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Nervous laughter under stressful and serious situations

pushpinder

pushpinder

Member
I have this strange condition. I laugh in serious situation when Im expected to behave more responsibly so as to not hurt others feelings. I hate this but it is involuntary. It happens especially if its a gathering and everyone is quiet. That silence makes me focus on my own behaviour but I realize that I cannot empathize in such situations. Im not able to feel and because of excess pressure I tend to laugh to ease the tension.
Apart from this I am extremely sympathetic, have been a geek all my life and could not understand the ways of the world. Also many a times when I feel when people are talking to me I cannot feel myself. My sense of self is missing and I feel as if I observe my mind which runs in all directions. ALso I bite nails and tend to get anxious. Lying is very difficult and I simply cannot do it. I just cannot be myself. Also I feel dominated by strong personalities such as authorities.
Does anyone else also experience this.
 
I laugh at inappropriate moments, funerals are the worst for me and nothing I do can stop me from having the giggles about some part of the ceremony.
 
Me too, on the laughing. I also smile in inappropriate situations as well. Its pretty much a gut reaction that i get scolded for every time.
 
I don't always know how to react when someone's crying or there is a sad situation, and sometimes when lost for the correct respone, I laugh instead.
 
Sounds definitely familiar. Fortunately it doesn't happen very often, but when it happens, ohhh. When I try to stop giggling, I get this smile on my face that I can't get rid of and so I start re-lacing my shoes, look for something in my bag, anything to hide my face..

I am too extremely empathetic in certain situations (usually animals related) and not at all touched by others like funerals.
 
My mum forever sternly tells me "I DON'T THINK IT'S FUNNY! " (occasionally followed by a rant about how 'no one understands what she has to put up with...'-she doesn't understand AS) as I chuckle or say something is laughable. Some situations are quite tragic and I'll smirk but shake my head with the tragedy and still get told off - apparently that's not right either.
I might just have my whole face botoxed forever to stop any expression and become voluntarily mute.
A lot of people look at me peculiarly because I've smirked and then look confused because when they see my expression its one of sympathy - they don't get it. Neither do I.
I now explain AS and learning difficulties to anyone that has the momentary spark of brightness to ask what I'm about and watch their eyes glaze over slowly as I intentionally try tell them everything they might need to know on dealing with Aspies in the future or - if they're closed minded enough to not realise what's in front of them - me.
I've concluded that I shall laugh and not give a damn. If people have a problem with me, they are welcome to discuss it with me, if they don't, then it's not my problem, it's theirs. An extremely difficult thing to do initially but after some practice.. it still is - but I have some experiences to compare against and can often find some compromise or they just give up and go away.
They have Google too and can check this stuff out like any 'normal'.
So, options available seem to be A-Botox or B-Don't give a damn.
Choose wisely, (option A can be a bit costly).
 
Ellylldan said:
I am too extremely empathetic in certain situations (usually animals related) and not at all touched by others like funerals.
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I am very much like this. I'm very empathetic towards and about animals. Humans, not so much. Still, I don't know where the laughter comes from in certain very solemn circumstances. I know it's not funny, and it really isn't funny to me either, but it makes me want to laugh nonetheless. It's like my mind and body conspire to betray me.
 
Cali Cat said:
I am very much like this. I'm very empathetic towards and about animals. Humans, not so much. Still, I don't know where the laughter comes from in certain very solemn circumstances. I know it's not funny, and it really isn't funny to me either, but it makes me want to laugh nonetheless. It's like my mind and body conspire to betray me.
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I think I know where it comes from, the laughter, technically. The more serious situation is, especially if it's a sad kind of a situation, in most of cases I don't feel so, I get bored, I start to look at people's faces, then I realise (or i get it pointed out to me, which is worse) that I have to keep the face accordingly to the situation, I start concentrating a lot on that and here I start laughing against my will. It reminds me very much the little mind game I did when I was little, when thoughts were racing in my head, I was telling myself not to think about anything, like to make my mind blank. And in that silence I always mentally heard "chicken" (well, in russian, of course, as I am russian) and visualised a chicken. I still have this chicken curse... So, for me laugh in inappropriate situation is an equivalent of that blanc mind thing.
I don't know if anybody else can relate to it, though...
 
