Online personality versus offline personality

[Suzanne]

I'm much more talkative here than irl. I think it's because many of you are so open to expressing inner thoughts and feelings and are so honest about it. I've never done small talk. I'm fine with teamwork if work calls for it, but generally don't like hanging out with more than one person at a time. Have only had just a very few really close friends with no desire for more. People here are more willing to be accepting of differences which I like too. And some of you are funny as hell which I love. Sometimes I feel I am talking too much here, especially as I am an NT but I do feel like I have things in common with many of you and that feels very comfortable.

Perhaps you are a secret aspie

 

[Judge]

Perhaps you are a secret aspie

That remains a fascinating dynamic to me. Those who come here asking questions, but not necessarily about themselves. Who after a time well spent here go on to conclude that in fact they too may be on the spectrum.

It happens.

 

[vangelis]

I am definitely more open on here as I am far better with written words than spoken ones.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I'm much more talkative here than irl. I think it's because many of you are so open to expressing inner thoughts and feelings and are so honest about it. I've never done small talk. I'm fine with teamwork if work calls for it, but generally don't like hanging out with more than one person at a time. Have only had just a very few really close friends with no desire for more. People here are more willing to be accepting of differences which I like too. And some of you are funny as hell which I love. Sometimes I feel I am talking too much here, especially as I am an NT but I do feel like I have things in common with many of you and that feels very comfortable.

They should stick 'honorary aspie' under that VIP member thing.

What is it about really? About creating an environment where pdople can be themselves without judgment.
One of the major things I enjoy the most is how different everybody is.
Yet at the same time, a commonality runs through it all..

As someone who took a long time to get over cruel words that were said to me and an even longer time to accept cruel words i have said to people in the past, it is a joy to spend a little time with people who :
Speak with consideration and caring towards others.
Try to give help without personal gain.
Are honest and upffont about themselves.

So,if i can say a kind word now and again to join in, well thats okay for me.
Even better if i can say several stupid words..

Unfortunately my quota of kind words has run out @LucyPurrs so you are spared

 

[LucyPurrs]

They should stick 'honorary aspie' under that VIP member thing.

What is it about really? About creating an environment where pdople can be themselves without judgment.
One of the major things I enjoy the most is how different everybody is.
Yet at the same time, a commonality runs through it all..

As someone who took a long time to get over cruel words that were said to me and an even longer time to accept cruel words i have said to people in the past, it is a joy to spend a little time with people who :
Speak with consideration and caring towards others.
Try to give help without personal gain.
Are honest and upffont about themselves.

So,if i can say a kind word now and again to join in, well thats okay for me.
Even better if i can say several stupid words..

Unfortunately my quota of kind words has run out @LucyPurrs so you are spared

Just as long as your quota of funny statements doesn't run out

 

[Sabrina]

Today I was replaying in my head how a recent reunion that I had with a couple, that are good friends (they are married to each other), would have been, if I had said what actually was on my mind:
“Yup, see? We are separated. I am happy, he’s happy, it’s freedom! Awesome.! Separation. You should try it” .
But, no, I civilly ignored the issue and just chatted about meaningless things. Then I thought, “is everybody like this?” Does everybody have another hidden personality?” Then I thought, “Nah...” they’re very nice NTs. But who knows?

 

[Ragnahawk]

Online or offline I am uncomfortable with new faces. Larger possibility of social errors. I usually just pretend to be part of conversation using selective social script that has been previously tried. This is the best answer as selective mutism makes drama.

 

[Tom]

I think there is bound to be differences. I think my own is least different here as here I can be closest to myself.

 

[WereBear]

I can be just as chatty IRL as I am here, if the subjects are as interesting to me

But truly, I can talk to anyone about anything. Because my knowledge of trivia is so vast, I can pick up on anything a person might say and connect it with an interesting fact for them.

 

[Mathalamus]

i am virtually the same online and in real life. i'm just much less affectionate in real life for control (of myself) reasons.

 

[Mia]

IRL I'm quiet and slightly social, polite at fitting in, so as not to stand out or really be noticed. I listen more than I speak.
Here I'm far more gregarious, and talkative, mainly because I don't have to respond immediately as I would in the social world.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

IRL I'm quiet and slightly social, polite at fitting in, so as not to stand out or really be noticed. I listen more than I speak.
Here are I'm far more gregarious, and talkative, mainly because I don't have to respond immediately as I would in the social world.

I remember your neighbor revenge thread.... one of my faves.

But no speaking involved,just clocks

 

[the_tortoise]

My personality is the same, i think.

But I usually say a lot less offline, and have a harder time articulating things.

 

[Mia]

I remember your neighbor revenge thread.... one of my faves.
But no speaking involved,just clocks

He's become much quieter, since his new girlfriend. Even better, he rents out a small apartment in his house. His tenants are two young women, they are the noisiest people ever apparently they keep him awake, but not us, we can't hear them. Justice is served I think.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

He's become much quieter, since his new girlfriend. Even better, he rents out a small apartment in his house. His tenants are two young women, they are the nosiest people ever apparently they keep him awake, but not us, we can't hear them. Justice is served I think.

