The odd one out. Can anyone relate?

[karen70]

Its only been very recently that after doing a personal development course (person centred counselling) at college that I realised a lot of differences between myself and others.

All my life I've had this silenced cry for help and support, been fobbed off by doctors, dragged friends down with my never ending 'repetitive puzzles', lost people closest to me.

Yet, I wouldn't hurt a fly.

Since discovering this 'aspergers', i'm like 'where's my super power'?, 'where's my talent?'.

I feel like I really have the short straw and feel totally cheated.

Can anyone else relate to this?

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Yep. I don't have savant like talents like memorising dates or excel at a skill like painting. I feel overall like a mediocre person with no real talents and I do feel a little cheated. But I must say that despite this maybe it's not all doom and gloom, I should be happy that I don't problems with reading emotions, saying inappropriate things all the time or having problems with fine motor coordination. And I do like the benefits that come with AS such as having a good memory for facts; I rock at trivia games! My point is you need to look hard at yourself at what makes you a awesome human being and whether that's attributed to autism.

 

[karen70]

My short term memory is pants. I get distracted so easily that a ticking clock could drive me insane. My writing makes more sense than anything that comes out of my mouth. I guess that's my strength, its mad because I can write and type so fluent that I even surprise myself with some of the words that I come out with

But I am so lost in thought so much of the time. Mainly about gaps in my life, childhood, trying to make sense of things etc

 

[Tom]

Yet, I wouldn't hurt a fly.

Since discovering this 'aspergers', i'm like 'where's my super power'?, 'where's my talent?'.

True 'super power' or savant skill is about as rare in the AS population as in the NT population.

I think it s a misconception based on the more common ASD trait to be very focused. In reality anyone, AS or NT can get hyper focused on something and then achieve a higher level of knowledge or skill in that area. And in fact it has long been a maxim for professionals to specialize and try and be the best in your chosen area.

For an ASD person the focusing part can be more natural, easier perhaps. But its often tied to something really catching your interest (ie 'special interest' or obsession). And you still have to persue it in an NT world and do the minumum to function in that environment.

Not every aspie or autistic has special interests. Not all NTs know what they want to do either. In fact that may be the majority. In that case you just must choose the best path you can find to enable you to function/support yourself in life and be able to participate in the varied basic pleasures of life.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

You have more going for you than just that, that I can promise.

 

[Myway]

Yes. Sounds like me as well. So I can relate. But there is a lot more out there than you or I could see.

 

[Maelstrom]

My short term memory is pants. I get distracted so easily that a ticking clock could drive me insane. My writing makes more sense than anything that comes out of my mouth. I guess that's my strength, its mad because I can write and type so fluent that I even surprise myself with some of the words that I come out with

But I am so lost in thought so much of the time. Mainly about gaps in my life, childhood, trying to make sense of things etc

my short term memory is garbage too and I'm easily distracted, I wish I was as good at you on the writing my creativity is wonderful...everything else on writing slips into Hell..
But I have other talents to burn the world to the ground with.... a few people wishing right now they took me more seriously in the past.....nothing like a little poetic karma to brighten your day.

 

[On the Inside]

I understand, while I have some talents and interests that have kept me employed all my adult life, my organizational skills are rubbish and my focus needs to be fairly narrow or I'll get nothing done. And since my social shortcomings and erratic verbal skills make it hard to "sell" myself, I've limited myself to just how far any skills and talents I have might take me.

It is important not to get wrapped up in the "Aspie savant" trap. Not easy, since that seems to be the way most people relate to us. I've had people try to encourage me by talking about the Aspie genius they worked with, or the brilliant professor they had in college who must have been on the spectrum. Why, I could just be like them and problem solved.

Like Tom said, there isn't any more likelihood that an Aspie is a genius than an NT would be.

 

[Maelstrom]

I understand, while I have some talents and interests that have kept me employed all my adult life, my organizational skills are rubbish and my focus needs to be fairly narrow or I'll get nothing done. And since my social shortcomings and erratic verbal skills make it hard to "sell" myself, I've limited myself to just how far any skills and talents I have might take me.

It is important not to get wrapped up in the "Aspie savant" trap. Not easy, since that seems to be the way most people relate to us. I've had people try to encourage me by talking about the Aspie genius they worked with, or the brilliant professor they had in college who must have been on the spectrum. Why, I could just be like them and problem solved.

Like Tom said, there isn't any more likelihood that an Aspie is a genius than an NT would be.

Perhaps you are right....my view of the savant word may be less romantic than yours....as it simply means you have a over developed brain sector or two.....it is a two edged sword, as matching weak sectors generally come with it too.....I do not hide my weak sectors either....I own it all...good and bad....me is me.

I have grown tired of peoples defenciveness on such things....it is what it is.....if I have to hide too much stuff to be friends with someone.....I just toss them. I don't cater to such stupid dramas, my time and friendship are valuable, if they don't value me enough to at least make half a effort to be fair and nice, I move on.

 

[karen70]

Thank you for your replies all.

I think I could write a book on my life story, but whether it'd sell or not would be a different story..... 'will this sell?', there you go that could be the second book title.

However, I am still learning. The learning is what I have come to enjoy. Its the mental overload and trying to shift the constant mess in my head whilst trying to absorb the new stuff that is so damn hard. Its like trying to watch a film on tv whilst wearing head phones that blast heavy metal.

Right now as I type, my son is upstairs wearing head phones and singing (loud!!!!!!!) whilst playing fifa 16 on his playstation... how does he do that?! And this damn clock is way too close to where my desk is!!!!!!!!