My older son does this a lot. If my younger son has been hurt or is being told off, the older one will smirk and/or giggle. He insists he can't help it, but as a parent it is hard to know how to deal with it.
 
Ellylldan said:
I think I know where it comes from, the laughter, technically. The more serious situation is, especially if it's a sad kind of a situation, in most of cases I don't feel so, I get bored, I start to look at people's faces, then I realise (or i get it pointed out to me, which is worse) that I have to keep the face accordingly to the situation, I start concentrating a lot on that and here I start laughing against my will.
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For me, it's like the more I concentrate on maintaining the appropriate expression of sobriety, the more tension builds up. Then the need to express the opposite feeling wells up inside me. It's the concentration part that trips me up I think.
 
I feel your pain. This is the most disturbing of my AS symptoms. I can accept being different, and I do, but I hate the fact that I either smile or laugh in times of sorrow and stress, and otherwise inappropriate situations. My wife's grandmother is nearing the end of her life, and one of my greatest fears at the moment is what my reaction will be to her death.
 
Ah, Uncontrollable Giggle Syndrome! Yes indeed!
I don't think this is a purely AS trait as I've heard NT's say the same happens to them at funerals, say.
However, I think the ability to rerun (or should that be inability to stop rerunning), in my minds eye, some fleetingly funny aspect of a serious/tragic event over and over has been a bane all my life. Still giggling at some comment in class when everyone else moved on ages ago; the time I accidentally hit my sister square in the face with a football - she was hurt and our folks weren't happy; the time my nan fell over and cut her head and we had to take her to A&E, the slapstick way she went down.. I could go on, still giggling now and cringeing with embarrassment at the same time.
It's not fair! I never wanted to be the stupid giggly kid! :smile:
 
Cali Cat said:
For me, it's like the more I concentrate on maintaining the appropriate expression of sobriety, the more tension builds up. Then the need to express the opposite feeling wells up inside me. It's the concentration part that trips me up I think.
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Definitely I feel its the concentrating on my behavior that makes me trip. Its strange because I watch myself while doing all this. Generally its very rare that normal people watch their own traits or behaviors. But I do watch myself. There are aspects which I do not like about myself like involuntary laughter because I am not able to converse with strangers if I find something funny. It seems as if a part of my mind is very active and isnt at ease. It jumps like a monkey and wont settle. It is the same thing that makes me laugh. It simply doesnt allow myself to be me. No one on this planet would want to laugh and put oneself into a serious situation. Sometimes it seems to me that a part of me is working on its own and living its own life like a mad hatter in Alice in Wonderland. In serious situations it panics and become even more active. It would do everything but not be focused on the moment.
 
Aye, I'm quite familiar with defensive giggling. Not that pleasant when your giggling just riles up the angry thing in front of you. So it's settled Aspies are hyenas. We laugh when scared. :p
 
I laugh when pressured by authority I don't agree with.
Its not a giggle, I've burst in to full blown laughter when a cop scolded me for driving in to a one-way street, while because of an event it was the only way to my garage.
I find it very funny how some folks think they have any sort of real power, and then go around ruling people while not giving the situation at hand any actual thought.

But I guess that doesn't qualify nervous laughter.
 
Yes, this happens to me and I have, at times, found it so frustrating as I have yet to find an appropriate way to explain why, exactly, it happens. I think it is more a nervous reaction for me, personally, an 'I don't know how to deal with these confusing things going on inside so I will laugh to try and release the tension' sort of situation, I suppose.
 
Cali Cat said:
For me, it's like the more I concentrate on maintaining the appropriate expression of sobriety, the more tension builds up. Then the need to express the opposite feeling wells up inside me. It's the concentration part that trips me up I think.
Click to expand...

I tried to click "agree" and couldn't, so I'm replying. I do this in interviews. I've never been considered for a job at one of the best places to work in my city ever since, and guess that I won't...I've been told to 'lighten up' but I can't seem to get it right.
 
I smile at inappropriate times. For example, if someone is telling me about someone who died or seriously ill, I can feel the smile coming on and despite all my efforts to stop it, I can't. I think it's a coping mechanism for serious situations and I don't know how else to deal with it.

There's a man at work who's the same and he'll be telling me about some bad news and we're both standing there trying not to smile but we both end up smiling. Coping mechanism when you don't know what else to do.
 
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