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Your Worst Meltdown?

G

Galaxy Freeze

Well-Known Member
I think a lot of us on the Autism spectrum have meltdowns, whether they're frequent or rare. I know I do. There are several types, such as emotional meltdowns, temper meltdowns, sensory meltdowns...

I am most prone to sensory meltdowns, such as getting extremely stressed out in stores or at parties, etc. However, the ones I try to avoid are temper meltdowns, I've only had about 2 or 3 in my life, and thank god. Most of the time, I control them, but when I simply can't contain my anger anymore, all hell breaks loose. The absolute worst one that I've had was a couple of years ago during a fight with my mom. I can't remember what we were fighting about, but I remember how it started to take over my body. I began to heat up from my feet to my head, I squeezed my eyes shut and did this sort of frustrated grimace. I bent over and pulled my hair, trying to let it pass, but I couldn't stop it. After that, I began to screech like a possessed demon or raptor (it was terrifying), and I ended up punching a dent in the fridge and shattering several wineglasses. After that, it was all over. Scary, huh? I didn't feel like myself. I ran to my room and cried afterwards, then began throwing random things like my iPod... I guess those were the "aftershocks", haha.

So, after sharing my story, what type of meltdown seems to happen the most with you guys? Is there a certain way you can tell it's coming? And what's been your absolute worst/most destructive meltdown if you've had one?
 
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Hummm the absolute worst would have to have been the one I had at work a few weeks back it was either the worst or close to it. I tend to get extremely hysterical when I meltdown usually from stress and being overloaded. I cry rocking back and forth and usually mutter things that don't make sense about what I am usually not understanding about the situation especially if I feel like I am gonna get in trouble. I stomp my feet and and have been known to hit myself not anyone else though. I have had a few others that happen like I do shutdowns too.
 
It was probably the one last summer when I had already had 4 in one day and then my fiance snapped one of those pop rocks a few feet away from me.... I screamed because I was so damned frustrated. I didn't even hit myself (If someone is being immature enough to give me a guilt trip, that's when I do that the most. It's my way of saying "well, I deserve to be slapped I guess, so no one wanted to do that, so I'll save you the trouble" and I know that sounds concerning but do you really give a damn about anything when you're having a meltdown? Absolutely not. Or at least I don't!) that time. I just... screamed. Then I smiled briefly because screaming felt good, and then ran to my room because he said "wow, you're overreacting." and I cried really hard for about half an hour.

And he's ignorant, apparently! If he hasn't figured my patterns out by now do I need to draw a damn map? SHEESH!!!!! Next month will be 7 years together.... figure me out! LOL!
 
I don't know about worst, but I used to work at a grocery store and I would frequently have panic attacks due to sensory overload. One of my bosses told me that when I felt overwhelmed, I could step outside for a minute and calm down, so that was good, but working there was still a rather unpleasant experience. I put myself through that for thirteen years. Ultimately, I was fired because a different boss who didn't like me made up lies about things I allegedly said and did that I really didn't (long story), but I have to admit, they did me a favor as I likely would have gone insane if I had to work there much longer.
 
Dunno if this is the worst one necessarily but it comes to mind. Early on in my driving years someone drove into the back of my car in the rain. It was my first accident experience and so I was flustered even though there was hardly any damage. When I got home one of my family members made a little sarcastic quip about the experience and I flipped out completely. I was kicking bottles around, screaming, and I threw my car key into the wall so hard that it stuck in the wall and dented the key (couldn't use it anymore, luckily I had a backup).
 
It is something I do not feel at all safe discussing here (probably not even in the Private Discussions section) but I will say it is similar to what some have described here. The aftermath affected my life for years.
 
I'm not sure if it's ASD related meltdowns with me for most part.

As a child I got bullied a lot (verbally, as well as physically), and because of that I got meltdowns. That apparently amused bullies so they did it even more. I actually believe that any person would react like that, and it's not an actual ASD reaction.

One of my worst, and last meltdowns was at home when I got into a silly argument where my dad started argueing and yelling and wasn't up to hear my side of the story. Especially when my side of the story clearly made a lot of sense. It pretty much ended up where I ended up self-harming in front of them, in order to not plant cutlery in my dads face. My dad's memory is horrible, so he forgot what happened the next day. I did have a sitdown with my mom about it and explained what happened and why it happened the way it did.

I guess that my meltdowns are triggered when someone isn't reasonable and isn't up to listen and I can't resort to other means to solve the dispute. In a lot of cases I'd try to reason with someone, and if someone stays thickheaded I might resort to violence. Is it ok? Probably not... but if you're that thickheaded, I don't really know how to get the message through. And clearly, when I have an argument with my dad... I rather not get violent with relatives. They're the few people I actually have around and I don't know if I should burn those bridges that way over a seemingly irrational act on my behalf.
 
I was bullied a lot, too, in elementary school. Verbally and physically! It really sucked and I almost wanted to kill myself. Kids are so cruel, and I think the bullying turned me into a very untrustworthy person. It kind of lowered my hope in humanity, as harsh as that sounds. It made me loose faith in the goodness of people. They did a lot of horrible stuff to me, lots of which I don't want to talk about, but a group of girls burned a cigarette into my thigh because they thought I was dating some boy that they liked. (********) The mark is still there! I always wear long pants to cover it.

Yeah, I usually feel myself getting angry if someone isn't listening to me or letting me talk, or if they assume the argument's over when I haven't even shared my side of the story yet! Yeah, it's also hard for me not to get physical, I'm more likely to do that with someone my age though.
 