Always fancied starting a thread, mias guide to revenge... helping people get one back on those thay desrve it

 

[Mia]

mias guide to revenge

It is a dish best served cold. One of the questions I've asked myself in these situations, is if I'm intelligent, then I can use that intelligence as an advantage. I can out think these morons, so why shouldn't I?

Note: Sorry Progster, going off thread like that.

 

[owlet]

I find expressing myself in writing a lot easier than in speech, so I'm a lot more 'talkative' online and tend to go into my thoughts more as I have more ability to describe them accurately. I also have some social phobia, so communicating online removes that anxiety element too.

 

[Misery]

Ehh... I can be more talkative on here occaisionally because sometimes there's topics I actually give a fart about. But offline.... ugh. Not just a lack of topics, but also watching how people act when talking about them... No, I dont want to talk about politics or sports. No, I dont care who married who in the family or blah blah blah.

Everyone offline can shut up and I'll go talk to the dog instead. Usually makes for a much more intelligent conversation that way, rather than having to listen to inane chatter about what President WhoGivesACrap did today or what kind of scandal everyone's favorite celebrity, whose name is always Steve DontCare (yeah that's as creative as I get for this one), got mixed up in. Or worse, listening to the braindead bickering that goes along with these types of subjects. Ugh. The dog, on the other hand, is smart enough to know those topics are bloody stupid, so he doesnt bother with them. I applaud him. Granted, he also has occaisionally tried to eat the table, but... that's still smarter, so... good for him.

Unfortunately this all tends to mean that offline, many people tend to see me as very aloof, or as having sort of a perpetual haze of darkness and hatred following me around that just targets basically everything. Which isnt that far off from the truth really (there's a reason I call myself "Misery") but still, it's much more pronounced when dealing with me in-person. Unless there's a dog or cat nearby. I'm all warm fuzziness when dealing with animals. Until some person tries to interrupt. Dont do that.

Online I can seem a bit friendlier BECAUSE I can choose to *only* listen to those topics I want to hear about. Dont really get to do that offline, eh? And if I start to get agitated I can, at any time, go walk away and sit with the dog or something for a few minutes without it causing trouble. In an offline conversation, well... yeah people dont react well to that.

Of course the problem for me is that even online, there's still honestly just not that many topics, even on a forum like this, that I care to dive into. So I dont post all that often on here, and I definitely dont make friends easily. But hey, that last bit applies offline too, so... bah, whatever...

 

[Major Tom]

This is really the only online site I use, I like the structure, the rules, and almost (not quite) non combative style we all have to adhere to. This allows me to greatly enjoy my online experience here. I don't feel like I constantly have to but heads with people like I did on Facebook, etc.

As far as my personality online it greatly depends on the platform I am in. But for the most part, I can usually speak what I feel much more freely than I would in person. There is also the ability to look at what I am writing and decide "should I really say that?" (Sometimes impulse still does get the better of me, but not as often as it does in person). I am pretty social in the chatroom here, and it gives me great relief to have people to talk to that can somewhat understand what I am going through. It also gives me a lot of insight at times to how to handle my classically autistic son. None of this would be possible without my online life.

In person, I am quite the contrary. My father instilled a "Don't speak unless you are spoken to" mannerism, which I still adhere to. It makes it very difficult to do my job at times, because I am supposed to be a "social butterfly" at work. (I teach conversational English as a second language, go figure..) I find it funny that I have this profession, because it is exactly the opposite to my personality. Anyways, I can BARELY struggle through my classes, and I guess in ways being a teacher has helped me to come out of my shell a lot.

 

[Progster]

I find expressing myself in writing a lot easier than in speech, so I'm a lot more 'talkative' online and tend to go into my thoughts more as I have more ability to describe them accurately. I also have some social phobia, so communicating online removes that anxiety element too.

Same here. It's a lot easier to communicate in writing, I have time to think and compose a reply. In real time I don't. I also have social anxiety.

Online I can seem a bit friendlier BECAUSE I can choose to *only* listen to those topics I want to hear about. Dont really get to do that offline, eh? And if I start to get agitated I can, at any time, go walk away and sit with the dog or something for a few minutes without it causing trouble. In an offline conversation, well... yeah people dont react well to that.

You have a good point there... online you get to choose which topics you respond to, you choose your conversations and don't have them forced on you. There's no obligation to respond to a topic you aren't interested in, you can say as much and as little as you like. And you don't have to wait for a gap in the conversation, or for people to finish talking.

(I teach conversational English as a second language, go figure..) I find it funny that I have this profession, because it is exactly the opposite to my personality. Anyways, I can BARELY struggle through my classes, and I guess in ways being a teacher has helped me to come out of my shell a lot.

Me too. I used to teach classes, but really struggled with it, it didn't work out and now I only do one to one tuition. The constant interaction is exhausting, and it's exhausting and stressful trying to perform well at a job that I'm not really suited to.