University Problem: Arriving on Time

[Candypanda]

I am a first year university student and its a busy time of year, this is the last week of classes.

I'm really frustrated with myself because the past few days I haven't been able to arrive to class on time. Usually its an occasional struggle but this is too much:

Sunday- late to work by about 5 minutes (evening)
Monday- late to math by about 3 minutes (first class) and spanish (third class)
Today, Tuesday- late to chemistry by an hour (first class).

Emotionally, I really need the consistency/ sameness of arriving on time and having control in where I sit (my usual seat please!) but arriving on time is such a struggle. I think the hard part for me is just understanding how long things take, be it finishing whatever I was just doing or going from place to place.

waking up
getting dressed
leaving the dorm
walking to the building where the class is


And no matter how much time I think I should need I always end up needing longer. I'm not getting distracted in any of the steps. I'm always confused where the time goes and... I'm not sure who to reach out to at the university about it, if anyone. One of my first thoughts was that I was having a mood/avoidance issue but I never have and I cant see the symptoms of such a thing. I really am excited to go to class. I want to arrive on time.....

Can anyone relate to the situation? What are things you do to be more organized and efficient?

 

[Mr Allen]

I am a first year university student and its a busy time of year, this is the last week of classes.

I'm really frustrated with myself because the past few days I haven't been able to arrive to class on time. Usually its an occasional struggle but this is too much:

Sunday- late to work by about 5 minutes (evening)
Monday- late to math by about 3 minutes (first class) and spanish (third class)
Today, Tuesday- late to chemistry by an hour (first class).

Emotionally, I really need the consistency/ sameness of arriving on time and having control in where I sit (my usual seat please!) but arriving on time is such a struggle. I think the hard part for me is just understanding how long things take, be it finishing whatever I was just doing or going from place to place.

waking up
getting dressed
leaving the dorm
walking to the building where the class is


And no matter how much time I think I should need I always end up needing longer. I'm not getting distracted in any of the steps. I'm always confused where the time goes and... I'm not sure who to reach out to at the university about it, if anyone. One of my first thoughts was that I was having a mood/avoidance issue but I never have and I cant see the symptoms of such a thing. I really am excited to go to class. I want to arrive on time.....

On other news, I have finally been given a diagnosis, I'm definitely autistic.

If you now have a formal diagnosis, you should be able to get help with the stuff you need at Uni, such as timekeeping and stuff.

 

[Candypanda]

@Rich Allen Thanks for your reply, but what do I ask for? I dont even know what to say.

Potential thing to tell my dean: "Oh I am late to class a lot and show up crying and get overwhelmed that I cant sit in this one particular chair".

That doesnt sound very coherent or honorable.

I think in the end, I'd rather not be late than have accomodation which allows me to be frequently late. How do I show up to class on time when I am stressed?

 

[xudo]

what do I ask for? I dont even know what to say.

Potential thing to tell my dean: "Oh I am late to class a lot and show up crying and get overwhelmed that I cant sit in this one particular chair".

That doesnt sound very coherent or honorable.

"I have ASD and I'm having problems with timekeeping and any changes to my normal routine day to day" might be a good place to start.

 

[Judge]

Are we to assume you are talking about British or American higher education?

Perhaps best to investigate whatever aid they are willing to extend to you being formally diagnosed with ASD. There may well be some pretty stern differences to discuss depending on your reply.

 

[55853]

Are we to assume you are talking about British or American higher education?

"Dorm", "math", "organize" are AmE, and the structure (math, Spanish, and chemistry classes) also suggest American higher education rather than British.

 

[Progster]

One trick that I have that works for me is to put my clock five or ten minutes forward. Then I'm much more likely to be on time, or even early.

 

[Judge]

"Dorm", "math", "organize" are AmE, and the structure (math, Spanish, and chemistry classes) also suggest American higher education rather than British.

Exactly. That's why I wanted to confirm. Nothing indicating Britspeak...starting with the obvious- "uni".

The only people who previously responded are British. With a perspective of higher education that may well be somewhat more sympathetic and helpful than what the OP may encounter on our side of the pond relative to students on the spectrum. Where it will pay to further investigate whatever assistance may or may not be available.

I also can't help but wonder about institutional harshness and indifference prevailing towards undergraduates (particularly freshmen) at most any university in the US that I encountered back in the 70s. I have no idea if this has changed over the years. Where it was inherently rough being a freshman at most any university as opposed to say a community college. Institutions of higher education that effectively didn't "cut freshmen any slack" -by design.

