• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

People staring at you.

I get stared at a lot. I have odd body language and facial expressions, have motor tics, etc. I hate it, but I've started to get used to it. I can't mask well and I've accepted that people are going to be weirded out by/curious about me and watch me.
 
Hylian said:
I get stared at a lot. I have odd body language and facial expressions, have motor tics, etc. I hate it, but I've started to get used to it. I can't mask well and I've accepted that people are going to be weirded out by/curious about me and watch me.
Click to expand...
I don't go through that, but every now and then I'll get a weird stare. Usually from some macho dude. I have no idea what they're reacting to, but it's like I've got my pants down or something. Annoying. That sounds like h*** for you.
 
Hylian said:
I get stared at a lot. I have odd body language and facial expressions, have motor tics, etc. I hate it, but I've started to get used to it. I can't mask well and I've accepted that people are going to be weirded out by/curious about me and watch me.
Click to expand...
I can understand how upsetting that can be. When I've been really unwell I've developed loads of unusual tics. Saying words over and over if I was feeling distressed. I've also experienced a really bad "knee jerk" eye contact aversion where my head would jerk sideways, I would try and force my head to stay still causing it to tic back and forward. If it had been something that happened all the time I would have been sure it was tourettes syndrome.

I think my meds are still doing a decent job of controlling things as it's been a long time since I've had things get that bad.

It used to be really distressing, particularly when people would find it amusing. I'm not sure if attitudes have improved in recent years, but when a tic does present itself, I've not been laughed at recently. Maybe it's less obvious or maybe it's because I'm a lot older then I used to be when it was really bad.

I hope that things will improve for you like they did for me.
 
MildredHubble said:
The thing we can never know about Fawlty Towers is if they had continued on for more seasons, would it have been as good? Would it still be a classic? We shall (sadly) never know!
Click to expand...
John Cleese? We KNOW it would’ve been a classic. How dare you doubt the master of silliness!

D90FE5E5-9CD5-4241-978B-D6C60968FF22.jpeg
 
Rodafina said:
John Cleese? We KNOW it would’ve been a classic. How dare you doubt the master of silliness!

View attachment 94338
Click to expand...
I'm sorry! I should never doubt him! You are quite right :)

Personally I would love to see some kind of follow up! Perhaps Basil Fawlty in a retirement home suffering under someone just like him and being on a mission to out crazy him and teach him a lesson! :) I would certainly watch that!

I also love Read Dwarf and I'm delighted they still make it from time to time :) Some misery guts complain that it's "ruining it's legacy" I say rubbish! :)
 
MildredHubble said:
Personally I would love to see some kind of follow up! Perhaps Basil Fawlty in a retirement home suffering under someone just like him and being on a mission to out crazy him and teach him a lesson! I would certainly watch that!
Click to expand...
Oh yeah, definitely. Brilliant.
 
People stare at me all the time…
I have a naturally rude-looking default facial expression even though I don’t mean to. I think people assume I’m judgmental and I think this has a lot to do with it.

As anyone else with a service dog or a visible disability knows, we are often treated like we are on exhibit at the carnival. Sometimes with people taking pictures and filming tiktoks or whatever. It’s so wrong. Like have some common decency. Something that a lot of the population is currently lacking.

But like others have mentioned here, it makes me extremely anxious and uncomfortable. Sometimes it leads to people teasing or harassing me and then I usually just panic and leave.
Occasionally I have a snappy comeback for them but that kind of reinforces people thinking I’m rude so it can escalate things.

I no longer attempt any sort of interaction in the grocery store and I try to spend less than 10 minutes in there. I completely avoid eye contact too except for with the cashier, if there isn’t a self checkout option.
I have never understood why people are so mean and aggressive while shopping for groceries. It’s not like we’re all fighting for our lives over a single package of lettuce.
 
Luca said:
I have a naturally rude-looking default facial expression even though I don’t mean to.
Click to expand...
My default expression is a silly grin, some people have even called me Mr Bean. I end up in a few fights because when people have a go at me they think I'm laughing at them.
 
I absolutely can’t stand people staring at me. If they do it to much I just ask them why are they looking at me . Usually get a nasty look when I ask . But sometimes , something positive comes out of it . “Like I think I know you “ or you have nice eyes has been mentioned to me before . I just can’t distinguish from the staring if it’s meant to be good or bad intention . So I just assume bad most of time .
 
