uncovering potentials of Autistic

[epath13]

I've heard lots of parents say even if their children are not that old... she/ he's Autistic so I will have to take care of him/ her for the rest of my life... my son/ daughter will need constant help so I have to make sure it's provided... he does some odd things, we accept it, we want people around him to accept it as well... she doesn't communicate very well, that's just the way she is... all those are not negative statements and are said with best intentions but... I just have this nagging feeling that if not majority but significant amount of people don't really believe that people with Autism especially the ones on the lower side can advance. so in many cases they give up and try to deal with what they have in the best way they can. I've been thinking about people who are sick with some deteriorating disease, or brain damaged, or with some physical impalement but let's say... otherwise regularly developed, and possibly had normal lives before the condition. Some of them would give up, some would adjust but some would go above and beyond to prove that they can bend the limits.
Sometimes I think that when you have some sort of developmental disability...or maybe even any other one but let's say from birth, it's hard to believe that you can be something more than what you are. I think it's important for people surrounding that kind of person to believe in impossible for him/ her for a while so he/ she could realize it later one step at a time. It's very easy to be disappointed it's much harder to turn it into a fuel for improvement. The question is why should they do it? Trying to help an Autistic person is like walking in the dark. You never know what's waiting for you out there. Even if you are on the spectrum yourself you still can't fully understand what's going on in a mind of another one on the spectrum. So should every parent believe and try to go above and beyond especially when their resources are very limited? Some people say - they don't have to, that they didn't sign up for having a child with disability, they just have to do they best they can.
Imagine you walk in the middle of the woods with a group of friends and then suddenly you fall into a hole in the ground. They try to reach you, they throw you a rope but nothing works. After all this some will leave, some will stay for a while maybe will try to cheer you up and things like that. And imagine that the hole is so deep that they can barely hear you. You might have advised them a good way to get you out but they can't understand. I know the allegory (hope I used the word right ) might not be very realistic... but I hope it's clear.
I think I'm going to end here. It's 1am and it's a busy day tomorrow.
What do you think about all this? Should people try to uncover those hidden potentials or should they at some point convince themselves that it's impossible, or that they reached the dead end?

 

[190]

Call me screwed up if you will, but I came to this conclusion about Aspie-ness:

Advantage: Very very determined in whatever we are interested (read: want to do)
Disadvantage: Social skills

Some disadvantages like lack of social skills, conversational skills, etc have to be overcome. The best is to start fighting it when young, but if you delay then it just gets harder and harder. Anyway, its not like NTs don't have to learn - just read the news and you'll see stories of NT gaffes everyday.

Some other disadvantages don't need to be overcome. Everyone, be it NT, AS, ADHD, or whatever else, has their own quirks. All these make the person unique. So long as it is still roughly socially acceptable, you can still get by with these quirks.

Then the idea is to maximise your advantage at whatever you like, and if possible make it a career. Now with the information age, information is a lot easier to get, so its much easier to choose what you want to obsess yourself over.

There are plenty of setbacks along the way, but its like that for everyone else. It just remains for someone to pick themselves up, tell themselves that its possible to succeed and go on. I don't wish to say I'm a success or anything like that, but there are enough success stories on the forum already that you can refer to.

 

[Geordie]

In short, it will be useful to let the different autistic people know that they have obstacles ahead, so they may not succeed without a lot of hard work put in. But at the same time, unlock their ability to stay focused and on track for whatever they want.

It is impossible, for example, for a person plagued with both depression and challenging behaviour, especially in people with more severe levels of developmental disability, to do jobs involving extensive and sustained social focus, like social work or allied educators. Yet these people have a high probability of going through what others like them had gone through - sometimes, surprisingly, more effective than people who have not gone through similar rough patches.

Maximizing potentials is always an oft-quoted term in business organizations and autism organizations.

To do so, some people choose to sleep 2 hours every day, just to do lots of revision, a part-time job outside, night lessons, other commitments etc. just to get by day by day. Some people choose to give up their family commitments just to pursue their dreams in their career, and single-handedly do just that. There are always opportunity costs, something we give up, to achieve success.

What do you think about all this? Should people try to uncover those hidden potentials or should they at some point convince themselves that it's impossible, or that they reached the dead end?

I think to answer this question, let us examine this hypothetical question first:

If autism/our conditions comes in an unique package that, along with it, comes with both unique thoughts that moves and shake the world, and inability to relate with others socially, do you rather throw away that special package and just be a non-autistic self?

I tend to see things in two views:

For those people subscribing to Autism Rights Movement's views, we'd rather keep the package and say, we try to uncover the package while at the same time, improve the adaptability and portability to make our voices heard even clearer.

