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What's the best way to communicate?

PeacewithNature

Active Member
Hello! I went a similar thread before about someone close to me who has asperger's. I told him over messenger since I moved that I understand that he needs space sometimes and may not always want to talk to people and he said, "Ty! :)"

I told him I was respecting him because I'm the type of person to always respect someone's personal space. I know he misses me and often times I have a battle inside my head and negative thoughts start to form that he doesn't miss me and I have to shake my head to get these bad thoughts away because I know none of them are true. I remember in the past before I told him, I doubt you even miss me or even care about me and he was upset with me, "What are you talking about??"

This was before I even knew about his disorder and he didn't know what was going on either. I remember when we sat on the back porch and he looked very confused and looked at me and said, "I don't know why I get angry sometimes. I feel like something is wrong with me....."

Once he found out he was distant and hardly would talk to anyone. Now that he's talking to me again I'd like to know from everyone. What is the best way for me to communicate with him? I know if he says very out of line things I may have to say something. Before whenever I brought something up he got very upset and he thought I was being critical of him. So on a normal day to day conversation and if he was to say something that truly hurt my feelings what should I say? I sometimes have a hard time being assertive because I hate upsetting people and hurting people's feelings. I'm such a caring, loving, and passionate person by nature. I myself have different disorders and I never talk about them to him because I know it's very overwhelming for him. The only time I ever bring it up if he asks and when he does I say very very little to him.

He analyzes things and explains things so well, he's very intelligent and he has his pilot license. I never try to analyze him. There was once that I tried and he took it as I was being critical of him. Believe he may be sensitive to criticism as well because I picked up on it. He told me about his disorder, I believe he may have left out a few things because he's embarrassed about it and he found out about his disorder two years ago and he's going through a deep dark depression due to his last girlfriend cheating on him.

So without overwhelming him, what is the best possible way for me to communicate with him about. I'm think a very light conversation, I think he hates that. He loves deep conversation which I do too. I hate small talk as well and I try to make small talk with him and he gets bored very easily. I'm trying to be very patient and understanding with him.

So once he comes back after withdrawing from me, how should I go about this and how should I communicate with him?
 

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