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success stories

ovpt

Member
having some difficult times. major stress events over the past 10 years has led to worsening aperger's traits. not sure how much i can improve to previous levels or is that a fantasy. not even sure what it means to go back to prior levels of function as that may have been acted/compensated behaviors, whatever that means.

thanks for your imput
 
Me too but on the NT side. So an aspie point of view is appreciated and that is not just me and my other half that are going through this x
 
I found that having a baby 2 years ago made this happen. I feel like I didn't really have aspergers until this happened!
Because I was coping before. My home was mine and I could shut the door and do what I wanted. Go to bed when I wanted, sleep for a whole night, go out when I wanted and socialise when I wanted etc etc.
When you lose control of your decisions, or in your case most likely forced into situations you can't control, our traits heighten. We then are on the defence and reactive to the situation and not able to plan and prepare. This is horrible ground to be on because we can't cope.
So we adapt in the only way we can, to survive. And that does not always yield the best results and patterns.
The only way I've started to feel normal again is to really communicate with my partner and be selfish when in family situations because otherwise my brain cannot cope! I feel like I'm being a burden when I need his help when I have to take time out, go home or go for a nap. But I've come to realise, he'd rather that I had time out and came back better, than crashing and burning. And we all know how that one turns out.
You have to be selfish. For your own health and happiness. Sometimes selfishness is not a bad thing, it is for the greater good as such.
By doing this I'm slowly finding my way back. I feel for the past two years I've been a different person, angry, upset, ill. Medication helped, to give my brain a rest for a few weeks, enough to re-evaluate everything and see what I was doing.
I hope this helps. Don't be hard on your self, we're just trying to cope. :)
 
Oh and I enlisted help with things I couldn't cope with and spoke to the people around me. I got child care, spoke to my boss. He gives me exactly what I need now.
Now I'm back doing my PhD, family life seems to be working because I've stated what I need. I've put things in place to cope and take time for myself. It's working so far.
I'll never get back to who I was but that's because I'm a completely different person. I feel stable now though and I'm finding who I am today and not judging myself on who I was before, because I'll never measure up because my circumstances are very different now. I can only do and be my best today.
 

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