What's your excuse?

[Reedstorm17]

I had concert rehearsal.

Why are the first five rows of seats in the auditorium taped off?

 

[SingaSong]

That's where the zoo animals on day release are going to sit.

Why is my washing taking ages to dry?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because you didn't turn on the dryer.

Why aren't all the music ensembles performing in the same concert?

 

[SingaSong]

If all the music ensembles performed in the same concert the dressing rooms wouldn't hold all the performers waiting to play.

Why are spectacles always dirty no matter how often I clean them?

 

[Reedstorm17]

You call a muddy rag a glasses cleaning cloth?

Why does the cat keep begging for food, even though he knows very well that his feeding time isn't for another hour?

 

[tree]

Your cat is trying to teach you appropriate behavior, but
you fail, so far, apparently.

What's your excuse for leaving this pile of dirty clothes here
by the washer?

 

[vangelis]

It's covering up a furball

Why do you have to sneeze so loudly?

 

[tree]

It's not my fault you keep sticking your head in front of me.

Why haven't brought it in the mail yet?

 

[QueenOfFrance87]

Rabid squirrels ate my mail.

Why isn't my husband's DeLorean clean?

 

[Reedstorm17]

It's been behind a sign in 1955.

Why did my cat jump on the counter?

 

[QueenOfFrance87]

Because the chair was already taken.

Why is my Christmas tree still up?

 

[tree]

You never got back to my people about when
you wanted them to come over and take it down.

Why were you late yesterday?

 

[QueenOfFrance87]

I felt like sleeping in.

Why is there cat food all over the floor?

 

[Theta.G]

I was drunk and out of plates, with blurry vision thought they were reese puffs!

Why haven't you gone outside yet?

 

[QueenOfFrance87]

There are grizzly bears running around.

Why is my cat's fur not brushed yet?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Dander and shedded fur is the new style.

Why did I let Jennifer mess around with the autocorrect on my phone?

 

[Butterfly88]

Jennifer was bored and you were being a good friend by giving her something to do.

Why does my dog have a urinary tract infection?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because you haven't been emptying its litter box. May I remind you that dogs don't use litter boxes?

Why do I suddenly have so much free time at school?

 

[QueenOfFrance87]

All the teachers and the principal suddenly came down with Ebola.

Why do I need more groceries all of a sudden?

 

[Reedstorm17]

The cat was hungry.

Why is there a fire drill on such a cold day?