My boyfriend found out he's royal. . . Thoughts?

[Lysander]

I'd like to ask you guys how you think I could approach this.

My boyfriend and I are both Aspies. He's really fascinated with lineage and after years of waiting has a full family tree, including royalty. I'm a little off balance with this because I absolutely do not want to interfere with his excitement but there might be a point when I'll have to burst his bubble - you see, I'm not sure he knows how many people (80%) are descendents of at least one monarch. Maybe he's just using his imagination when he talks about living in a castle. If he takes it too far, I'll gently inform him then.

My problem is that when he makes discriminative comments about his notion that the skills and qualities he possesses are connected to his 'royalty', it severely bothers me. I've already told him so, but he's obsessed, and if you can believe it, my feelings are almost always his first priority.

He holds some fairly medieval attitudes, but he's also proven himself remarkably open to new perspectives, as if he actually craves these discussions. I'm justified and at the same time, watching the parade go by. But the dam ought not to burst on it, so the discussion must go on. And it shall!

Thanks for reading.

 

[IrishAspie]

Sounds like a classic case of wanting to feel important but not actaully wanting to do anything to make it happen for himself.
Eventually someone will burst his bubble and hes going to need to understand that being connected to someone in the past has zero refelction to him now...but it is a cool topic of conversation to be able to bring up if it arises naturally and he probably has some great info on how to trace a family tree etc which a lot of people would be interested in.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I, personally, am 81,930,653,491st in line for a throne that stopped existing in the 17th century. I'm very excited about this. And I can be a royal fistula in about three minutes!

 

[Judge]

Have him Google "inbreeding" and "royals". Genetics can and do have consequences.

 

[Ste11aeres]

He genuinely believes that his skills and stuff are connected to his royal ancestors? He's not just joking or speaking tongue in cheek?

 

[Judge]

I can certainly see aristocracy being an obsession or interest. On a certain level it is fascinating. One of mine is totalitarian systems. However I've never had any interest in actually being as such. If I were related to such tragic figures in history, I'd probably keep it a secret.

YouTube does have some rather graphic execution scenes of royals....Mary Queen of Scots, Louis XIV and Marie Antoinette, Nicholas II and his entire family, and so on. Kind of takes the patina off all that royal glimmer.

 

[zurb]

We seem to have a romantic idea about royals. The idea that somehow they are naturally better people, more perfect and princesses are dainty and delicate comes straight from fairy tales. The reality is that they are fully human with the same faults, and achieved their kingdoms by being more brutal than their predecessors!

 

[Tom]

I'd like to ask you guys how you think I could approach this.

My boyfriend and I are both Aspies. He's really fascinated with lineage and after years of waiting has a full family tree, including royalty. I'm a little off balance with this because I absolutely do not want to interfere with his excitement but there might be a point when I'll have to burst his bubble - you see, I'm not sure he knows how many people (80%) are descendents of at least one monarch. Maybe he's just using his imagination when he talks about living in a castle. If he takes it too far, I'll gently inform him then.

My problem is that when he makes discriminative comments about his notion that the skills and qualities he possesses are connected to his 'royalty', it severely bothers me. I've already told him so, but he's obsessed, and if you can believe it, my feelings are almost always his first priority.

He holds some fairly medieval attitudes, but he's also proven himself remarkably open to new perspectives, as if he actually craves these discussions. I'm justified and at the same time, watching the parade go by. But the dam ought not to burst on it, so the discussion must go on. And it shall!

Thanks for reading.

Oh Brother...

I think at some point I would have to say something like 'Look, I don't believe in any of the royalty superiority stuff. So lets just not talk about it anymore.' And if he asks why, give him your facts. But don't budge on not wanting to listen to that nonsense anymore.

 

[Judge]

We seem to have a romantic idea about royals. The idea that somehow they are naturally better people, more perfect and princesses are dainty and delicate comes straight from fairy tales. The reality is that they are fully human with the same faults, and achieved their kingdoms by being more brutal than their predecessors!

In the case of Americans, I often wonder what really drives that. Politically "forbidden fruit", or simply fascination with the
lifestyles of the rich and famous ? I suspect the latter in most cases.

 

[Flinty]

My last ex claimed that she was an Austrian princess. I'm not sure which personality that was. (Yes, multiple personalities.)

Why would one want that exposure? Diana Spencer would probably still be alive if she were still Diana Spencer.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I'd keep any royalty in my bloodline a well-kept secret. The last thing I'd want is to also find out about some creepy old guy who swore vendetta on my family, or nearly as bad, if I suddenly got put in a position of power. That is more paperwork than I have the patience for!

 

[Judge]

I'd keep any royalty in my bloodline a well-kept secret. The last thing I'd want is to also find out about some creepy old guy who swore vendetta on my family, or nearly as bad, if I suddenly got put in a position of power. That is more paperwork than I have the patience for!

That sort of dilemma actually showed up recently in a television drama called "Forever".

 

[watersprite]

I used to have a friend who was related to a world wide famous person, and had the same last name, and if anyone asked him if they were related he always said no and forbade me to disclose anything about him.

 

[Tom]

One of my favorite old rhymes

"When Adam delved and Eve span, Who was then the gentleman?"

John Ball, renegade priest during English Peasants Rebellion in 1381.

 

[phoe]

Tell him your royal lineage is closer than his, 'go cook my supper, minion !'