OnyxM
Well-Known Member
I'm on the spectrum but I also have inattentive ADHD. Or ADD. I've been job hopping for years, I'm 28. Where I live we have many financial problems and the place is small which means that jobs are even harder to find during the winter season. I've been desperately looking for a job for months (after some on and off 'atypical' gigs), and because I was so desperate I asked for work in a place that I'd normally never even want to go near..supermarket. I've worked on retail before as sales assistant in clothing stores but this..is entirely different. I don't know if hyper types of ADHD are doing well in fast paced jobs and maybe some of them do but for inattentive and slow moving people like me, jobs like that are a pure horror. Despite all my efforts, I'm the one who always needs more questions, more time to learn, more corrections and more examples. Even when I think I do 'well' or that I've learned something reality comes back with a huge slap to remind me how 'useless' I am in other people's eyes. Anyway..
Two nights ago I was on the meat and cheese slicers washing duty. We have to wash the machines when we close for the night. To thoroughly wash the ham slicer though we have to remove a specific screw that 'locks' the slicing disk so we can clean the disk. I removed the screw and washed the disk as I've been instructed and then placed both on the sink where we also place all other tools we wash. However underneath the sink..is our trash can. And apparently with a sudden 'move' of the objects and while I was washing and clearly not paying attention to the sink, the screw must have fallen into the trash bag..which we later remove and throw to the bins outside. So yesterday I went to work only to be interrogated about the missing screw since everyone knows I was on cleaning duty. We were all looking to find it but we didn't find anything..and from what I understand this might be an expensive part to replace. I don't even know..point is..I don't know anymore. If it weren't for my faith and family I honestly don't know if I'd even made it this far..I just can't handle all this. On one hand I tried my best to do my work and once again failed and on the other hand I can't quit because I've been out of a normal job for months and I can't go around like that. I feel overwhelmed, trapped again and lost. It's like I can't function as an adult. And since I can't afford official ADHD meds, I ordered a set of brain boosting supplements today.
I just don't even want to think how things will be this Monday
Two nights ago I was on the meat and cheese slicers washing duty. We have to wash the machines when we close for the night. To thoroughly wash the ham slicer though we have to remove a specific screw that 'locks' the slicing disk so we can clean the disk. I removed the screw and washed the disk as I've been instructed and then placed both on the sink where we also place all other tools we wash. However underneath the sink..is our trash can. And apparently with a sudden 'move' of the objects and while I was washing and clearly not paying attention to the sink, the screw must have fallen into the trash bag..which we later remove and throw to the bins outside. So yesterday I went to work only to be interrogated about the missing screw since everyone knows I was on cleaning duty. We were all looking to find it but we didn't find anything..and from what I understand this might be an expensive part to replace. I don't even know..point is..I don't know anymore. If it weren't for my faith and family I honestly don't know if I'd even made it this far..I just can't handle all this. On one hand I tried my best to do my work and once again failed and on the other hand I can't quit because I've been out of a normal job for months and I can't go around like that. I feel overwhelmed, trapped again and lost. It's like I can't function as an adult. And since I can't afford official ADHD meds, I ordered a set of brain boosting supplements today.
I just don't even want to think how things will be this Monday