Routine makes me feel better

[grommet]

Today things didn't feel right and it was not until I started watching a television show that I have watched over and over that I felt better. It just seemed to put everything in place and I was calm.

All my life people have made fun of me or at their most kind, gave me odd looks when they found out about me enjoying something repetitive. Why? (rhetorical). It never hurts anyone when I do these things that make me feel so much better. These things make me feel calm and like I am at home finally. I re-read things, dozens of times. I have films I have seen until I memorized so well I had to wait a while before I could watch them again. There are television programs I have seen hundreds of times. I don't know why this bothers people so much.

I like routine. I need familiar. I eat the same thing at the same time (trying to change that for better digestion). I go to bed and wake up at the same times each day. I have routines all day and I really do not know why it can make people angry. It does not affect anyone but me. I am quiet and I live alone so what does it matter if I live differently than other people?

A few years ago a new person came over to my place and noticed how many digital thermometers I had. I had not noticed myself but I do like to know the temperature because I am so sensitive to it. So I had put them within view of all four directions.

My home is clean and my bills are paid. I have not been arrested and I don't make noise. When I am in line to see a cashier I will not move forward until the person ahead is finished and has left. I want to be polite to them.

If I don't cause trouble and my routines do not affect other people why do they have to comment on them and frown. Having routines works for me. It helps me a lot.

I wish aspies could just be aspies and people could accept them the way are.

 

[Jono]

Most of us prefer routines. I guess, the reason why people comment on them is because NT's see it as "odd".

 

[grommet]

My question then is, why do they care? Why don't they worry about hurting the feelings of the person they are commenting on, why do they feel it is okay to tell me they don't like what I do if, it doesn't involve them? I don't care if someone likes to count or fumble with things or has a collection that is very important to them. I met a woman who was obsessed with owls. I have no interest in owls at all but I am not angry with her because she does. Her having that interest does not affect me.

So why do people tell me that something I do, is odd? It can't help me. I cannot makes sense of it and it does make me feel bad when people do it.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Sometimes people comment on things because they are curious. Sometimes they hope that their comment will be followed by you expalining the reasons for something, and they think it might be an interesting conversation.
Sometimes they are just making small talk, they don't care too much about whatver they commented on, they were just using it as an opportunity to talk for the sake of talking.
Sometimes they are thinking badly of you, but very often they are not.
Although, I do understand how their comments make you feel uncomfortable; when my dad comments on things I do, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

[wyverary]

Well, stellaeres just said pretty much everything I was going to say. One thing to add...does it matter? Do you really owe an explanation to anyone? Never underestimate the value of a good "piss off" (although it should be used carefully, lol).

 

[garnetflower13]

I like to do things over and over, too. I play video games that I have played before, and are no longer a challenge because I figured out all the puzzles in them, but I find a strange comfort in playing it again and again. I also like to watch movies over and over, and I eat the same things for days at a time until I move onto something else. If people feel the need to have comments about it, I generally don't care. If they get upset, I- tell- them -to- get- a -life. But seriously, I find this behavior puzzling on the part of others, because I find it odd to care overly much what someone else likes to do. How on earth does it affect me?

 

[KinksFan]

I've always needed some sort of routine in my life. I like to know what days I'm working and what days I'm not. I like to do crafts on the days that I'm not working. I have certain websites that I like to go on in a particular order before I start my day. I must visit my parents on a Saturday at least twice a month. I also have my afternoon tea when I'm there. I like to go out with my friends at least three evenings a week. More evenings would be better. I also like to read a story or two from the 'Chicken Soup For The Soul' series before I drift off to sleep at night.

 

[Tia Maria]

Grommet, Who is it that cares that you keep to a routine? Outside of family members (& that's a different issue) I don't see how or why any person, NT or not, would care about your routines or how you manage your life. Most people I know prefer to have their life in order & keep to some sort of a routine. I also think that Ste11aeres provided a wonderful explanation for those people who ask questions or seem interested.

As far as routines though, one caveat is that sometimes life requires flexibility & being able to adapt, or make or accept changes 'on the fly' or at the last minute. Not being able to adapt or handle such occurrences could create 'issues' between friends, family members & loved ones, & with many jobs.

But how someone chooses to conduct their personal life is their own business & most people do prefer at least some routine. And especially as you stated, you live alone & are not bothering or interfering with anyone else. If watching a specific TV program helps you to feel calm & peaceful, you should watch it without worry as to what anyone else thinks about it. Everyone is different & our individual sanity depends on each of us accepting (& loving) ourselves just as we are.

I personally don't even see anything unusual or strange at all about how you described your life. As far as the thermometers, that's pretty convenient!

 

[Judge]

My question then is, why do they care?

Because it's sometimes perceived as alien to them. Routine, the discipline required to keep things regulated in a precise manner. It can be work to them. To us it's just routine. Our lives. No more, no less.

IMO to some that's sometimes perceived as a threat to their way of life...even though they are free to do otherwise. People can be mighty strange in terms of how they manifest fear and intimidation, even at times when it's not really there. A sort of mindless xenophobia.

 

[Tia Maria]

My question then is, why do they care? Why don't they worry about hurting the feelings of the person they are commenting on, why do they feel it is okay to tell me they don't like what I do if, it doesn't involve them?
So why do people tell me that something I do, is odd? It can't help me. I cannot makes sense of it and it does make me feel bad when people do it.

Grommet, I don't know why anyone would care, or why someone would feel the need to comment to you. Some people are just 'nosy bodies'. And unfortunately, there are a lot of rude & thoughtless people in the world. Maybe some people don't realize that others might be sensitive or offended by their comments. Others (as Ste11aeres & Wyv explained above) may just be curious etc.. But in any case, try not to feel badly when people do this. We can't control anyone else's behavior, but we can work on own reaction to it. No one can ever be happy or content if they let what other people say about or to them affect their mood. It can be hard though.

 

[Harrison]

I have strict routines in my home life as my working life lacks any routine outside of turning up. Routines keep me stable and in control, and as for what other people think, couldn't care less. Most people regard me as an eccentric and I can live happily with that

 

[Jono]

My question then is, why do they care? Why don't they worry about hurting the feelings of the person they are commenting on, why do they feel it is okay to tell me they don't like what I do if, it doesn't involve them? I don't care if someone likes to count or fumble with things or has a collection that is very important to them. I met a woman who was obsessed with owls. I have no interest in owls at all but I am not angry with her because she does. Her having that interest does not affect me.

So why do people tell me that something I do, is odd? It can't help me. I cannot makes sense of it and it does make me feel bad when people do it.

It seems to me that NT's often seem to care about things that seem strange to them. Sometimes they're curious, sometimes not.