Is it obvious that you are aspergic

[Aspie@60]

I ask, because very recently, saw a video where a chap has turned his home, into a paradise for his cat and read that he was diagnosed with aspergers. To be honest, it was pretty obvious he was handicapped and that made me think: Ok, so if that is the case, then, I cannot have aspergers because I look normal.

Yes, it is worrying me, because, at last, I feel free (to a certain extent), less alien.

I do fear that I am a fraud, especially as I have decided to not get officially diagnosed, for I want those who know me, to take my word for it. My husband, at last said that he believes me and so, nth at is good enough for me, but if one is supposed to look handicapped, then, I have to think again.

In nearly all areas, I fit like a glove, but for looking normal

 

[shinyedge]

I am self-diagnosed, and also feel as if I could be a fraud. My wife doesn't believe I am on the spectrum, and I have brought it up to a few others who have also said they don't believe it. My sister is the only one who does believe me, and she might be on the spectrum also. I have had almost 60 years to learn to hide my Aspie characteristics, and no one I know now, other than my sister, knows how awkward and clueless I was socially when I was younger. I have been to many therapists over the years who have come up with other diagnoses--usually depression--but I think AS explains everything better than their ideas about depression, cold parents, lack of proper socialization when I was young, failure to go through the normal Freudian stages of development, avoidance of unpleasant situations, etc.

By the old definitions, I probably would not have all the characteristics for an AS diagnosis. More likely PDD-NOS. I base my self-diagnosis on my difficulty making friends and my lifelong tendency to become socially isolated in nearly every situation. The core concept that Aspies lack, or are slow to develop, a theory of mind also fits me to a tee.

But what does it matter whether I am right or not? It is not going to change anything. I have known all my life that I was different from others. I had always attributed it to my high intelligence, and being bored with others of lower intelligence. Now I realize that AS makes more sense than that explanation, too. So maybe it explains why my life has been the way it has. That idea is comforting, if I could only accept it completely. But with or without a definite diagnosis, the way I approach life will not change. I don't use AS as an excuse for present or future behavior, only as an explanation for my past. It might help justify my belief that I wouldn't do well in certain types of jobs requiring selling or persuading, but I have always believed that.

 

[Aspie@60]

Yep, been there, done all that. Main thing I have learned is your acquaintances, friends think you're quirky, but will actively avoid acceptance of diagnosis and what, how much it means to you. Relax and enjoy making all the connections with asperger's in your past. You're not a fraud. You're not using it as an excuse, but isn't it nice to have a reason?!

 

[Laili]

Yes, it is worrying me, because, at last, I feel free (to a certain extent), less alien.

I do fear that I am a fraud, especially as I have decided to not get officially diagnosed, for I want those who know me, to take my word for it. My husband, at last said that he believes me and so, nth at is good enough for me, but if one is supposed to look handicapped, then, I have to think again.

In nearly all areas, I fit like a glove, but for looking normal

I don't see this as normal. There is average. Normal is a societal lie that we are taught.

As for that person you saw, I don't see that as typical Asperger's. I mean the few people I know, family included, that have Asperger's Syndrome seem perfectly normal. My best friend does seem different but it is more social differences and not obvious unless you are familiar with the syndrome itself.

You sound as if you're worried that having the official diagnosis will be this label that will haunt you for the rest of your life! OMG! If I may be honest and a bit blunt, get over it! I apologize if that was harsh.

You sound as if you are actually afraid of stereotypes--they exist because there are people out there that are like that--but that does not mean that you have to be that way. Don't be a stereotype. Don't be a statistic. Be who you are. If others feel they must label you, that is their issue and not yours.

 

[Olivia]

Hi guys- how do I find my Aspie score?? Thanks in adv

 

[buckyboy14]

When seeing others with Asperger's, I feel that I'm lot more "normal." But I wonder if that's just my perspective, since I've lived like this my whole life and don't know any other way to be. I feel that I blend in at least somewhat with others, but it seems that others are able to sniff me out as different somehow. It perplexes me.

 

[Jakob Burto-Sundman]

For me it was always obvious. I was fascinated with things more than an NT would be. I also have a visual impermant but that never seemed odd to me. IT was how I was fascinated by symboles and the second hand moving on a watch or clock. So for me it was always obvious. Even when I didn't know what it was. Even though it's obvious though and my parents suspected I have it they won't acknowledge it. Which is kind of sad. I also have felt that it is what it is and it is not something to hit yourself in the head over.