AutumnRed
Well-Known Member
Hello Everyone 
I'm choosing AutumnRed as my handle because the colours of autumn delight me so much. I love taking photos of the changing leaves in their different hues of red and yellow and brown.
I'm a 36 year old male from New Zealand, and only learnt that I have Asperger's Syndrome less than a year ago. Prior to this revelation, I had been diagnosed with Bi Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Dysthymia. I'd attended weekly psychotherapy sessions for six and a half years, and also had taken several years' worth of prescription drugs. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 23 years, and went through a series of enrolling, then pulling out of university, only to enrol again months later, each time leaving because of being unable to handle the large groups, tutorials, and pressure exerted through deadlines. Exams were also difficult, as I don't have control over how much pressure I exert on my pen; I tend to grip it like a vice. This gives me terrible writer's cramp after 10 minutes, so I could never write as much as everyone else. I still managed to pass 18 or so papers (Degree in English and History), and only need three more to graduate, if I ever return. In an effort to 'find myself' amongst all the chaos I felt every time I looked out the front door, I enrolled and trained with dedication in several martial arts - Jiu-Jitsu, Aikido, and Karate. My lack of co-ordination held me back in these, although I did get as far as brown belt in karate. I joined Freemasonry when I was 21 as well as the Societas Rosicruciana in Anglia, looking for friendship, illumination, connections, help, and also I just really like rituals. I struggled in all of the above due to the socialising element, but it certainly wasn't as bad as one of my worst fears - having to attend a party!
I lived with my mother until I was 31, and didn't have my first girlfriend (and sexual experience) until I was 28. I met my second girlfriend when I was 31, by forcing myself to attend a writers' group. There she spotted and befriended me, and before long we fell in love. She has terrible health problems, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and she even got cancer one year after we became partners. I love her so much! As luck would have it, earlier in her life she had worked as a teacher-aide and with children with Asperger's Syndrome. Before that, she trained as a nurse and also worked with adults with AS, and it took her 2 months of living with me for her to suggest I have Asperger's Syndrome. A year or so later and after we had married, I experienced what I now know as a melt down, after which I asked her 'is there any mental illness that you know of that causes this amount of trouble, just because a routine is broken?' She replied 'Yes! Asperger's syndrome as I told you earlier'. We began researching AS after this, reading Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison, Born on a Blue Day by Daniel Tammet, Congratulations! It's Asperger Syndrome by Jen Birch, Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Simon Baron Cohen, Asperger's From the Inside Out by Michael John Carley and Asperger Syndrome - A Love Story by Sarah Hendrickx and Keith Newton. I took about 17 pages of notes of things that related to me from these readings, and then took a 27 page personal narrative to a psychiatrist recommended to me by Jen Birch (author of Congratulations! It's Asperger syndrome). He diagnosed me with Asperger's Syndrome and co-morbid ADHD last August. Such a relief!
I live a quiet life with my wife, each day usually consisting of a health dilemma from at least one of us. My special interests include the following: Carl Jung, Aleister Crowley, Western Esoterica, Heavy Metal Music, Dungeons & Dragons, and Fighting Fantasy Game-books. My secondary interests include: photography, making charts, collecting books, planting flowers, football, tarot interpretation, medieval and renaissance world, cats, ducks, ritual work, watching documentaries and serial comedies like the Big Bang Theory and Alan Partridge, martial arts. I'm also bisexual and so is my wife.
I hope I haven't written too much here as to put anyone off. Although I'm very close to my wife, I actually feel really quite lonely at times, and as she is neurotypical, she naturally can't share my enthusiasm in all of my obsessions. If I'm honest, I really hope I can make some friends here. Thanks for reading
I'm choosing AutumnRed as my handle because the colours of autumn delight me so much. I love taking photos of the changing leaves in their different hues of red and yellow and brown.I'm a 36 year old male from New Zealand, and only learnt that I have Asperger's Syndrome less than a year ago. Prior to this revelation, I had been diagnosed with Bi Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Dysthymia. I'd attended weekly psychotherapy sessions for six and a half years, and also had taken several years' worth of prescription drugs. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 23 years, and went through a series of enrolling, then pulling out of university, only to enrol again months later, each time leaving because of being unable to handle the large groups, tutorials, and pressure exerted through deadlines. Exams were also difficult, as I don't have control over how much pressure I exert on my pen; I tend to grip it like a vice. This gives me terrible writer's cramp after 10 minutes, so I could never write as much as everyone else. I still managed to pass 18 or so papers (Degree in English and History), and only need three more to graduate, if I ever return. In an effort to 'find myself' amongst all the chaos I felt every time I looked out the front door, I enrolled and trained with dedication in several martial arts - Jiu-Jitsu, Aikido, and Karate. My lack of co-ordination held me back in these, although I did get as far as brown belt in karate. I joined Freemasonry when I was 21 as well as the Societas Rosicruciana in Anglia, looking for friendship, illumination, connections, help, and also I just really like rituals. I struggled in all of the above due to the socialising element, but it certainly wasn't as bad as one of my worst fears - having to attend a party!
I lived with my mother until I was 31, and didn't have my first girlfriend (and sexual experience) until I was 28. I met my second girlfriend when I was 31, by forcing myself to attend a writers' group. There she spotted and befriended me, and before long we fell in love. She has terrible health problems, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and she even got cancer one year after we became partners. I love her so much! As luck would have it, earlier in her life she had worked as a teacher-aide and with children with Asperger's Syndrome. Before that, she trained as a nurse and also worked with adults with AS, and it took her 2 months of living with me for her to suggest I have Asperger's Syndrome. A year or so later and after we had married, I experienced what I now know as a melt down, after which I asked her 'is there any mental illness that you know of that causes this amount of trouble, just because a routine is broken?' She replied 'Yes! Asperger's syndrome as I told you earlier'. We began researching AS after this, reading Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison, Born on a Blue Day by Daniel Tammet, Congratulations! It's Asperger Syndrome by Jen Birch, Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Simon Baron Cohen, Asperger's From the Inside Out by Michael John Carley and Asperger Syndrome - A Love Story by Sarah Hendrickx and Keith Newton. I took about 17 pages of notes of things that related to me from these readings, and then took a 27 page personal narrative to a psychiatrist recommended to me by Jen Birch (author of Congratulations! It's Asperger syndrome). He diagnosed me with Asperger's Syndrome and co-morbid ADHD last August. Such a relief!
I live a quiet life with my wife, each day usually consisting of a health dilemma from at least one of us. My special interests include the following: Carl Jung, Aleister Crowley, Western Esoterica, Heavy Metal Music, Dungeons & Dragons, and Fighting Fantasy Game-books. My secondary interests include: photography, making charts, collecting books, planting flowers, football, tarot interpretation, medieval and renaissance world, cats, ducks, ritual work, watching documentaries and serial comedies like the Big Bang Theory and Alan Partridge, martial arts. I'm also bisexual and so is my wife.
I hope I haven't written too much here as to put anyone off. Although I'm very close to my wife, I actually feel really quite lonely at times, and as she is neurotypical, she naturally can't share my enthusiasm in all of my obsessions. If I'm honest, I really hope I can make some friends here. Thanks for reading
