Everything has to have a purpose; everything has to have a reason. I’m just that way, though I could wish I weren’t.
Waaaay back in the 70’s while dating my wife, she commented openly that it seemed I always had a reason for doing the things I did. I wondered how often this woman I loved did things without reason. Like 40 years later, we’re turning into the parking lot of the local grocery store and she asked me why I always had to take the empty parking space closest to the door. Well, to state the obvious, we purchase and maintain vehicles so as to minimize the amount of walking we do. What part did she not understand about the purpose of motor vehicles?
I wouldn’t be on this forum if I didn’t have a purpose in being here. At first, it was entirely about learning about autism from actual autistic people. As I progressed in a book I’ve written, it became mostly about understanding the common aspects of life as an autist. The book is in its fourth rewrite, but I have yet to feel I have captured what it’s like to be ND in an NT world. Meaning, not so as I think an NT would feel it. That’s my purpose, and it sustains me.
After a lifetime of playing around with guitar, I’m sorry I never took it seriously. I’m not under any delusion that I’ll live long enough to become proficient, but my purpose is to get there, so I keep on keeping on. In my 70’s memorizing the fretboard and hand positions; heh. But I have a purpose; I’ve written some music over the years that I’d like to record.
In my life, the book and the guitar/bass/drums are tiny little slits of motivation, like houseplants catching the occasional rays through slit curtains. My only serious interest in life is my faith. Maybe, as many would diagnose, my faith is my ‘special interest’, therefore a product of my autism; maybe if I wasn’t autistic then my faith would occupy a ‘more appropriate’ portion of my attention and passion. Or, maybe God got ahold of me (even in spite of my autism) and hasn’t let go.
Either way, it seems that the ‘decision’ to concentrate on a life of faith is only partly my own. Maybe, like the nearest parking space, I’m just naturally inclined. One thing I do know, that the level of purpose and fulfillment I experience in that regard has sustained me through a very difficult life. Maybe it’s just the autism.
Waaaay back in the 70’s while dating my wife, she commented openly that it seemed I always had a reason for doing the things I did. I wondered how often this woman I loved did things without reason. Like 40 years later, we’re turning into the parking lot of the local grocery store and she asked me why I always had to take the empty parking space closest to the door. Well, to state the obvious, we purchase and maintain vehicles so as to minimize the amount of walking we do. What part did she not understand about the purpose of motor vehicles?
I wouldn’t be on this forum if I didn’t have a purpose in being here. At first, it was entirely about learning about autism from actual autistic people. As I progressed in a book I’ve written, it became mostly about understanding the common aspects of life as an autist. The book is in its fourth rewrite, but I have yet to feel I have captured what it’s like to be ND in an NT world. Meaning, not so as I think an NT would feel it. That’s my purpose, and it sustains me.
After a lifetime of playing around with guitar, I’m sorry I never took it seriously. I’m not under any delusion that I’ll live long enough to become proficient, but my purpose is to get there, so I keep on keeping on. In my 70’s memorizing the fretboard and hand positions; heh. But I have a purpose; I’ve written some music over the years that I’d like to record.
In my life, the book and the guitar/bass/drums are tiny little slits of motivation, like houseplants catching the occasional rays through slit curtains. My only serious interest in life is my faith. Maybe, as many would diagnose, my faith is my ‘special interest’, therefore a product of my autism; maybe if I wasn’t autistic then my faith would occupy a ‘more appropriate’ portion of my attention and passion. Or, maybe God got ahold of me (even in spite of my autism) and hasn’t let go.
Either way, it seems that the ‘decision’ to concentrate on a life of faith is only partly my own. Maybe, like the nearest parking space, I’m just naturally inclined. One thing I do know, that the level of purpose and fulfillment I experience in that regard has sustained me through a very difficult life. Maybe it’s just the autism.