I got lost going to a social event that I was invited to by someone I'd just met. I couldn't find the place and had no cell signal, so got progressively more distressed until I gave up and decided to go home. Then on the highway on the way home it just hit me full force and I had to pull over because I was breathing and crying so hard that I couldn't see to drive safely. It was horrible and left me hung over for the next day and a half.
 
@Cerulean: I know that exact same feeling! I can get meltdowns very easily if it involves me getting lost. One time I drove to a city at night by myself (I usually go with my parents, and I had just gotten my license at the time). I am so terrible with directions, my dad, mom, and sister all told me exactly where to go. All I had to do was go straight and turn right. That's it. Sounds simple, eh? Well, somehow (I don't even know how) I got myself lost! So I'm driving around in this crowded, confusing new town and trying to find somewhere to pull over without going back onto the freeway. I finally found a dead end to a neighborhood where I called my family. I was crying and sweating and so stressed out. I cussed myself out and FINALLY I got where I needed to be... so terrifying.
 
A girl in middle-school rejected me once, and I was rolling around on the floor, spasming and screaming for days. It got so bad that I had to skip a day of school. My mind and body just couldn't handle the idea of living without this girl being romantically involved in my life; it felt like my soul was violently ripped out of me, leaving me just of husk of skin in terrible emotional pain (I'm sure there are other things that are more emotionally painful; don't get the impression that I think my problems are the worst).

Now, about four years later, I have developed my emotional skills to the point that I can stop myself from liking a girl too much until I am sure that she likes me back (with one misstep).
 
@ReadRothbard My worst meltdowns have been for the same reason (there has been three of them)! The thought that I've lost that "one" I care about and they won't be romantically involved in my life, ever. It DOES feel like someone ripped out your soul or something.. My reaction is different though.. I get a meltdown in the form of crying uncontrollably for hours, like this weird howling cry non-stop and it's quite scary (I've heard). I just can't control the pain... After that is done, I actually can move on, lol.
 
I've had several, but they all include the theme of me destorying something of mine or trying to hurt myself. The most recent, which was a few weeks ago saw me try to put my fist trough a wall, scream and yell at my mother and finally break down and cry with some hair tearing out.

Not a preety sight.
 
December 25th, 1986. Christmas day...and I found my girlfriend crying as we were opening presents with my mother. Caught me totally by surprise , and I suggested we just go home. She was upset because I didn't tell her I loved her that morning. I just didn't know how to handle it.

It unglued me. I lost it. Christmas was always a tough time for me ever since my father died just days before. I asked her to leave.

We got back together again weeks later, but it was never the same. Eventually she dumped me. Certainly the costliest meltdown for me ever. I look back now knowing my AS was working overtime that fateful day. And it wasn't even over a group of people that normally spooked me. Ugh.
 
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I am fortunately not majorly prone to "meltdowns" though I have had a few, the thing that has triggered them for me has been having an event I was anticipating cancelled or changed, I once had a fairly epic meltdown because a school trip was rescheduled due to the weather, I recall basically being dragged away screaming and crying, I was 12, and after I calmed down I was very embarrassed because I knew perfectly well that behavior made me look stupid.

Fortunately I haven't had a full blown meltdown in some time, though I do still tend to majorly overreact to things not going as planned.
 
When I was like 25 yrs old.... my mom tried to make me go to a doctors appt...she got me in the car and on our way. I started freaking out crying, screaming... ect and wished outloud that we would get into a car wreck..It was pretty bad.
 
my worst meltdown was about atleast 7 years ago (I'm 17) I was on holiday and I got bullied by some kids my age, to the point where I became uncontrollably mad and grabbed one of the by his throat and started chocking him one handedly while the other kids were beating me to let him go. I didn't feel pain. But came to the realization that I had to let him go. I've never been violent to others since. Though I've had tendencies (a lot).

I do also suffer from sensory and emotional meltdowns too. After reading the fault in our stars I cried half a night.

sensory meltdowns I have quite often. After a busy weekend or parties/ birthdays. I have to stay home at least one day after to recover.
 
Back in 1999 when I got accepted into a dietetic internship that I'd been working towards for years. There are many details leading up to the meltdown, including my husband's health, the fact that I had to live away from home during the week, the internship was highly competitive and I was surrounded by NT women. About a week into the orientation, I had a major breakdown in my studio apartment at the hospital where the internship was located. I packed everything that I'd moved into the apartment into my little car, drove home and resigned from the program the next day. That was the first time I realized I wasn't going to be able to make myself do something I didn't want to do. I'd always been able to force my way through any unpleasantness in order to reach a goal, but this time it was different. I just couldn't do it. The whole experience left me severely depressed.

That is the one time when it really would've helped to have a formal diagnosis of Asperger's. If I'd ever been properly diagnosed, I could have received help with my issues concerning the internship itself. Perhaps that would've been enough to allow me to continue with it. I just didn't think I'd be able to keep up the pace they demanded. This still haunts me today.
 
I usually veer more towards shutdowns, but do get emotional meltdowns. Thoughts and speech become fragmented and regressed, my voice becomes whiny, if it doesn't stop then i end up yelling, and stuff usually ends up thrown and doors slammed. Nothing breakable gets thrown, usually something harmless like a water or soda bottle. I'm just lucky that at work i'm usually pushed to anxiety (or self loathing) and end up shutting down instead of melting down. Sometimes, like if i've already had an emotional meltdown, i can then end up getting sensory meltdowns which look pretty much the exact same.
 
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