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Was anyone else raised in a dysfunctional home? (unsure if I should add trigger warnings?) a vent.

A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions)

I am specifically seeking to understand the effect on a disabled individual who could not perform certain tasks for love and approval.

Abuse is abuse, boundaries are boundaries and both devestate a person. Whether the statement was you are stupid and various insults with direct verbal abuse or narcisstic or even ( I just can't think of word now but calculated actions to watch you wallow and manipulate you)

I think the issue with narcissism is the person uses gaslighting to deny that they withhold love. So even if a parent isn't narcisstic is that sense their behaviour towards their child with disabilities may take on narcisstic form.
 
So my herein description of my non-dysfunctional family:

Father (regular guy) does not have narcisstic abusive disease in family he just takes narcisstic traits towards me and even physical disciplinary measures to help me?

Mother (spectrum) it was never narcisstic even if I could fail to see you drowning, it was I had sensory that overloaded my love for you and so was just a byproduct of not wanting children (in those days and maybe still so, unheard of) and so indirect neglect!!
 
In my mother's case she thought watching me drown was her therapy bag, but she will deny it to the ends of the earth!!
 
Lysholm said:
I used to think it was really weird to have a terrible childhood. But, it isn't. It's weird to not have a terrible childhood.

It took well into my thirties before I could empathize with what my parents were going through and to understand how they could be motivated to think and behave as they did. Much of my parent's BS was merely social and economic unfairness they were experiencing at the time, which was all amplified toward me because children are inescapably a burden on resources. Not that kids are to blame, but kids do create unique stressors, and parent's often lash out.

As my mom has aged she's begun reaching out often to kinda make things right - she won't delve into details but I can tell she feels guilty and finally respects my boundaries. Dad is still dad, and that's it.

I don't think there is anything to excuse taking things out on a kid. However, the social and economic crap you are experiencing today was present when your parent's were your current age - people do drugs for a reason. Maybe take that into consideration moving forward. Or not; there are no rules for this.

I guess the main thing would be to not feel like you deserved it, you know? This way you won't feel so compelled to self-deprecate or seek vengeance. Carrying the fallout of abuse for the rest of your life is just validating the abuse, keeping it powerful, and stealing your time and energy.

And I know that last part sounds like a cop-out, but it's true. If your parent's stole your innocence and potential, hanging onto the outrage keeps the door open for others to pick up where your parents left off.
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Woah that's VERY relatable. I can feel that. I've had a mostly peaceful family but the thing is, my Mum has often said things like, "I'm sorry I wasn't harder on you as a kid" or "We should've taught you this earlier!" As I'm learning things more outside of school than I ever did as a kid or in school lol ^^ <3
 
I think society has its views on woman, you get pushed beyond your limits and masking is also expanding limits.
I was comparing data on women's salaries because of course she's not the boss and if she is smart becomes silent, so we drown in women's struggle when we battle for certain jobs that are overrun by typical females and where we don't stand a chance.
My mother said she never wanted kids, I respect her parogative... no in those days it so.ply was not going down. Those days wasn't Google to say oh, take time out for yourself when overwhelmed by kids screaming
 
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