There any good reasons to find a wife in these times?

[Cryptid]

I want to find a wife because I want the feeling of being engaged and I want a wedding. I’ve been tempted to buy a ring and just start proposing, that’s how much I want this.

Am I correct in assuming that it is not the relationship you want as much as you want to experience certain events?

 

[BewilderedPerson]

Am I correct in assuming that it is not the relationship you want as much as you want to experience certain events?

To some extent, yes. I’d still like to have it, but I need to have those events play out before I die because I need to live out some fantasies I have and things I want to do at my wedding.

 

[Cryptid]

I have known people who focussed so much on every detail of their weddings that they never prepared themselves to have what it takes to maintain their actual marriages. Each ended up divorced and even more miserable than before.

 

[BewilderedPerson]

I have known people who focussed so much on every detail of their weddings that they never prepared themselves to have what it takes to maintain their actual marriages. Each ended up divorced and even more miserable than before.

That is possible, but really, the wedding is what I’m most looking for. So, even if it ended in divorce, not necessarily what I’d want, but as long as I got my wedding, my way, everything I wanted, I can’t complain too much.

I’ve got it all planned out in my head, just need a bride.

 

[Aspychata]

Why don't you just hire some people and have a pretend wedding? Video tape it too. I don't think you work from the wedding down to the bride, usually it works in reverse. I was married at the beach in Kahala area in Honolulu. So beautiful and free area also. Then a hired limo drove us past beautiful beaches and we sipped on champagne, then we had dinner and entertainment in a private room at a hotel on the beach also.

 

[Dagan]

Yeah, you would essentially be putting on a stage play, and aside from a few scripted plot points, you can let everyone improvise.

 

[BewilderedPerson]

Yeah, you would essentially be putting on a stage play, and aside from a few scripted plot points, you can let everyone improvise.

Why don't you just hire some people and have a pretend wedding? Video tape it too. I don't think you work from the wedding down to the bride, usually it works in reverse. I was married at the beach in Kahala area in Honolulu. So beautiful and free area also. Then a hired limo drove us past beautiful beaches and we sipped on champagne, then we had dinner and entertainment in a private room at a hotel on the beach also.

I have considered that, yes, but it’s more than just that. It’s also about the reception. I need to DJ my own reception, and I need to have a microphone and I need to be center of attention with all eyes on me. I need to be the most important person I the room that day.

I also need me and my groomsmen to wear special costumes, which I know what I want to get married in.

On top of that, I need to have to top billing for the wedding instead of bride’s name and groom’s name, for me, it has to be groom’s name and bride’s name.

Yes, I’m a groomzilla, very much so, but I’ve got this all planned out from pre-wedding photos the day of, with my groomsmen, to the actual ceremony, to the reception.

I just need a bride at this point, don’t really care who it is.

 

[elastogirl]

I’ve seen a lot and read a lot. And frankly it’s depressing concerning marriage. But, I wanted to hear from the community on it.
Your experiences and what you know.

I think it's a matter of knowing who's good for you, and not settling for a lifetime of misery because you're lonely. This requires some thinking work, since we're not the most instinctual people on the planet. People on the spectrum aren't great at "hearing" the messages from their instinct because the volume is "turned down". So when they meet someone that's not suitable, they might not pay attention to, or discount, the warnings from their instinct. It's good to get into the habit of knowing and looking out for these red flags, like unkindness (disguised as humor), anger issues, gaslighting, lying, manipulation, evasiveness, double talk, unwillingness to clarify or discuss issues, etc. Or look at interests: what if they don't really love scifi or whatever, like you do? They might be suitable for others, but ask yourself: do you want a lifetime of any of this?

 

[Judge]

On top of that, I need to have to top billing for the wedding instead of bride’s name and groom’s name, for me, it has to be groom’s name and bride’s name.

Yes, I’m a groomzilla, very much so, but I’ve got this all planned out from pre-wedding photos the day of, with my groomsmen, to the actual ceremony, to the reception.