I have to laugh at myself at times.

 

[Maelstrom]

I understand, while I have some talents and interests that have kept me employed all my adult life, my organizational skills are rubbish and my focus needs to be fairly narrow or I'll get nothing done. And since my social shortcomings and erratic verbal skills make it hard to "sell" myself, I've limited myself to just how far any skills and talents I have might take me.

It is important not to get wrapped up in the "Aspie savant" trap. Not easy, since that seems to be the way most people relate to us. I've had people try to encourage me by talking about the Aspie genius they worked with, or the brilliant professor they had in college who must have been on the spectrum. Why, I could just be like them and problem solved.

Like Tom said, there isn't any more likelihood that an Aspie is a genius than an NT would be.

Actually I never said I was a genius I said I was maybe? a imaging savant like Temple Grand, some may claim what I do is more like a parlor trick....my results speak for themselves. If you feel I give aspies a bad name I apologize but at this point there is little I can do to un-ring the bell or stop what is coming.
Churchill was in the same position as me before WWII started nobody wanted to hear anything.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Another aspie with a complete lack of 'super powers' here Aspergers makes me a socially awkward, anxious, with rubbish short term memory, non-existent planning ability, sensory issues, and an obsession with fiction that gets in the way of doing anything useful. Oh the joy. No awesome abilities here. I count myself very lucky that I'm on the mild end, good at faking to fit in, and intelligent enough to thrive in an academic environment despite being a bit of a mess otherwise.

Keep plugging away at what you enjoy (yay for learning!) and try not to let things get you down. There's a community full of people who understand it all right here

Actually I never said I was a genius I said I was maybe? a imaging savant like Temple Grand, some may claim what I do is more like a parlor trick....my results speak for themselves. If you feel I give aspies a bad name I apologize but at this point there is little I can do to un-ring the bell or stop what is coming.
Churchill was in the same position as me before WWII started nobody wanted to hear anything.

I'm pretty sure that On The Inside was responding to the OP, not to you...

 

[Maelstrom]

[QUOTE="NothingToSeeHere, I'm pretty sure that On The Inside was responding to the OP, not to you...[/QUOTE]
Thank you for pointing that out.... NothingToSeeHere as you can see I am not a savant on social cues, I miss things all the time forget things too, I definitely got the bad half of Einstien...can't spell to save my life either.

I get tagged on the savant thing a bit...reflex response.

Good luck with school.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

[QUOTE="NothingToSeeHere, I'm pretty sure that On The Inside was responding to the OP, not to you...

Thank you for pointing that out.... NothingToSeeHere as you can see I am not a savant on social cues, I miss things all the time forget things too, I definitely got the bad half of Einstien...can't spell to save my life either.

I get tagged on the savant thing a bit...reflex response.

Good luck with school. [/QUOTE]
No worries and thanks for the well wishes with school, I've already graduated but still appreciated I'm a research associate now so still clinging to the academic environment!

 

[Beverly]

"I have no talent." is something I hear a lot in my business. Okay so you aren't an actor or a musician, or any sort of entertainer. You aren't a tech guru nor a rocket scientist or even a mathematician. You still have talents.

Maybe you write, sew, cook, are a great organizer, have an keen eye for colors and patterns that go together, paint, draw, repair engines, tend amazing gardens, can befriend almost any animal. The list of possible talents I endless, just because it isn't one that puts you in the spotlight or, in trade magazines doesn't mean it's any less of a great talent to have and, probably one a lot of us in the limelight wish we had. (You'd be surprised what famous folks are envious of.)

 

[yesithinkso]

Same here. I had a good memory and was good at spelling when I was younger, but even then I didn't feel I had an exceptional talent. These days, maybe for lack of trying, I don't remember much and I sometimes think wierd is a word.

I think lack of Aspie superpowers is connected to lack of interests though. I was pretty good at reading because I did nothing but read. I imagine if I liked just a couple more things I'd be pretty good at them too, especially because I had nothing but time on my hands.

 

[karen70]

Yesithinkso, I think so too.

I think a lot of my time growing up was looking after my younger siblings. I think if I had been encouraged in any way then I do think I may have grown interests. I have always loved 'english' but I honestly can't remember having any books. I was given a record player and I think that is a very main reason for living in such a bubble.

I didn't realise just how 'limited' life had truly been until I started study over the last few years.

 

[Maelstrom]

"NothingToSeeHere,
Good luck with school.
No worries and thanks for the well wishes with school, I've already graduated but still appreciated I'm a research associate now so still clinging to the academic environment!

Sorry! I almost went back and put in the word Collage instead....but I had no clue what Byzantine Uper-graduate stuff you were into...etcetera! or if you were teaching too like my brother does.

I guessed you were walking the Hallowed halls in some form.

 

[EricD]

Does being a legally blind golf champion count as an Aspie super power? If it does, then my boss is Robin to my Batman, because he's my caddie at big tournaments! He has great depth perception, whereas mine is terrible.
He'll tell me to aim at a branch overhanging the left edge of the fairway and say it's 175 yards away. He gets me set up on the shot & fire away. The ball whizzes by the branch & lands in the left center of the short grass, right on target!

 

[lumi iii]

the savant thing is kind of wrong. some people with a special interest might develop that interest to the point that they are one of the best in their field, but that's it. some "savant" capabilities might also involve traits not specifically associated with autism, such as the guy who can draw cities by memory, who probably has a photographic memory as well as having art as a special interest.