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Long term career plans

DHS

Well-Known Member
I was fortunate enough to start my professional career in a design job where I got to essentially hide away and solve problems for 8 years, until the company got bought out and moved interstate. I spent the better part of a year looking for a similar job, while doing as much freelance work as I could find, before taking a labouring job for about a year, before finding a decent opportunity in an office, permanent part time, I get a decent work/life balance, and I really should probably be happier about it than I am.
I find dealing with so many people takes a gradual toll on me, for no clear reason I find myself stimming all weekend, usually subsiding shortly before I start into the next week. But I have found a lot of personal improvement from stepping outside my comfort zone. I'm not sure how I will go long term, which is a worry, I'd love to embrace this job, but I'm not sure what is best for me, or if I have any other options even if I decided to move on in the foreseeable future.
I'm not really after advice, but I wouldn't mind hearing some other peoples career stories. I'm not rushing to make any decisions, but excessive stimming could slowly drive me nuts and I wonder if the new job is the cause and if it will become less of an issue with time.
 
I recently lost my job due to layoffs. Like you, I spent the last 13 years quietly solving design and functional problems in a specialized field, one that I have been employed in for 20 years. It is unlikely that I will find a similar position or even one in the same feild, things have kind of dried up, at least where I live.

When I do get another job, I just don't know how I'll fit in. I was much more flexible and able to adapt 15 years ago.
 
I'm currently dealing with this problem now - knowing I need to go outside my comfort zone to work, but also knowing that can result in excessive time spent stimming and all kinds of detriment to my health. Before, I had to just take whatever would come my way....it's still kind of like that, but I am facing a choice between 2 jobs, both challenging in different ways, but one is higher level, the other perceived as lower level. I think the lower level one, though challenging, would offer more that caters to my aspie self - more privacy, more structure and predictability, and it's not totally a desk job. The higher level one.....it reminds me of past environments that left me feeling desparate, like I couldn't take it anymore. And I would always quit. So I'm thinking......did I just not try hard enough? Would this time be the charm...? OR.....um....yeah, those environments were too stressful for me as an aspie....maybe I need to take a risk and just go after the lower level job, maybe I could be happier, and less in need of excessive stimming to balance things out. For me, burnout is the real issue, and then "wasting" a ton of time excessively stimming....my life feels out of control. I was initially excited for the "lower" job - which is still a really good job! But the "higher" job people....well, even just having to consider that job brings up a lot of questions and anxieties for me, but to make it worse, they are emailing and calling me a few times a day to keep asking me about moving forward with the application process. I hope I make the right decision for me, and I hope the right people want to hire me in the end, anyway. And I ***hope*** this is the last time I have to change jobs...! I don't want to keep burning out and quitting at the 2 year mark. That makes it a lot harder to get hired again by someone else. But yeah....that's what happened to me when I went too far outside my comfort zone. It's scary how that affected my mental and physical health, too. AND.....I read somewhere, an Aspie explained that when we push ourselves too far out of our comfort zone, we snap like a rubber band that has been stretched too far....we can tie the ends together, but we will never be as strong as before....and I relate to that - I feel the damage. So it's important to figure out the balance of stretching to grow stronger vs. breaking....that's what I'm hoping to get right this time.
 
I'm looking to get into an office assistant job or a bookkeeping job. I have to admit that my current job feels like a comfort zone, because I've been there for many years. Getting outside that comfort zone is tough as an aspie.
 
Thanks for your input guys, clearly I'm not the only one. I can particularly relate to your dilemma Ambi, I now have options for career progression again, but I'm not sure if it would be healthy for me to accept or pursue extra work load. I enjoy the challenge of trying to achieve as much as I can, but I don't want to end up at the point of breakdown for a little extra money.
 
Thanks for your input guys, clearly I'm not the only one. I can particularly relate to your dilemma Ambi, I now have options for career progression again, but I'm not sure if it would be healthy for me to accept or pursue extra work load. I enjoy the challenge of trying to achieve as much as I can, but I don't want to end up at the point of breakdown for a little extra money.
Forgive me if you've already seen the last place I posted this, but I am really keeping this in mind as I weigh this job decision. This reflects this struggle for me: Why It’s Hard To Keep A Job When You Have Asperger’s

I don't read that and become pessimistic, just realistic - I don't think everyone reaches that state just because they have more than a part-time job, but the type of job and the job environment can also cause that. That is the situation that has repeatedly happened to me, which I really want/need to avoid this time around...

I guess this is the situation in which disclosure of a diagnosis could help with accommodations? I personally do not want to go that route, I am trying to just find a better job fit if possible.
 
I've been employed consistently for decades b/c I am able to "wear the mask."

Ever watch Dexter? I'm not a serial killer, but that is exactly how I feel at work. Smile without knowing why. Meaningless chit chat about stuff I don't care about in between long sessions of the best part - working alone at my desk, where I relax. Dexter's not a good role model, but watching the show actually helped my "up" my blending in skills. If a psychopath can do it, then surely I can. Of course, that's just fiction, but some of the tips actually work. Bring in donuts, smile at people even if you don't feel it, and invest in your coworkers even if you don't like them. Eventually, it becomes familiar and I daresay pleasant?
 

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