I just need a bride at this point, don’t really care who it is.

Sounds like your needs are primarily about form- not substance. A disaster in the making in terms of much of any long-term relationship.

Imagine getting married, then retiring to your hotel suite and not caring, let alone what to do next. All because it was about the wedding- not a marriage.

Or as they say, "Putting the cart in front of the horse."

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The largest future challenge to the human race is depopulation. Nobody gets hooked up have kids. I did my bit had two my sons did their bit had one if she does not do her bit in the future where are we? I's possible in a few more generations the human race may no longer exist.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I just need a bride at this point, don’t really care who it is.

Sometimes I forget how hard can impact autism in someones life.

I hope you wont be scamed.

 

[Wolfnox]

like unkindness (disguised as humor), anger issues, gaslighting, lying, manipulation, evasiveness, double talk, unwillingness to clarify or discuss issues, etc

Pretty much everything I witness and expect.

 

[Dagan]

You basically want the Catalina Wine Mixer, haha. Like in Stepbrothers. You do you, though. It sounds fun, just maybe have to make everyone understand everything beforehand.

 

[Tom]

Yes, absolutely. I could probably think of dozens, but three reasons that jump right out at me are 1) Two heads are better then one. 2) Substantial increase in family firepower. 3) Lifelong companionship (assuming you are a great match, firmly believe in a lifelong bond and are both willing to work like hell to make it work). Btw, as others have mentioned the institution of marriage hasn't really changed for a few generations. It's the people who have.

 

[AspieChris]

I want to find a wife because I want the feeling of being engaged and I want a wedding. I’ve been tempted to buy a ring and just start proposing, that’s how much I want this.

Don’t do that. Any person who would say yes on a whim like that will end up making you miserable in the long run.

 

[BewilderedPerson]

Don’t do that. Any person who would say yes on a whim like that will end up making you miserable in the long run.

I appreciate you looking out for me, just want to have this wedding, have some kind of peace of mind before I die.

Sometimes I forget how hard can impact autism in someones life.

What I posted before has no value for the OP at all.

I hope he wont be scamed.

I hope he, not anyone, will be scammed for that matter. Keep in mind that I have the same diagnosis. I listed my reasons for wanting a wife, just that some of my bigger reasons are less conventional.

That being said, if OP wants a wife, I believe in him he can have one.

 

[Shaped01]

Well, from the perspective of someone who has been with the same woman for 37+ years, all I can say is we are entering an era in our society where there there is a breakdown in so-called "traditional family values". There's blame to be shared all around, but overall, it's a combination of selfishness, narcissism, a lack of communication skills, a lack of respect, fear-based controlling behaviors, a judicial system that rewards one person and destroys another, and causes a lot of psychological trauma for everyone involved, especially if there are children. Throughout time, there have always been examples of "bad behavior" from one, the other, or both partners. Our grandparents and great grandparents experienced this, as well.

However, only some couples experience any of this. Some have it all figured out, but having said that, it takes two with a desire to learn about each other, with respect, even if there are disagreements. HOW we communicate is so critical. Emotional outbursts during critical communication is so destructive. Disagreements WILL happen. It's inevitable, but how a couple deals with it, an emotional argument, or a calm, logical, respectful discussion will determine the outcome of the relationship. All it takes is one to ruin it.

Two people walking the same path, working as one, is a beautiful thing. Having two people with different skill sets is recommended, in my opinion. To work as a team, two people leaning on each other, balanced, making one good person, on a journey through life,...that is an amazing thing.

Nicely said. Wow.

 

[Au Naturel]

Yes, absolutely. I could probably think of dozens, but three reasons that jump right out at me are 1) Two heads are better then one. 2) Substantial increase in family firepower. 3) Lifelong companionship (assuming you are a great match, firmly believe in a lifelong bond and are both willing to work like hell to make it work). Btw, as others have mentioned the institution of marriage hasn't really changed for a few generations. It's the people who have.

View attachment 121944

She's hot!