And ultimately whether or not this is mitigated at the present for students formally diagnosed on the spectrum of autism. Things worth investigating to avoid any potential "nasty" surprises.

 

[Candypanda]

Institutional Harshness: harsh

I'd like to be employed after college and I am also really concerned that if this keeps up (its definitely happened before) I'm going to struggle to maintain a job. Any insight?

 

[Judge]

Institutional Harshness: harsh

I'd like to be employed after college and I am also really concerned that if this keeps up (its definitely happened before) I'm going to struggle to maintain a job. Any insight?

Probably best to focus on one hurdle at a time if at all possible. Graduating with a degree (any degree) isn't a simple proposition for most people.

I had my life all planned out after I graduated. Yet none of it ever happened as planned. Some would say that sucks, and others would just say, "That's life". That there are no guarantees.

But in adult life, yes- punctuality is critical. A dynamic that isn't likely to change.

 

[Bolletje]

Use a stopwatch to time yourself and find out how long things take.
Use this to plan more accurately.

 

[Judge]

It never hurts to have clocks on different walls of the same room. Small wonder my living room has four walls with multiple digital readouts on three of them.

Having a clock in your bathroom? That's ridiculous! No it's not.

Whatever it takes to become routinely conscientious of time itself.

 

[Mr Allen]

The timekeeping issue is why I sometimes wish I could drive and had a car, if you're reliant on public transport, it's often hard to guarantee being somewhere for a set time, although I do try very hard to time leaving in enough time to get to the 9 AM Tram before it leaves.

 

[Bolletje]

I hate being late, so I always take delays into account. And I plan too much time for each activity.
For example: I check which bus would get me to work on time, then plan to take the bus before that. That way I know that even if I have a delay getting to the bus, or the bus has a delay, at least I’ll be at work on time. I’m usually way early, but that leaves me time to get some work done before my colleagues arrive.

I plan my morning ritual in my head before I go to sleep and prepare as much as possible: preparing breakfast and lunch, laying out clothes, packing my bag and checking my alarm. When the alarm goes I can pretty much start the day on autopilot this way, all I have to do is get dressed and take my food, bag and keys.

 

[Tom]

Some suggestions:

Measure the time it takes to do things and get places. Do it a few times to get a real average. Then build in a extra 10 minutes in case delays occur.

Build checklists to help you prepare and not forget things.

For example: I need...
30 minutes to wake up.
20 minutes to get ready
15 minutes to drive/bus/whatever
10 minute walk
10 minute safety buffer

Keep a clock visible to refer to in the morning, a watch with you during the day. Check these often during transistions.

 

[Dwoops]

I’m currently a second year university student and I understand what it is like to hate being late and always wanting the same seat. It can be quite offputting if someone takes your seat.
I generally try to leave for my classes with about 5 minutes padding time before and after walking, plus an extra 5 buffer in case something happens or I need to use the restroom. With walking usually taking 10 minutes or so I usually leave 20-30 minutes before my class begins. This gives me plenty of time to not worry about timing and I almost always get my preferred seat. I then keep a free reading book or homework on me for the spare time that racks up.
Another thing is try to schedule your classes sequentially, I find it useful because I can just head from one to the next without the need to worry about timing. Make sure you check distances though, I once scheduled 2 classes 10 minutes apart and about 2/3 a mile away from each other, that was not a fun semester.
Anyways, I also like to know the timings/schedules for things, such as traffic lights. I know that each walk symbol lasts approx 24 seconds, and if I start walking as soon as it goes I’ll make it across the block right as the next crosswalk will be open. Ihave different routes I like to take and I have approximate times for each one, always planning as if I was walking slow to have extra time.
Best of luck.

 

[Judge]

I still recall the frustration of trying to find a parking space before class started. That could be stressful. Went through that for two years. Though I don't recall having actually missed any class time.

Another year where I parked so far away it wasn't a concern, and then one year where I lived on campus where walking to class was by far the easiest to estimate in time to and from class.

 

[tducey]

Explain your diagnosis, that should help. Also maybe try to get up a few minutes early each morning.

 

[FlowerChild]

Ahh, I totally get this! I really struggled in my early/mid-twenties with this. I agree with the routine aspect, and empathise with needing my regular seat, etc. As somebody who got through university after learning to manage these struggles, and is now an academic teaching at university, I just want to let you know there is definitely hope! I can also share my tips and tricks.

