Trying to figure things out...

[BlackWolfie555]

I just joined Aspie Central, but I've been lurking about for a few weeks.

My boyfriend of almost 2 years asked me a few weeks ago if I had ever been tested for Aspergers. Since the conversation, I've been doing a lot of reading and a lot of what I've read makes me feel comforted and scared at the same time. I'm reading that there are other people who do the same odd things that I've never been able to understand why I do or ever realized that it wasn't 'normal' for other people.

Frustratingly enough, I talked to my mother about some of the things and while she doesn't remember my childhood much (an AS diagnosis would make sense for her too) she is adamant that I'm just peculiar and there is no way what-so-ever. I can't ask my dad because he believes these disorders are made up by big pharma...

I'm interested in talking with other self diagnosed and officially diagnosed people to see if I should pursue diagnosis or if it would be pointless.

Thanks.

 

[Nitro]

I'm sure you will get plenty of answers and support from our forum and friendly members.

 

[xudo]

Welcome

Frustratingly enough, I talked to my mother about some of the things and while she doesn't remember my childhood much (an AS diagnosis would make sense for her too) she is adamant that I'm just peculiar and there is no way what-so-ever. I can't ask my dad because he believes these disorders are made up by big pharma...

My parents are very dismissive of my diagnosis. My Mum was even there when I was diagnosed by a Professor of Neuroscience...

I'm interested in talking with other self diagnosed and officially diagnosed people to see if I should pursue diagnosis or if it would be pointless.

Personally, I would say that seeking a diagnosis is never pointless.

 

[BlackWolfie555]

Welcome



My parents are very dismissive of my diagnosis. My Mum was even there when I was diagnosed by a Professor of Neuroscience...



Personally, I would say that seeking a diagnosis is never pointless.

I kind of feel that trying to get diagnosed without any input from my parents will just result in other diagnosis or they will write me off as just crazy and prescribe an antidepressant. Which would be useless. I'm not depressed, just super fidgety and kinda hyper.

Thanks for your support.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Welcome!

In terms of pursuing a diagnosis, personally, I air on the side of if you're coping fine with life, you have relationship, a job, no mental illnesses or bad life struggles then I wouldn't say you need a diagnosis. Some people like to pursue one just because they want it to be validated, which is.. fine but it can take a long time and in a lot of countries cost you money. You have to ask yourself if you think it's truly worth it.

I can't ask my dad because he believes these disorders are made up by big pharma.

I would have had to retort with saying that there is no medication to treat autism therefore why would they just invent something like that if they were to cash in on it?

Again, welcome!

 

[BlackWolfie555]

Welcome!

In terms of pursuing a diagnosis, personally, I air on the side of if you're coping fine with life, you have relationship, a job, no mental illnesses or bad life struggles then I wouldn't say you need a diagnosis. Some people like to pursue one just because they want it to be validated, which is.. fine but it can take a long time and in a lot of countries cost you money. You have to ask yourself if you think it's truly worth it.




I would have had to retort with saying that there is no medication to treat autism therefore why would they just invent something like that if they were to cash in on it?

Again, welcome!

View attachment 32867

I'm mostly coping. I'm having some ADHD and social (mainly work) issues. Also the validation I think would help me personally, but I'm not sure I want to go through a long fight of misdiagnoses or second and third opinions.

My dad thinks anything that isn't strictly medical is made up. He's charming...

Thanks!

 

[Aspie_rin]

As Southern said, there's no medication for people with autism (though ADHD medication can help on some aspects, but if you're already diagnosed with ADHD you probably have them) so the Big Pharma argument doesn't apply. Though I've heard that it's hard to get an autism diagnosis BECAUSE there are no pills for it (I don't know if it's true, but it's believable)XD

And yeah, your dad seems like a wonderful guy...

 

[BlackWolfie555]

As Southern said, there's no medication for people with autism (though ADHD medication can help on some aspects, but if you're already diagnosed with ADHD you probably have them) so the Big Pharma argument doesn't apply. Though I've heard that it's hard to get an autism diagnosis BECAUSE there are no pills for it (I don't know if it's true, but it's believable)XD

And yeah, your dad seems like a wonderful guy...

Unfortunately the ADHD is not officially diagnosed either... Mainly because of the way I was raised, I just thought I was odd. Thanks for your input!

 

[Aspie_rin]

ADHD is easier to get diagnosed for, I just had a 15 min talk with my pediatritian and left with a prescription. While it's technically an official diagnosis, I don't really feel it's a good one (15 min, no testing, seriously?!), I think autism fits me better (and there's a lot of similarities between the two)

I'm still glad I have the diagnosis, though. Since aspergers and ADHD share some traits, I can still get help despite not being an official aspie

 

[BlackWolfie555]

ADHD is easier to get diagnosed for, I just had a 15 min talk with my pediatritian and left with a prescription. While it's technically an official diagnosis, I don't really feel it's a good one (15 min, no testing, seriously?!), I think autism fits me better (and there's a lot of similarities between the two)

There is a lot of similarities, but there is no medication for Aspergers, if I got calmed down a bit from the ADHD, I think it would help me.

