indeed exist, for various reasons.
=====
In some countries the label of Asperger's is used; in some countries
it is not. Some places use the term HFA. That's why both words are
used here....autism and asperger's.
====
Asperger's & Autism Directory Discussions
This area is not closed.

As I said previously, if you were trying to submit a resource, there is a slight
delay on that for new members. It has to be approved by staff.
====
Can you give me a link to something you tried to reply to, but found a message
saying you had insufficient privileges?

It sounds like it may have been an informational area, that was a staff announcement.
I can't know, though, unless you show me.

 

[Mattymatt]

Hello. I just signed up. Hope that I clicked the proper suggestion for diagnosis, as I don't want anyone to get upset with me over it. I guessed my best.

Earlier this year, I had joined some depression forums. The problem was that I kept getting kicked out. I try my best, but it's never good enough.

Anyway, I thought that depression was my only problem. I have been seeing a therapist on a regular basis. One of the issues I was discussing with him revolved around me getting scammed by someone on Facebook. Based on this issue, he wanted to test me, so he gave me a test [WAIS-IV?] and some other tests.

My intelligence is above average, so that's not an issue.

HOWEVER, he said that I had "Asperger's Tendencies." I'm receiving this diagnosis for the first time, at the age of 52 [I just turned 53].

My challenges, related to this, are frustrating.

One is about learning. I'm trying to learn new things, but I just can't make the right connections, so nothing sticks. So much for the "little geniuses" remark my therapist made.

On a social level, I tend to over-explain. I'm also blunt and to-the-point, with honesty that is almost crushing, depending on the situation. I know that this is why I get kicked out of forums, so I'll do my best to curb that.

What happens is I'll see a thread where someone has complaints about an issue. It may be an issue that I've experienced, and it got resolved when someone was very blunt with me. In turn, I'll be blunt and honest with them. I don't swear, and I don't think I'm being mean.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that honesty is not an admirable trait, and that it's preferred that I "read between the lines" for what others are saying, and that I should respond to the unspoken, unasked question that resides in that area.

An example of this is when my girlfriend puts on something and asks the dreaded "Do I look fat in this?" question. I will answer with a YES or NO, and she will then go change.

My therapist said that the question being asked is not the real question, and that she just wants to know if she looks nice. But when I told her about it, she geniunely wants to know if she looks fat in something, and she appreciates my honesty. This might be why we've been together for 20 years, but I digress.

I understand coloquialisms, such as when someone finds a statement to be incredible, they say, "Get outta here!" I don't take that as a command to leave the room. I get some of these things. Other things, maybe not so much, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, I'm struggling with:

1. How to learn things.
2. How to better understand others.

I'll do my best to avoid honesty, and yet be truthful. I already hate my own introduction.

Hi @Benjamin Dover. Welcome! This is a safe place to discuss a lot of things. I was diagnosed later in life. I am 40 and received my diagnosis at 38. I have had to do a lot of soul searching and certainly a good bit of self-examination. If I had to guess, you're on the high functioning end of the spectrum because you're married and you understand - at least to some degree - the nuances of a relationship. That in itself is a nothing to shake a stick at ;-). My longest relationship lasted 6 months. I've found it very hard to relate to women or even understand them. Hell, it took me needing to read a book on dating to begin to be able to look for body language that indicates interest. I could not pick up those cues on my own. And now that I think I might be finally beginning to grasp the concepts, I am so overweight and sick from diabetes that I wouldn't date me. Navigating the neurotypical world is challenging and I think just being here does a lot to relieve the saddness, confusion, and anger of not being mainstream and being seen as an outlier.

 

[Benjamin Dover]

Asperger's & Autism Directory Discussions
This area is not closed.

Excuse me.
That's the area where I assumed that I would need to be. Whatever you want to call it, whether closed, locked down, etc., it is not available for posting. Starting a new thread there is impossible. I'm not TRYING to post anything yet, but assumed this was where I would need to go since what I might post is related more to Asperger's specifically than Autism in general.

I may have made a big mistake trying to fit here. I don't understand.

 

[tree]

That area is for people to post book titles.
It is a resource area.
It is not for discussing the condition of ASD/asperger's.
It is an area to offer books, primarily.
There may be some video links, as well.
=====
I think I am beginning to see what is giving you problems.
It looks like you are assuming that Asperger's is wildly different
and utterly separate from Autism.

Asperger's syndrome is a label which describes some people
on the autism spectrum.
==
The area called Off Topic is the major area that does not
concern asperger's or autism related material. That's why
it's called Off Topic.

All other areas here, all the other sections, have topics pertaining
in one way or another to ASD/asperger's/autism.
---
If you want to find specific threads with the word "asperger's" in the title,
use the Search Window. Enter the topic you're looking for.

 

[Bolletje]

Welcome! You're a little quick in assuming you made a mistake coming here. Relax, don't get too worked up. You're not being judged, you're not being attacked.
This is a very friendly place.

You ran into an issue on the forums, that doesn't necessarily mean you have failed at fitting in. Take your time familiarizing yourself with the forums, no need to rush. Many of the people on these forums have Aspergers, so there's no need to post in the specific sub directory you mentioned (which, honestly, I never noticed before).