For me, the biggest benefit came from moving probably 80% of my morning routine, to the night before. About 2 hours before I want to go to bed, I have a 'bedtime routine' that prepares me for the next day.

Try to pay attention how complicated this is, as this is usually what a normal morning routine would look like. Seeing this all written out many years ago made me really understand why I found it so difficult. I would get so angry and frustrated and feel useless, but seeing this made me go 'wow, this is really not a list of 4 things (wake up, get dressed, leave home, walk/bus to class)--it's actually like 50+ tiny steps, that are parts of bigger steps like 'get dressed'. This made me understand myself and my executive functioning limitations a lot better, and now I've learned to cope with them!

The process is as follows:

1. Make sure I check my calendar - have I done all my readings, homework, etc. that I need for tomorrow's class? If I haven't, this gives me time to catch-up without staying up too late [if step one is not a problem, then the whole below list takes about 45 minutes).
2. Select a departure time that is organised before I even go to bed. I personally set my alarm for two hours before my departure time, because I don't want to leave feeling tired. If I need to take a bus, I choose the bus time before I even set my morning alarm the night before.
3. Set my alarms -- 1 on my phone as a gentle quiet wake-up. 5 minutes later, a quiet radio music alarm kicks in where I can't reach it (Across room), 5 minutes later another phone alarm, 10 minutes later my last-resort 'math alarm' which I cannot sleep through, as I must answer math questions for it to turn off. I use the 'Alarmy' app.
4. Plug my phone and computer in to charge overnight so they're never dead by morning (I used to be terrible with this)
5. Check the weather report for tomorrow.
6. Select an appropriate outfit for the weather, and lay this out neatly on my dresser (including everything down to socks, shoes, underwear, jewellery etc.). This removes what I considered the biggest, most complicated decision of my day, from happening before I feel 'awake'--I go to bed knowing I won't have to worry about it, and don't wake up anxious about choosing a socially and weather-appropriate outfit. If I realise I haven't done laundry, I have time to hand-launder whatever I need for that day (I used to always run out of socks and underwear, for example, and then not go to class because I'd have a meltdown realising that in the morning). I cannot emphasise enough how many morning meltdowns this has saved me!!!
7. Make my lunch and breakfast for next day (usually a yoghurt and muesli bowl for breakfast that I pre-prepare, and whatever I want for lunch, which I put on top of my breakfast in the fridge, so I can't forget to bring my lunch to uni/work).
8. Pack my bag for the next day with all essential items: bus pass, wallet, necessary books and readings, sunglasses, umbrella if necessary--everything I need for that day, in one place, so I can't forget anything.
9. Tidy my room, put away any clothes, etc. to save the panic of wading through messiness the next morning
10. Lay out my morning routine spread; set out my makeup, toothbrush, hair brush, house keys, in the same place every evening. Somewhere where I cannot 'miss' them in the morning, meaning I won't forget any of those important tasks, nor be late because I can't find my keys, make-up, whatever.
11. Shower, wash my hair if necessary, get into pyjamas, go to bed immediately afterwards (studies show going to bed with a higher body temp from showering helps you to fall asleep quicker, as does the routine).

My morning routine is SO simple in comparison:

1. Wake up, read news, straight out of bed before my 'emergency math alarm' goes off--I only switch it off once I'm out of bed, so I can't go back to sleep. I hate those math questions, so I'm super motivated to be awake and up, so I can turn it off before It actually goes off!
2. Do all necessary tasks immediately--straight to bathroom, wash face, do makeup and hair, get dressed (this usually only takes ~20 minutes with the 'night before' routine all done).
3. Make coffee
4. Drink coffee while I read news or watch a show on Netflix, relax for ~45 minutes. I NEED this time to 'wake up'.
5. Have breakfast (~20 minutes while I relax as in step 4), and while I'm getting breakfast from fridge, I put my lunch in my bag so I don't forget.
6. Brush my teeth
7. put on coat, grab bag, and leave

Hopefully this helps!

 

[Full Steam]

The only thing that has ever worked for me is this;

Think through the things you have to do, and come up with how long that will take.

Add in half an hour contingency.

My problem was more about inaccurately guessing time than anything else.

I also streamlined things and clothes choices - that cut out a lot of stress and messing about. I get confused if things are scattered about or if I have to make loads of little decisions like what to wear. Cut out superfluous decisions.

X clothes for Uni - ready in a pile.
X clothes for weekend - grab and wear.
Keys go here;
Bag goes here with spare paper and pen always in it.