When that time has passed

[savi83]

Over the past couple of years a lot has changed for me. I have moved to another county and started a new job.

I had a good working relationship with the people at my old job of over eight years, they've invited me to occasions but I don't see the practicality of keeping the relationship going. I feel that time in my life has passed.

Is this normal to just be able to draw a line under something and move on without giving it a second thought.

I don't feel bad that I haven't kept in touch, it's more because I don't feel bad for not keeping in touch.

 

[OkRad]

It is hard but not bad. I have had to do that, too, when I realized I did not even WANT the vapid vacuity involved in most friendships. Can I talk to them about Aristotle? Can they tell me about space? NO? Then bye. They don't care. They are all checking their Facebook for likes. They don't even remember me. ANd that is OK.,

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Not at all. It's just a life fact that people move on. As nice as these people may have been it's just not practical to remain close with a lot of people you can't see any more. But yes it can hurt when someone does this but they also know that this was going to happen, I guess some just expect that the relationship goes colder more gradually.

 

[On the Inside]

You are fortunate to have been thought of highly enough that they wish to keep in touch. But don't feel obligated. While I do often think about people in my past, I generally make no attempt to maintain any sort of relatioship.

I never thought about it before, but recently, my employer has made some job cuts, and while I still have a job, I was advised by my therapist to try to contact some old coleagues to "network" in case I need to find another job. I did contact a couple of people, and even though I consider them friends, it was difficult get around to, and awkward when I did.

I have since just got on with life and hope I don't have to network again.

 

[Bolletje]

I'm having an easier time letting go than a lot of people I know. I've worked five different temp jobs in the last year and got on well with a lot of colleagues, but for me a work relationship is vastly different from a friendship. After leaving each job, one or two colleagues wanted to keep in touch. I didn't mind swapping the occasional message, but I don't go out of my way to ensure a meeting. When one of them suggests getting together with some of our ex-co-workers I make sure to leave the planning up to them. I wouldn't mind seeing them, but I don't miss it either.
I just keep them on my Linkedin and Facebook for networking purposes.
Pretty much the same for me for friends that move away. I send them a message on their birthday and the occasional message in between to ask how they're doing, We meet up when they visit my city, but that hardly ever happens and I've learned the hard way that it's better to move on and put my energy into friendships with people near me that I get to talk to face to face on a regular basis.

 

[ChrisN]

Amputate my arms and you will get an idea of how many friends I have kept over the years.