If I Don't See Someone for a While...

[Fino]

People tell me "what is wrong with you" for twenty years then I come here and every one says "I know exactly what you mean, me too" It's like one of those movies where someone or something grows up around people or something or animals different from them then one day discovers some city or place or whatever inhabited entirely of people/animals/things like them. I can't think of a single example right now but I know for sure there are a lot of movies or shows like that. "Oh my gosh, people that look like me!"

I am so inarticulate right now! I grew to expect a response here, but this was twice as much and twice as useful as I had expected.

 

[Loren]

People tell me "what is wrong with you" for twenty years then I come here and every one says "I know exactly what you mean, me too" It's like one of those movies where someone or something grows up around people or something or animals different from them then one day discovers some city or place or whatever inhabited entirely of people/animals/things like them. I can't think of a single example right now but I know for sure there are a lot of movies or shows like that. "Oh my gosh, people that look like me!"

I am so inarticulate right now! I grew to expect a response here, but this was twice as much and twice as useful as I had expected.

I can, absolutely, relate to everything you have expressed! : ))

 

[Theta.G]

I empathize with you, as I can recall experiencing the same response, after trauma that involved being ostracized, among other things, but, I don't, normally, perceive the lack of time spent interacting, as mean or negative in any way. If you were to express to me, how you feel, it would be important to me to make you feel secure /safe/ happy, however, under normal circumstances, I, personally, don't need to have contact with a friend, in order to feel or perceive the friendship in the same way I had, at the time of our last encounter.

edit: I apologize, as I am realizing that I may have misinterpreted some of what you had expressed, and, in turn, my reply may have seemed or been out of context. I am hoping I didn't come off as insensitive. Will be pondering.

No worries
it's all good
Something like this can get ambigous and meanings cna get lost fairly easily since the types friendships people have others can be so diverse

 

[Monachopia]

People tell me "what is wrong with you" for twenty years then I come here and every one says "I know exactly what you mean, me too" It's like one of those movies where someone or something grows up around people or something or animals different from them then one day discovers some city or place or whatever inhabited entirely of people/animals/things like them. I can't think of a single example right now but I know for sure there are a lot of movies or shows like that. "Oh my gosh, people that look like me!"

This place is magic

 

[Loren]

No worries
it's all good
Something like this can get ambigous and meanings cna get lost fairly easily since the types friendships people have others can be so diverse

I concur! : ) Thank you!

 

[Fino]

I've spent an inordinate amount of time worrying that I'm a narcissist because of things like this! And an inordinate amount of time wondering if worrying about whether one is a narcissistic has any relation to whether or not one is a narcissist; meaning, do narcissists worry about being a narcissist, or does me worrying about it make it less likely I am one?

Anyway, now that I've said "narcissist" way too many times, I was just trying to say that this helped with that internal debate that should probably just stop now forever.

 

[Pats]

I've spent an inordinate amount of time worrying that I'm a narcissist because of things like this! And an inordinate amount of time wondering if worrying about whether one is a narcissistic has any relation to whether or not one is a narcissist; meaning, do narcissists worry about being a narcissist, or does me worrying about it make it less likely I am one?

Anyway, now that I've said "narcissist" way too many times, I was just trying to say that this helped with that internal debate that should probably just stop now forever.

I used to wonder about myself and narcissism too, because I feel self absorbed. But it's only because it's hard to get past subjects that don't involve yourself or your interest. Whereas narcissists do not care enough to be concerned. Rules don't apply to them. They put others down when that person may have done something impressive. They can only associate with people worthy of them. The list goes on and on. We're more apt to have an inferiority complex than the grandiose complex of the narcissist.

 

[BraidedPony]

I’m alexithymic and will know I feel “bad” but can’t tell if it’s sadness because my dog died, lonely, anxious, guilty...
I left my husband a few months ago and don’t miss him at all but I really miss my cat that stayed with him at the house. If he had been a nice person though I think I would miss him.
But if I missed him, would I know it? With alexithymia I may get a headache or stomachache instead of feeling an emotion.
At first it might seem that alexithymia would be wonderful because you wouldn’t have emotions, but it isn’t like that at all. I feel sort of bad to terrible most of the time but don’t have the words therefore no tools to deal with it or explain it to anyone.

 

[Fino]

I used to wonder about myself and narcissism too, because I feel self absorbed. But it's only because it's hard to get past subjects that don't involve yourself or your interest. Whereas narcissists do not care enough to be concerned. Rules don't apply to them. They put others down when that person may have done something impressive. They can only associate with people worthy of them. The list goes on and on. We're more apt to have an inferiority complex than the grandiose complex of the narcissist.

Well there goes one of my problems!

Just a couple billion more!

Thank you very much!

 

[Mr Allen]

I have friends from school who I've not seen for nigh on 30 years but I still remember them.

 

[Tom]

They are dissembled into raw materials once out of sight and then reassembled when called for.

 

[Peter Morrison]

If I don't see someone for a while, I always pick up where our lives diverted. I can miss people, but I think I miss doing things with them more than lamenting an extreme emotional void. I have a small group of people in my life who are "real" friends. Distance doesn't destroy the value of friendship. Anything true lasts.

 

[Fino]

They are dissembled into raw materials once out of sight and then reassembled when called for.

I may have read into it too deeply, but I find that strangely accurate.

 

[xDominiel]

The world in general can feel pretty unreal to me. Effects of prolonged isolation.
Sometimes it's like *I* barely exist, like I'm floating in a void while the days fly by.
And that's oddly comfy, not really a bad thing at all. But yeah, I know the feeling.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

yeah, that's pretty extreme. it's normal to render someone irrelevant to you when they're not in your life for a for a long time unless that person really had an impact on you when you were in contact with them and you left on good terms.

I wouldn't know how to relate to something like that honestly. there are people who I was around for a long time who had no impact on me or were negative but I wouldn't say they no longer exist or aren't real, just that there existence is of no value or relevance to me.

 

[Reu]

What you are talking about here hits home with me. I disconnect with people fairly quickly. I’m not sure I connect with people to begin with or maybe it just takes a really long time. My daughters went to my parents’ house out of state for two weeks this summer. My wife missed them a lot, but I didn’t miss them really. I tend not to miss people except for my wife. I think I miss people but I don’t realize it until I see them again after a long time.

When I graduated high school I pretty much disappeared out of my friends’ lives. The same thing happens if I switch workplaces. If I don’t have a connection through some regular activity then I don’t seem to connect really.