I usually have a hard time communicating things like this to doctors though. Glad you got a little help, and hopefully you can get the right DX.

 

[Aspie_rin]

Try to print out a description of ADHD (from a reliable source) and underline everything that applies to you, then hand it to your doctor. You'll probably find it easier that way.

 

[BlackWolfie555]

Try to print out a description of ADHD (from a reliable source) and underline everything that applies to you, then hand it to your doctor. You'll probably find it easier that way.

I'm actually doing that exact same thing with Aspergers before even finding a specialist. The idea of seeking a diagnosis is making me anxious, but I'll probably make a list for both.

Thanks for the idea!

 

[Judge]

My dad thinks anything that isn't strictly medical is made up.

Ouch. Sounds like he doesn't have a clue about the distinctions between neurology and psychology.

Being on the spectrum of autism is a neurological consideration. With any number of traits and behaviors at varying amplitudes in which we may or may not have some degree of control over.

It's not about attitude, which would be a psychological consideration.

 

[ksheehan88]

I just joined Aspie Central, but I've been lurking about for a few weeks.

My boyfriend of almost 2 years asked me a few weeks ago if I had ever been tested for Aspergers. Since the conversation, I've been doing a lot of reading and a lot of what I've read makes me feel comforted and scared at the same time. I'm reading that there are other people who do the same odd things that I've never been able to understand why I do or ever realized that it wasn't 'normal' for other people.

Frustratingly enough, I talked to my mother about some of the things and while she doesn't remember my childhood much (an AS diagnosis would make sense for her too) she is adamant that I'm just peculiar and there is no way what-so-ever. I can't ask my dad because he believes these disorders are made up by big pharma...

I'm interested in talking with other self diagnosed and officially diagnosed people to see if I should pursue diagnosis or if it would be pointless.

Thanks.

Welcome

I started out my journey because a friend had been diagnosed and I wanted to know how to be the best I could for him.

I came here and through reading others' posts I realised I identified with much of what I saw, and like you things I have always done or felt which I never realised NTs didn't, I now know could be related to being on the spectrum.

My Mum refuses point blank to believe I have Aspergers, as well as refusing to believe 2 of my 3 children may have (even though they have both been accepted for referral and assessment, as have I.)

I'm sure you will get much advice and support here, I always do

 

[Katleya]

I would have had to retort with saying that there is no medication to treat autism therefore why would they just invent something like that if they were to cash in on it?

I don't think I have words or emojis to express how much I agree with this, but gosh, yes!!!

Back to the topic:
Welcome
Maybe a 2-time approach would be wise?
If you feel the diagnosis for ADHD is fairly easy to get, and that the resources/medication available will help a little already, I would start with that before embarking on a time-consuming, stress-inducing, costly journey (aka getting an AS diagnosis).
See how much that helps to begin with. It doesn't prevent you from learning more about Asperger's or from finding ways to cope more efficiently based on the information available here and in books.
I suppose validation is a very subjective thing. If you trust your judgement and self-knowledge enough, perhaps you won't need more than your self-diagnosis, but if you need to apply for disability, or need adjustments at work and such, then there's no way you can get that help without an official diagnosis. On the other hand, if you only plan on telling very few people around you, I don't know... part of me would say that you don't need it, but another part would say your parents won't believe you otherwise. At the same time, a diagnosis is harder to get as an adult, and parental cooperation definitely helps. You don't want your parents dismissing every behavior or stalling the interview by claiming they don't remember.

From what I've read and experienced, finding a psychiatrist or neurologist who will help you with that diagnosis takes some trial and error, which can be very rough (misdiagnoses, wrong medication, associated stigma with certain misdiagnoses, sometimes hospital commitment... and time and money you're basically flushing through the toilet treating the wrong disorder).
So in terms of pursuing an official diagnosis, I'd definitely ponder the intended usage, as well as how you're coping vs. how hard it makes things, and time/funds available.

I'm sorry your parents haven't been supportive so far. Maybe with time you can "educate" them on Asperger's and help them develop that support.

 

[jamesaldrin]

Welcome!

My dad is similar to yours. He thinks anything that doesn't kill you is ********. He even told me once that I don't have Aspergers, although he meant it in a positive way (ie you'll do fine in life you don't have any serious problems). It's still annoying. I never try to talk about my quirks wbith him because I know he'll ignore what I say - and telling him about my generalized anxiety disorder will never happen because I know he'll brush it off similarly. I know that he just means that we should tough out things that don't kill us, but it would be nice to talk about myself to him once.

I guess he's seen too much stuff in life to think about non-severe disorders.

 

[BlackWolfie555]

I have a lot to think about. With regards to family, I think I'll drop it for now because the person who matters most in my life sees it and supports me in anything I need.

Thanks for everyone's input. I like hearing about everyone else.