Ready scripts for touch aversion?

[Jumpinbare]

So, if you're touch averse, do you have any standard response if someone wants/insists to shake hands/hug?
(As a child, I just squirmed away.)

 

[tree]

How to Show Affection when You Don’t Like Touching

Advice on building intimacy, even when you prefer space Physical affection can be a great way to show your favorite people how much you care about them—unless you don't like touching. If you're someone who doesn't enjoy when people touch...

www.wikihow.com

Autism, Autonomy, and Touch Avoidance | Disability Studies Quarterly

dsq-sds.org

 

[Jumpinbare]

I guess I should have asked if anyone had a standard verbal response. Also, it's not so much close people I'm concerned with (they pretty much know), but strangers, coworkers, etc

 

[vergil96]

do you have any standard response if someone wants/insists to shake hands/hug?

"I hate/don't like hugs"

And greet the person in some different way if you don't shake hands, so that they don't feel mistreated. Wave at them or whatever you actually enjoy doing. Do a bro fist.

 

[Judge]

Probably works for meeting most anyone in law enforcement.

Seriously though I suspect most people won't understand no matter what script is applied. And that yes, they're liable to default to feeling insulted. Not much you can do about it, IMO. It's the world we live in.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Do a bro fist.

Still touching hands.
I have blind young adult renting a room, and once in a  GREAT while I have to take him to doctors appointments when the local blind services are booked up. To navigate parking lots and get into the doctor's office, I have to be his sighted guide. That basically involves him placing one hand on my shoulder and using his cane in the other hand to feel for uneven ground, etc.
I understand the practically of this, and have just "taken one for the team" in the past. Yesterday I tried an experiment, putting a folded hand towel over the shoulder under my shirt. It worked great. I could feel pressure, but it didn't feel like a hand on my shoulder. He was still able to feel when I turned, slowed etc. We got in and out of the doctor's office without me experiencing the normal shudders, and not even needing to try to suppress them!
Now if I could find a way to pad my hand without it looking like an oven mit for those hand shakers...

 

[Tom]

I'll give you the same advice I give all touch adverse folks.

Join an Italian family.

 

[vergil96]

Still touching hands.

Than wave. Or do something else that you enjoy.

 

[Judge]

That is kind of funny. Trying on rare occasion to anticipate a fist-bump. Where you have to assess their age a half second before checking to see if their hand begins to become a fist.

Someone my age is not likely to give you a fist bump. But someone half my age....maybe.

LOL...life is so complex at times.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Here's one thing though- It is important that whenever someone reaches out a hand to shake, unless you are going to agree on something against your principles, you must always shake their hand.

Especially if they are homeless. You can secretly put on hand sanitizer if you feel you need it afterward. But you shake the hand of someone who offers it in friendship. You give the other person the dignity of acknowledging their equal status of humanity when you shake their hand.

It is difficult, I have slightly disassociated during a handshake, especially at a religious service where I'm shaking multiple hands. It is hard to without warning, look a stranger in the eye, smile, and shake their hand. But I always try to push through and show friendliness to each person.

If you remind yourself before you get there that there will be smiling people wanting to shake your hand and talk with you, you can prepare yourself.

 

[Aspychata]

I go through stages. But l don't like co-workers putting their hands on me. I complained about lady, who put her hands on my shoulders. It made me feel weird and uncomfortable.

 

[Jumpinbare]

You can secretly put on hand sanitizer if you feel you need it afterward
.

Hand sanitizer does nothing to prevent the flashbacks and resulting shudders after the encounter.

If you remind yourself before you get there that there will be smiling people wanting to shake your hand and talk with you, you can prepare yourself.

That is one of the two main reasons I stay away from socializing groups. The other is the chaotic sound of multiple conversations.

If I hafta attend, I hafta. Usually I don't hafta

 

[Outdated]

I never had a problem with shaking hands, except for many academics that give what I call a limp dick handshake. That feels horrible. I don't like being hugged by strangers, I'll put up with it from women in some circumstances but not from men. Men get their arm flicked away angrily and get told to never do it again.

 

[Fino]

I can suffer through hand shaking okay. Anything else, I just say that I'd rather not be touched. If they have a problem with that, do what you can to never see them again. Not necessarily because they may touch you but because a person who ignores a simple, polite boundary is showing a serious red flag.

 

[tjlxlh]

I never had a problem with shaking hands, except for many academics that give what I call a limp dick handshake. That feels horrible. I don't like being hugged by strangers, I'll put up with it from women in some circumstances but not from men. Men get their arm flicked away angrily and get told to never do it again.

This is called a "dead fish". It is a technique used to feel what kind of person you are. They are trying to gage if you are going to try to use a handshake to establish dominance. ALWAYS dead fish back. Throws em off. You'll notice a lot of wealthy people do it in business meetings, every interview I have had, has begun with a dead fish. Took me a while to figure out what was going on.

Most of my professors have done this when meeting them also. Snooty people do it a lot.

 

[Jumpinbare]

This is called a "dead fish". It is a technique used to feel what kind of person you are. They are trying to gage if you are going to try to use a handshake to establish dominance. ALWAYS dead fish back. Throws em off. You'll notice a lot of wealthy people do it in business meetings, every interview I have had, has begun with a dead fish. Took me a while to figure out what was going on.

Most of my professors have done this when meeting them also. Snooty people do it a lot.

That stinks

 

[Outdated]

This is called a "dead fish". It is a technique used to feel what kind of person you are. They are trying to gage if you are going to try to use a handshake to establish dominance. ALWAYS dead fish back.

Never dead fish back. They (in some cases) might be trying to gauge something about my character but in doing so they have portrayed themselves as being weak willed and untrustworthy. Certainly in a business world the handshake is very important, you have only a few short seconds to make a whole horde of judgements about people.

Yes, there's some people that'll try to demonstrate strength and dominance in a handshake. I'd certainly never employ one of those idiots either because you know that they're going to upset the harmony in your workplace.