It's really hard to reconsider the life

[OlLiE]

welcome
your english is really good by the way

for every door that closes, another opens, all you have to do is look for it and decide to walk through it

 

[Natural World]

Hi everyone
I wanna tell you my story and it's hard to me, because I can't describe my feelings even to my psychologist. English is my second language, sorry for the mistakes c:

I was always a soldier. I felt like one, because I have been fighting with my weaknesses. I thought everyone has hard life, everyone is strong and tries to improve themselves. I thought I should be stronger and control my life. People always said I was strange, but I didn't really care. I have only my best friend and I am satisfied with it, because I tried to build relationships twice and it was very painful. People just can't love, like Aspie can.

I felt in love, but the person was very egoistic and left a huge dark whole in me. I tried to fight, but I lost control.

You know, guys, I've learned psychology since fourteen, but I've never paid attention on autism. I consider now it's a destiny, that I understood much now. I don't know have I Asperger's or not. I tried to ask 7 psychiatrists, but all of them refused to diagnosed me.

But I understand now every moment of my life. It's hard to admit that you need to reconsider your life, because you trained yourself so hard and the reason of your failures was not you. And you always blamed yourself.

I cried a lot first time. I am empty and don't have any inspiration to live this life. I became more strange, I can't control my words and behavior, I don't understand why. I could in the past! I just want to scream and die.

But maybe it's a chance to start from the beginning. I really understand myself and can avoid unhealthy situations. I know my features. Am I to strong to rebuild my personality?

I want to talk to you guys. I really wanna know everyone of you. That's a lot for reading this very inconsistent story c:

Hi Tulipa (I hope that’s correct),
I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know I empathize with you. I have self-diagnosed with Asperge’s recently and I’m 68 yrs old. My greanddaughter was diagnosed (she’s 9) so I knew it was probably in my family since Autism is primarily a heritable condition. Now I know my father’s side of the family is loaded with Aspies— my grandmother, my father, aunts, uncles, cousins, my brother, sister and my two children— I know they are on the spectrum from my research.
I’ve known since I was a child that
I was different and anxiety has been my constant companion. Now that I know I’m an Aspie, I feel very compassionate toward myself and I feel more at home in my own skin. I am telling you this in hopes you will love yourself more exactly the way you are. Trying to act like NT (neurotypical) constantly is where the suffering and struggle lies. Yes we have to be NT at work to a large degree but whenever you go to your private space you must be able to enjoy life on your terms. Do some research on ways to express love for yourself and acceptance.
Learn all the ways Aspies are special. The greatest inventions in the world were developed by Aspies.
Are you a girl or boy? How old are you?
Hugs,
A grandmother in North Carolina, USA

 

[Tulipa]

Hi Tulipa (I hope that’s correct),
I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know I empathize with you. I have self-diagnosed with Asperge’s recently and I’m 68 yrs old. My greanddaughter was diagnosed (she’s 9) so I knew it was probably in my family since Autism is primarily a heritable condition. Now I know my father’s side of the family is loaded with Aspies— my grandmother, my father, aunts, uncles, cousins, my brother, sister and my two children— I know they are on the spectrum from my research.
I’ve known since I was a child that
I was different and anxiety has been my constant companion. Now that I know I’m an Aspie, I feel very compassionate toward myself and I feel more at home in my own skin. I am telling you this in hopes you will love yourself more exactly the way you are. Trying to act like NT (neurotypical) constantly is where the suffering and struggle lies. Yes we have to be NT at work to a large degree but whenever you go to your private space you must be able to enjoy life on your terms. Do some research on ways to express love for yourself and acceptance.
Learn all the ways Aspies are special. The greatest inventions in the world were developed by Aspies.
Are you a girl or boy? How old are you?
Hugs,
A grandmother in North Carolina, USA

Ok my God, you are so lovely. It was so delightful to read your message, it made me smile c: I am a girl and I am 19. You can call me Anna, it's my real name

 