 

[Benjamin Dover]

I assume this was a mostly canned response.

The reason why I would assume there is a difference, is because the very existence of something that differentiates tells me that.

I stink at metaphors, but will try.

It's like going into a chocolate [Autism] shop and discovering the mint chocolate [Asperger's] offerings. It's right there, and someone has gone through great lengths and pains to label something as such. It's their way of telling you that THIS is different from THAT.

So you try to get the mint chocolate, but are told it's not for sale. "Just go with the regular."

If there is no real difference, then there should not be anything on this site, or anywhere else, that even SUGGESTS there is a difference.

I'll stick with "General Private Discussions" for now, if I stick to it at all. This is feeling like a bigger and bigger mistake.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Hoping to get sufficient privileges for future posting in the actual Asperger's sections. Those sections seem to be more protected than other spots, such as here. Not sure why. Anyway, trying to figure out what I need to do, or if I'm even in the right place for any of this.

You don't need special permission to post- go to "Forums " at the top of the main page and click on it. It will bring up all the different forums and the specific ones under each general section. To post pick a specific topic like "Education and Employment" and click on it. It should bring up a button which says "Post new thread" click that and you can start a new thread. Or if you just want to reply to a post by someone else, just click reply and it will let you type in your reply. Hope this helps.
Suggest you read through various topics and see the range of things discussed on this website. Then you will have a better idea of which topic to post under depending on your subject.

 

[Sabrina]

Welcome.
Pan’s Labyrinth is a great movie, but why did you choose such a creepy monster as your avatar?

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome.

I hafta ask:

1. Is Benjamin Dover your real name, or a clever screen name?
2. If the latter, may we call you Ben...?

 

[pjcnet]

Why would anyone find the above post to be "funny?"

Lots of people have different types of humour, but a large proportion of this community are on the autistic spectrum and therefore may not always be the best at knowing the right and wrong place for humour, while most of the remainder know someone who is autistic, E.g. a friend, family member or partner.

You mentioned in your original post about over explaining, being blunt and honest as reasons for getting kicked out of forums in the past, well the majority of people here understand autistic traits and being blunt and/or honest whether it's tactful or not is a common trait, so is over explaining and in fact many autistic people also repeat and going on about things (I have that issue a lot, sometimes I just can't get things out of my head, especially things that annoy me). It's therefore much less likely to cause you an issue here and it's great that you're recognising the reason too. I still think that honesty is an admirable trait however, but in an NT world a lot of people also learn when to tell "white lies" occasionally, usually so not to upset or offend, E.g. someone receives a Christmas present they hate and they then lie by saying they like it, but there can be other times when it can be more tactful not to say anything at all and knowing the best time to do this can be a skill that's sometimes difficult for many people on the autistic spectrum. I am still not perfect at being tactful myself and I used to be terrible at at, although I have learnt a lot with practice over time, especially when I was a sysop for a busy website that I also moderated.

I assume this was a mostly canned response.

The reason why I would assume there is a difference, is because the very existence of something that differentiates tells me that.

I stink at metaphors, but will try.

It's like going into a chocolate [Autism] shop and discovering the mint chocolate [Asperger's] offerings. It's right there, and someone has gone through great lengths and pains to label something as such. It's their way of telling you that THIS is different from THAT.

So you try to get the mint chocolate, but are told it's not for sale. "Just go with the regular."

If there is no real difference, then there should not be anything on this site, or anywhere else, that even SUGGESTS there is a difference.

I'll stick with "General Private Discussions" for now, if I stick to it at all. This is feeling like a bigger and bigger mistake.

I agree that all the various changing terms for different people on the autistic spectrum can be really confusing and I can also understand the confusion at not being able to post in that particular section, it's not just yourself however, I've noticed I have insufficient privileges to post there too. I think it would be helpful if the staff added a quick sticky note to the top of that section detailing exactly how the section is used and how you should go about gaining permission to it if you had a reason to do so. You can post directly into the "General Autism Discussion" instead however where it states, "Any topics released to Aspergers Syndrome, Autism and High Functioning Autism can be discussed within this forum here." or of course there's the "General Private Discussion" section as you've mentioned too which only members can see.

I hope you do stick around and you are always very welcome at ASPIESCentral.

 

[watersprite]

Why would anyone find the above post to be "funny?"

Because I got a picture in my mind as a result of reading your posts. I think mainly in pictures.
I saw a man entering and then exiting a building through a revolving door several times. A bit like M.Hulot, who is about as un-monster as it gets. To me it was funny.
Anyway.
I did not mean anything against you personally.
In fact; welcome to AC.

 

[Mr Allen]

Hello & welcome.

I hafta ask:

1. Is Benjamin Dover your real name, or a clever screen name?
2. If the latter, may we call you Ben...?

That joke's been done, I asked the same question last night!

 

[Benjamin Dover]

Welcome.
Pan’s Labyrinth is a great movie, but why did you choose such a creepy monster as your avatar?

I'm fairly certain that this is how I appear to others.