Too many jobs ... How do I cope?

[Stik]

Once upon a time I worked in a dusty old building designing ads, trying to get people to buy or do stupid things, for a newspaper. I did this for a looooong seven years, which is the first time I lasted more than a year at a job. Towards the end everything became unbearable and I needed to get out. It was my first job out of college and I should've left before I got burnt out. After having a fallout with my boss I started exploring other jobs I'd be interested in and for some reason I thought it would be nice to work with people that have disabilities. So I quit the paper and started caring for people with disabilities. I loved it but hated my coworkers ... I just couldn't fit in. So I tried another company and the same thing happened plus I got a client that wouldn't stop screaming and I had an emotional breakdown. Now, finally, I have found my dream job. I assist special ed teachers and get to work one on one with students. I absolutely love it but I don't earn enough money doing it so I've gotten other side jobs to make up for it.

After a couple years off I feel comfortable doing side graphic design jobs again, that helps in the money department. I also have a craft business that I keep going back and forth on. There is one store that sells my stuff and I average about $100 a month. I help someone out with their pet birds, that's easy money. With all that I still wasn't making enough so I got a part time job at a fabric and craft store which isn't a whole lot of money but it's more reliable income and I get a discount. On top of that I recently moved with my boyfriend to a trailer because I'm facing foreclosure on my town home which is taking forever and costing more money since I'm trying to do a short sale. Today, we just did a repair to the trailer that last nights wind caused only to find out that the wood underneath our siding is rotting. I'm lost for words. I had a slight emotional breakdown last night from working too much.

I can't handle all this work but I have to because we need money for repairs. I've been in the hospital twice because of anxiety and depression. I feel myself going down that road again but we neeeed the money. How do I cope to get through this hard time? I'm feeling like a failure and I often feel that I would be better off dead. Before I realized I have Asperger's I came to the conclusion that I just couldn't handle as much as the average person and when I treated myself to less work I was as happy as the average person. Everything seemed fine but then the bills started coming in. I'm slowly going crazy and I really don't want to mess up the job I love.

What should I do?!?! How do I deal with so much and not snap? I feel I might have a chance now that I FINALLY know what's different about me. Everything Asperger's is new to me and I'm hoping there's some experienced Aspies out there that can help.

 

[Judge]

I can relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed like that. Quite often I despair thinking my life is just one long "decaying orbit" that will end only one way.

When it happens, the first thing I do is to stop thinking about necessary goals beyond the next 12 hours. I compartmentalize my life and live no more than one day at a time in my own best interest. It allows me to ration my most precious resource- myself.

It's not perfect, but it's a form of "pain management" for me. It doesn't make my problems go away, but it does allow me to cope with them better.

 

[Stik]

When it happens, the first thing I do is to stop thinking about necessary goals beyond the next 12 hours. I compartmentalize my life and live no more than one day at a time in my own best interest. It allows me to ration my most precious resource- myself.

I will have to try harder at this. I try to tell myself to just worry about today but then I start thinking about when my next day off is and I get overwhelmed.

 

[Judge]

I will have to try harder at this. I try to tell myself to just worry about today but then I start thinking about when my next day off is and I get overwhelmed.

The balance due of life can be pretty tough at times. There's nothing wrong with living with it on an installment plan.