[convallaria]

Hi Tulipa (I hope that’s correct),
I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know I empathize with you. I have self-diagnosed with Asperge’s recently and I’m 68 yrs old. My greanddaughter was diagnosed (she’s 9) so I knew it was probably in my family since Autism is primarily a heritable condition. Now I know my father’s side of the family is loaded with Aspies— my grandmother, my father, aunts, uncles, cousins, my brother, sister and my two children— I know they are on the spectrum from my research.
I’ve known since I was a child that
I was different and anxiety has been my constant companion. Now that I know I’m an Aspie, I feel very compassionate toward myself and I feel more at home in my own skin. I am telling you this in hopes you will love yourself more exactly the way you are. Trying to act like NT (neurotypical) constantly is where the suffering and struggle lies. Yes we have to be NT at work to a large degree but whenever you go to your private space you must be able to enjoy life on your terms. Do some research on ways to express love for yourself and acceptance.
Learn all the ways Aspies are special. The greatest inventions in the world were developed by Aspies.
Are you a girl or boy? How old are you?
Hugs,
A grandmother in North Carolina, USA

I find your speech very inspiring and I want to hug you т_т

 

[Streetwise]

Welcome

Hi Tulipa (I hope that’s correct),
I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know I empathize with you. I have self-diagnosed with Asperge’s recently and I’m 68 yrs old. My greanddaughter was diagnosed (she’s 9) so I knew it was probably in my family since Autism is primarily a heritable condition. Now I know my father’s side of the family is loaded with Aspies— my grandmother, my father, aunts, uncles, cousins, my brother, sister and my two children— I know they are on the spectrum from my research.
I’ve known since I was a child that
I was different and anxiety has been my constant companion. Now that I know I’m an Aspie, I feel very compassionate toward myself and I feel more at home in my own skin. I am telling you this in hopes you will love yourself more exactly the way you are. Trying to act like NT (neurotypical) constantly is where the suffering and struggle lies. Yes we have to be NT at work to a large degree but whenever you go to your private space you must be able to enjoy life on your terms. Do some research on ways to express love for yourself and acceptance.
Learn all the ways Aspies are special. The greatest inventions in the world were developed by Aspies.
Are you a girl or boy? How old are you?
Hugs,
A grandmother in North Carolina, USA

 

[Tom]

Hi everyone
I wanna tell you my story and it's hard to me, because I can't describe my feelings even to my psychologist. English is my second language, sorry for the mistakes c:

I was always a soldier. I felt like one, because I have been fighting with my weaknesses. I thought everyone has hard life, everyone is strong and tries to improve themselves. I thought I should be stronger and control my life. People always said I was strange, but I didn't really care. I have only my best friend and I am satisfied with it, because I tried to build relationships twice and it was very painful. People just can't love, like Aspie can.

I felt in love, but the person was very egoistic and left a huge dark whole in me. I tried to fight, but I lost control.

You know, guys, I've learned psychology since fourteen, but I've never paid attention on autism. I consider now it's a destiny, that I understood much now. I don't know have I Asperger's or not. I tried to ask 7 psychiatrists, but all of them refused to diagnosed me.

But I understand now every moment of my life. It's hard to admit that you need to reconsider your life, because you trained yourself so hard and the reason of your failures was not you. And you always blamed yourself.

I cried a lot first time. I am empty and don't have any inspiration to live this life. I became more strange, I can't control my words and behavior, I don't understand why. I could in the past! I just want to scream and die.

But maybe it's a chance to start from the beginning. I really understand myself and can avoid unhealthy situations. I know my features. Am I to strong to rebuild my personality?

I want to talk to you guys. I really wanna know everyone of you. That's a lot for reading this very inconsistent story c:

No, you are not too strong to rebuild, or too weak. It just was very confusing not knowing what you were fighting against. Don't try to be too proud however. Be tolerant of your own flaws and weaknesses and forgive yourself for making mistakes. Just try to learn from them and do better in future.