I don't make eye contact...with anyone, thusly, I really don't notice if people stare. Usually I blend in well enough people don't even see me and I'm fine with that.
 
No, I don't believe I get stared at.

Some people get startled because they don't notice I'm there, though.
 
I have a resident at the nursing facility I work at with Alzheimer’s that gets really violent and sometimes he’ll just stare at me like he wants to hit me or something. It’s extremely unnerving. Being a nurse and being on the spectrum can be difficult. I’m really tired of having to deal with psych patients when our facility is not equipped to handle their needs. It just makes the job more stressful.
 
I don't look at other people in the eyes, so I'd have no idea if other people are staring at me or not. Doesn't stop me from worrying that they are but I just don't like to be looked at lol.
 
You have to pass a pretty high bar for people to stare at you. Most people are too absorbed in their own lives to even notice you. Even if you're acting unusual, they are far more likely to pointedly ignore you.

What happens is that very often we are self-conscious and imagine them staring at us.
 
I get stares a lot but I think now it's because of more positive reasons as opposed to the negative reasons in my past.

Throughout my late teenage years and early 20's I was thin, tall and had awkward posture. I've filled out with some muscle and am at a more healthy weight. I practice proper posture and have grown a full beard. I'm actually very fortunate and thankful I can grow a full beard because I am able to more of less hide behind it. I also like the fact that I need glasses because I can wear those and alter my appearance further.

I wear a hat and sunglasses all of the time when I am outside during the day and I think my overall appearance comes across as potentially threatening or intimidating, so people will keep an eye on me maybe? I'm not really sure, but I don't mind really. I'd honestly rather have strangers be intimidated by me due to my appearance than the other way around.

I'm definitely treated much differently now that I've changed my appearance so much. I find most people respect me more and anyone who doesn't I am able to assert myself a lot better than I used to so I don't cave and look like a wimp at the first sign of confrontation or aggression.
 
Actually, I worry a lot about being the one who is staring! In places like restaurants, I do my best to avoid looking at anyone because I don't want to make eye contact. Sometimes, though, I will lift my head and accidentally make eye contact with someone. It's upsetting to me, so I will kind of jump and quickly look away which I worry people see as suspicious (like I have been caught staring). For some reason, I guess maybe because I am trying so hard to control where my eyes wander, I often unintentionally look back at the same people though I don't mean to. I think there have been times when people have noticed this (and then have started staring at me!). Trying not to be awkward just makes me act more awkward, I suppose.
 
ayogreg said:
I get stares a lot but I think now it's because of more positive reasons as opposed to the negative reasons in my past.

Throughout my late teenage years and early 20's I was thin, tall and had awkward posture. I've filled out with some muscle and am at a more healthy weight. I practice proper posture and have grown a full beard. I'm actually very fortunate and thankful I can grow a full beard because I am able to more of less hide behind it. I also like the fact that I need glasses because I can wear those and alter my appearance further.

I wear a hat and sunglasses all of the time when I am outside during the day and I think my overall appearance comes across as potentially threatening or intimidating, so people will keep an eye on me maybe? I'm not really sure, but I don't mind really. I'd honestly rather have strangers be intimidated by me due to my appearance than the other way around.

I'm definitely treated much differently now that I've changed my appearance so much. I find most people respect me more and anyone who doesn't I am able to assert myself a lot better than I used to so I don't cave and look like a wimp at the first sign of confrontation or aggression.
Click to expand...
LOL!

Brings back memories. I went from a bit pudgy in my teens, to slender, to fairly built. All weight training and running and then basic training in the military.

Maybe not staring but casually looking. You can also get the same reaction by dressing well.

There is a fine art to people watching, to do so unobtrusively and unobjectionably. Having someone stare at you - or staring at someone else - is not a good thing. Even household pets generally don't like being stared at.

The exception is if you really want to be stared at.
 
If cats, grumpy dogs, and small kids like you, chances are you can people watch without being noticed. These contingents tend to notice people watchers simply because the watchers aren't actively seeking interactions. To a certain extent, people watching can be almost meditative like water droplets on a hot skillet. It isn't so much about a person, it is about the chaos and the patterns within it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom