Is it weird that I've been in a online group since September but everyone in it is a stranger to me?

[Amethystgirl]

Is it weird that I've been in a online group since September but everyone in it is a stranger to me? I don't know anyone and I'm fairly shy in the group and I don't say much in fear about being rejected or humiliated.

 

[Levitator]

Weird is relative. The personal statistic I keep citing is fifteen years to find a date or long-term friendship. Yes, we're different and we lack awareness as to what pushes people away. It sucks. But it's nice to find a cave of other rejects to commiserate with.

 

[VictorR]

Is it weird that I've been in a online group since September but everyone in it is a stranger to me? I don't know anyone and I'm fairly shy in the group and I don't say much in fear about being rejected or humiliated.

If joining conversations isn't your thing, what about starting or facilitating conversations?

 

[Amethystgirl]

I'm not good at conversations in this group. I often don't know what to say.

 

[Neri]

If it was weird, would that be a bad thing?

Personally, I'm having to turn weird into a "badge of honour" just for my self esteem, seeing as I can't change my weirdness, no matter how hard I try, so I've stopped trying.

 

[Slime_Punk]

Hmm... another question about your behavior in groups? I wonder why this bothers you. Most people probably think you're totally normal and definitely a part of the group just as much as anyone else.

Unfortunately, laser-focusing on ourselves brings out the worst, even when there's really nothing to be afraid of. Maybe you could start noticing how others interact? You might find that they're not really all that different from you.

Also, if people aren't approaching or interacting with you, you might want to reevaluate just how bold you think the rest of the group is. Food for thought.

 

[Judge]

IMO a group setting online allows one the luxury- and wisdom of lurking, and assessing conversations without having to commit to them. Where they are likely to get a much better sense of what is being discussed, and by whom. -That's the good news.

The bad news? The process is likely to cause one who is not so gregarious to be reticent to join in, compared perhaps to a real-time "round table" discussion with live persons, who are much more likely to be keenly aware of everyone's physical presence, compared to the anonymity of those online. Where being shy and/or far less trustworthy may prove to be intimidating, making them think twice about joining in online.

All compounded in the event one is on the spectrum of autism, and has good reason to be reticent to speak. A major explanation in the disparity between those regularly participating in this forum, and those who register, but are content to merely lurk.

Weird? -No. I take it more as a sign of being cautious. Especially if one has no clear sense of social chemistry with who may be saying what. Whether one may feel "above or below" them in various ways. It's actually quite understandable. Real socialization online might be convenient, but it isn't easier, IMO.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'm not good at conversations in this group. I often don't know what to say.

Pick something you like see where it fits sit back and wait and we will respond without malice or malicious intent.

 

[Aspychata]

Many of us have been here for years, but technically, we are all strangers as we only exist as virtual confident or support forum members. I pinched myself, it hurts, so l ruled out l am AI.