For those people who are more into Autism Speaks' opinions, we'd want to throw away our autism and hopefully be like any other human being.

But for me, I think there are a lot of possibilities. One of them could be integrating both schools of thought.

Indeed, autism still does negatively affect us in our ability to really function socially. Autism also positively make us very, very determined. How can we manage to have some social ability to know what we are expected to do, while at the same time, managing societal pressures in a competent manner that keeps us in strong positioning to become a better individual?

To uncover the potentials of autism, may I suggest that perhaps we do not see autism as a 'special difference' or a 'disease'. We should see a person holistically. We should see a person as what he is.

I believe a person should cover his basic needs first, before he moves up to the higher needs of a human being. This is what social scientists such as Abraham Maslow investigated. When one is well-fed, well-clothed and has a roof over his head, when one is safe and secure against adverse situations, when one discovers and makes meaningful emotional relationships with others, when one is accepted by himself and others, and when one know what he can do to achieve his potentials, and when one can have the ability to go beyond himself - then he will live a fully developed life.

To uncover the abilities of an autistic person, he should, under current societal conventions, strive to lead a complete life within a societal setting,and maybe there is a need to really first enable him to function within a group setting before he really sets out to achieve his dreams. Some autistic people, in my observations in the past, fail to pass the bar. But it would be a worthwhile experience to try, aim and reach one's personal goal to lead a complete, fulfilling life - regardless of the eventual success.

 

[epath13]

Thanks guys for the replies. But I might have not been very clear myself. What I was trying to say is that it seems that help for Autistic or many other people with disabilities often organized around accommodation rather than development. There 3 major issues that many Autistic people face - communication and self expression (expression of what they think and feel so other people can understand), sensory processing and motor planning, the last one is more of a consequence - ability to live independently. I'm not going to talk about any other issues here. ... I have this process going on in my mind but I can't quite express it I'm afraid if I express it in a symbolic way nobody will get it... let's say there's a creature covered with some piece of cloth tied with ropes, a person unties the creature thinking it's another human being but then realizes it's not. The person tries to communicate with the creature and it works at some basic level but when the creature tries to express more complex thoughts and feelings the person doesn't understand and decide to accept the misunderstanding. So the person decides for the creature how his life should be and creature has no choice but to agree because he can't express what he truly deeply wants....
this is only one issue...one part of a problem...only one. a gap between 2 worlds.

Let me just talk about solutions a little bit, hypothetical solutions.
If a person has motor planning issues, poor muscle tone, fine motor issues - it should be addressed. It should not be disregarded.
If a person has speech problems - you shouldn't say - eh well, maybe he'll talk one day. instead it can also be addressed.
Sensory sensitivity can be addressed and managed, but from my experience it shouldn't be eliminated because it can be useful.
Information processing, sequencing, mind flexibility - all that can be addressed and proper exercises advised.
And on and on and on.

What I see is that lots of therapists are often stuck on one type of training, and moreover they don't know nothing about anything else. People tend to pull blankets towards each others sides and fight over stupid things instead of just addressing what's important. Some specialists start claiming they know what Autism is and how it feels without being on the spectrum. In addition to that tones of scientists and regular folks blame the chemistry and biology and what not. In all this mess people are lost in their worlds and their families are desperately looking for answers.

When I named the post "uncovering potentials of Autistic" I meant not only finding some special interest or talent, which seems to be very helpful, for building future career and for general development and learning; but also helping Autistic person with physical and brain training.

Social skills are a tiny tip on an iceberg. Many NTs don't have very good social skills either. In our society it is important to know how how to socialize but...sometimes it seems that Autistic people have to learn social skills in order to blend in. Now I'm thinking about it and it feels wrong. Everybody have to learn social skills in order to respect each other and accept each others differences. If you concentrate only on standard politeness you're completely ignoring underlying meaning of communication. Communication is about connection to others and that's what we should concentrate on. And... If someone doesn't feel like connecting to hundreds of people but only a few on occasion it shouldn't be considered as negative but different.... Yeah... there're lots of things that can be addressed... the only problem is - it's hard and like any challenging task it can be completed one step at a time over prolonged period of time.

Sometimes I wonder if Autism has been given to our world to wake it up...

 

[Geordie]

Sometimes I wonder if Autism has been given to our world to wake it up...

Imo, YES. It does. No matter what to say, autism is an unique ability, whether we are on the ARM or not. It's just a catch-all term to describe us having the potential to challenge societal convention to do greater things in our life, that others haven't done due to 'social conventions'.

I'd enough of empty pessimism, seriously.

Time to focus on what we can do in life.