Yesterday I took a couple of online tests that had me scoring very high on the Aspie scale. Now, I don't know what to think. Which is very unusual for me. 
Totally cool with this knowledge. It fits like a puzzle piece into my other identities as geek, intellectual, writer, and cat guru. It explains so much.
I do have a serious problem I am hoping this new insight will help with. I have an illness which corresponds most closely to Adrenal Fatigue, so I researched the behind off the subject, found some strategies and supplements to help, and have made some progress. Medical professionals were almost completely useless. (I am astonished that people are astonished that I did this.)
However, I seem to be stuck in this this improved, but not usual, state. I normally have a great deal of energy: this century alone, I experienced a total life meltdown, lost everything, moved to a new place, and rebuilt to include a new academic degree, husband, and job of long standing. But now I come home from work pretty exhausted, and it is almost impossible to rebound.
After managing pretty well, this summer put new pressures on me by requiring me to work on weekends: and not from home on my computer, but attending and mingling at events.
For decades I programmed or did IT work in small offices, able to just sit at my desk and focus on my work with code or spreadsheets or other database tasks. But over the last three years my job has radically changed to include lots of social interaction, travel, and frequent interruptions and attention changes. I am wondering if the added stress of this new position's demands are undercutting my efforts to heal.
Because my fondest wish right now is to have no pressure on me: no people, no responsibilities, no nothing. I feel so psychically overwhelmed. If someone offered to drop me on a desert island (with electricity & Internet & Amazon deliveries) I think I could stay there for a good long while.
I'm starting to think I did fix the physical problems, as best I can. But perhaps the real problem is that I am reaping the incredible stress of compensating, unknowingly, all these years?
What should I consider now? I have been seeing a therapist for help in figuring out why I feel so overwhelmed. And now I think I know But I have only told my husband and brother and don't know if I should seek an official diagnosis or not. Or go public. Or not.
One thing at a time, though, and the most important is that I think I have an explanation for why my brain keeps repeating "Leave me alone."
Could my therapist and I figure out ways of lowering my stress, now that I realize that I am an Aspie?
Totally cool with this knowledge. It fits like a puzzle piece into my other identities as geek, intellectual, writer, and cat guru. It explains so much.
I do have a serious problem I am hoping this new insight will help with. I have an illness which corresponds most closely to Adrenal Fatigue, so I researched the behind off the subject, found some strategies and supplements to help, and have made some progress. Medical professionals were almost completely useless. (I am astonished that people are astonished that I did this.)
However, I seem to be stuck in this this improved, but not usual, state. I normally have a great deal of energy: this century alone, I experienced a total life meltdown, lost everything, moved to a new place, and rebuilt to include a new academic degree, husband, and job of long standing. But now I come home from work pretty exhausted, and it is almost impossible to rebound.
After managing pretty well, this summer put new pressures on me by requiring me to work on weekends: and not from home on my computer, but attending and mingling at events.
For decades I programmed or did IT work in small offices, able to just sit at my desk and focus on my work with code or spreadsheets or other database tasks. But over the last three years my job has radically changed to include lots of social interaction, travel, and frequent interruptions and attention changes. I am wondering if the added stress of this new position's demands are undercutting my efforts to heal.
Because my fondest wish right now is to have no pressure on me: no people, no responsibilities, no nothing. I feel so psychically overwhelmed. If someone offered to drop me on a desert island (with electricity & Internet & Amazon deliveries) I think I could stay there for a good long while.
I'm starting to think I did fix the physical problems, as best I can. But perhaps the real problem is that I am reaping the incredible stress of compensating, unknowingly, all these years?
What should I consider now? I have been seeing a therapist for help in figuring out why I feel so overwhelmed. And now I think I know
But I have only told my husband and brother and don't know if I should seek an official diagnosis or not. Or go public. Or not.One thing at a time, though, and the most important is that I think I have an explanation for why my brain keeps repeating "Leave me alone."
Could my therapist and I figure out ways of lowering my stress, now that I realize that I am an Aspie?
