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[Thalia]

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[tree]

 

[Thalia]

THANK YOU <3

 

[LucyPurrs]

Oh Thalia, hope you feel better soon. It sounds like you've had a very rough time. But you're here now and this is a very accepting, friendly and welcoming community that you can easily become a part of if you wish to. You have found a very good place here. Give all of us a chance to help you.

 

[Fitzo]

Thalia your story is so sad to read.
Is there some organization that may be able to give you some help and guidance? In Australia we have Lifeline and Beyond Blue. I'm assuming there must be something similar in the US.
Is there a counsellor you could go and see?
I really hope you find someone who can help you.

 

[Gritches]

My hardened heart weeps for you, Thalia. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. PM me if you need or just want someone to talk to. I've been in bad situations before, and you never know where or when the solutions will come, all I know is that you have to take action to save yourself.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Coupe]

Hello and welcome to AC, @Thalia . I'm really, really sorry you've had such a difficult time. As @LucyPurrs has said, this forum is great place to find support and people who understand. You sound like a very strong, kind person, and I think it's great that you want to become a massage therapist, too.

 

[Squished Crab]

Hi Thalia, welcome to AC!

 

[RainbowAura]

Your message broke my heart so much. It is like reading something of my own life in parts. I relate to most of what you are saying. The emptiness and longing to be wanted and loved and a man to love you. All I can tell you is you’ll never find exactly what you want in life if you are seeking it from a man. They will manipulate your vulnerability. The thing is our dreams are fantasies if we want people to be a certain way. I learned to accept this because it causes more hurt. I made fantasies of people doing something for me..but you know it caused more pain!

Try some courses. I’m in the exact same boat as you and I’m 25..nearly 26! I’m unemployed..never worked. No skills..my life is a mess. I made an effort and signed up for postal studies and go to a computer course. Gives me something to do and some skills plus escape my family for a while. We aren’t hateful just it has tension and makes me feel a little “free””. I’m 100% dependent on my mother but we are kinda strained. She is emotionally abusive at times.
I’m not more of much help because I’m the same as you.

You are loved, beautiful and so special to God. I have prayed to the Lord for you.

 

[Sherlock77]

Just hang in there, lots of people on this forum who can be lots of help... I believe everyone is special and has worth... I believe that about you, and will pray for you...

 

[CDOCONNOR]

I'm a 21 year old female, I dont know what im doing with my life . I live with my mother who has psychologically abused me verbally and physically all my life, telling me how much she wishes I was never born and how ugly I am because I look like my father and his two fat sisters who she makes fun of also she has threated to kick me out since the age of 7 . She's a alcholic and a whore , my stepfather has threated to kill me and has put his hands on me . Same for my ex stepdad the father of my half brother who used to beat me . My biological father doesn't try to be in life or has paid child support. .

I'm estranged from both sides of the family who I hardly have contact with. I never been in a relationship or felt some type of special / protective love from anyone . My biggest wish is to meet the man of my dreams who will love me , protect me and support me emotionally , make up the abuse I had to go through in my life .

I never had a job because I have bad social anxiety and have signs on autism and a learning disability , I can't work at fast food restaurant either. I have been applying jobs but they won't hire me since I dont have experiance . I recently got my driving permit and working on studying to take Massage board exam to get licensed to work professionally as a massage therpist . I have been out of school since Dec 2016 . I been procastinating a lot and unmotivated because I been so depressed .

Massage Therapy is the only carrer I feel I can handle and be comfortable with . I don't have friends , most of my friends were online but I ended things with them because it was causing me to have attachment issues and the online friendships I had were toxic and drama where the point I would be harrased on youtube . I have no one to hangout or have social media anymore . I feel very alone . I literally have no one in my life that makes me feel good .

I been feeling very depressed and sucidal . I plan on killing myself May 31st if things don't go well for me .

I hadly do anything productive in life but stay in my room, I'm trying eat healthier and exercise now . I want to leave my abusive household and never see or talk to my mother or step father again even though I have no where to go . I never had guidance in life . I feel trapped and low .

I am tired of living this way , I want my happy ending to have good things happening in my life, I want to get married someday and travel . I feel I dont deserve it or to be loved or have anyone chase after me or want me or feel desired . I been molested by my mothers father at the age of 11-14 and beat by my maternal grandmother and bullied by my aunts who would spread hate because I was tan skinned because I was in the sun a lot as a kid and called me the N word in Spanish even though I'm Latina . This caused me to hate myself even more . I feel I been cursed in this life surrounded by ****** heartless evil people .

I just want to be loved , feel special and have someone be proud to have me in their life . I believe I have a good heart and would be the best friend or girlfriend anyone could possibly have . I'm different in a good way and unique , unfortunately people have taken advantage of my kindness and hurt me .

Please don't commit suicide Thalia. If you do then your dreams will never materialize. I've had many toxic relationships--especially with friends, and its caused a lot of suffering on my part. On my worst days I feel like a disease that should just go away. However, on my positive days what I've learned is to find a peaceful place in my heart. Do you have any hobbies or outside interests? They'll certainly help. Prepare yourself for that wonderful person waiting for you in the future. You already have a plan and that's good. I'm here for you no matter what. But promise me you won't do anything to harm yourself. What will that special someone down the road do without you? ya know?

Your friend,

C.

 

[Crossbreed]

@Thalia, it may be hard to believe right now, but you ARE loved.

 

[Gracey]

Hello Thalia.

Maybe it’s time to start loving yourself ?

Finding yourself in this exact situation with all the haters and nay sayers means it’s time to let go of all of that, and blossom.

Find who you truly are and love that person, because you’re worth it.

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome Thalia.

This has been and still is a great place to let things out and find healing through sharing and others who have been in the same place.

Much of what you say I can also relate to.
Difference with me is my Mom was the only one I
really felt loved by and trusted.
No one has treated me better.
I grew up with no other family except my parents and
they were both good people. But, Mom was my best
friend through life.
I never had the desire for marriage and children.

All I can tell you is you’ll never find exactly what you want in life if you are seeking it from a man. They will manipulate your vulnerability. The thing is our dreams are fantasies if we want people to be a certain way

This is always what I found in relationships to be true too.

@Gracey Your post is what I am searching for now in life. Find happiness with self. Peace within. Somehow.
There is love here.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Oh wow, you've got a full bingo card full of problems in your life, don't you!? I sorry to hear that. But I think you've found a good site to talk to others, we're very inclusive for the most part and not a lot of arguments really go on here.

I'm a broken record here, when I hear people like you struggling with no friends I say have a look for charities in your area for mental health and/or autism. They'll help you connect to others like minded and you could make a lot of friends. I really recommend it, it has helped me immeasurably.

 

[Juliettaa]

Welcome Thalia.

Is there any possibility that you could move home, live in assisted housing or similar? The environment you're in now is toxic and is not going to be conducive to your self healing.

Also, see if there are any organisations/charities who can assist you with moving out, gaining life skills, working towards getting a job etc.

The people you have in your life right now are not helping you, the cycle will continue. You have been seriously abused. Please ask for help from a professional body/organisation.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I would also be very wary of trying to find love and a relationship at this point.

You have to get to a point where you're safe and are able to love yourself first.

It's very easy to find yourself falling in with someone which can repeat the cycle of abuse.

Other advice here is also very good.

Ironically, when you are young, it can feel like there is no time.

But you do have the time,please be patience.

Make a plan,life will get better for you.

 

[Tom]

Finding similiarly minded people is a positive step usually, so hopefully this can be place where you do feel belonging. I know after many tries elsewhere it finally worked for me here. Things can change for the better.