Hi Everyone! My name is Esse and I'm so happy to find this forum. I'd really like to know more about Asperger's and hear about experiences from Aspies and their loved ones. I believe it will help me a great deal. In advance, please forgive my ignorance on this subject because I still have a lot to learn.
I am NT and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We started out as friends first and became a couple a year later. I am currently 8 months pregnant with our first child...a boy. We're both very excited, my boyfriend especially. Well, a few months ago I happened to be randomly reading something about Autism and found some information about Asperger's. I had heard of Asperger's but knew nothing about it and did not know anyone who claimed to be. As I read more about Aspergers, I was IN SHOCK that most of the characteristics fit my boyfriend to a T. Suddenly his subtle little peculiarities made sense to me and it was like a big light came on. I almost felt crazy for not noticing or suspecting anything but really, who would? To most people, these characteristics would be described as "quirks", "eccentricities", or maybe even "character flaws", nothing that out of the ordinary. In any case, I am pretty much 100% sure my boyfriend has Aspergers.
Since this epiphany, I've debated on whether to tell him what I've discovered. Part of me feels that I really should share this with him, that suddenly everything will make sense for him too. Then there's the part of me that worries that this will contribute to his frequent negative feelings about himself. He can be so down on himself and on life, and knowing that he is Aspie can either take a weight off his shoulders or make him feel like he is permanently scarred for life. Or he may dismiss it altogether. He told me he was diagnosed as ADHD when he was a teen. He never took meds and didn't believe the diagnosis. I wish I knew how to approach him about this subject.
Our relationship is wonderful and loving most of the time and also sometimes rocky. I am his first serious and lasting relationship. All of his exes dumped him quickly, as he can be a bit "intense" at times. I am a strong female, a little older than him, and I don't take sh_t from anyone, including him. During rough times (aka his Aspie meltdowns), I make it clear that I will walk before I put up with any of his nonsense. These Aspie meltdowns are what I want to learn most about. They are baffling to me and I want to learn how best to deal with them and diffuse them quickly. Other than his occasional meltdowns, I love everything else about him. Even the things about him that sometimes drives me crazy.
I also hope to learn more about how Aspie men handle fatherhood. I understand there is a chance that my son may take after his father and in that case, I want to be prepared.
Thank you for taking time to read this. I look forward to learning and sharing on this forum!
I am NT and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We started out as friends first and became a couple a year later. I am currently 8 months pregnant with our first child...a boy. We're both very excited, my boyfriend especially. Well, a few months ago I happened to be randomly reading something about Autism and found some information about Asperger's. I had heard of Asperger's but knew nothing about it and did not know anyone who claimed to be. As I read more about Aspergers, I was IN SHOCK that most of the characteristics fit my boyfriend to a T. Suddenly his subtle little peculiarities made sense to me and it was like a big light came on. I almost felt crazy for not noticing or suspecting anything but really, who would? To most people, these characteristics would be described as "quirks", "eccentricities", or maybe even "character flaws", nothing that out of the ordinary. In any case, I am pretty much 100% sure my boyfriend has Aspergers.
Since this epiphany, I've debated on whether to tell him what I've discovered. Part of me feels that I really should share this with him, that suddenly everything will make sense for him too. Then there's the part of me that worries that this will contribute to his frequent negative feelings about himself. He can be so down on himself and on life, and knowing that he is Aspie can either take a weight off his shoulders or make him feel like he is permanently scarred for life. Or he may dismiss it altogether. He told me he was diagnosed as ADHD when he was a teen. He never took meds and didn't believe the diagnosis. I wish I knew how to approach him about this subject.
Our relationship is wonderful and loving most of the time and also sometimes rocky. I am his first serious and lasting relationship. All of his exes dumped him quickly, as he can be a bit "intense" at times. I am a strong female, a little older than him, and I don't take sh_t from anyone, including him. During rough times (aka his Aspie meltdowns), I make it clear that I will walk before I put up with any of his nonsense. These Aspie meltdowns are what I want to learn most about. They are baffling to me and I want to learn how best to deal with them and diffuse them quickly. Other than his occasional meltdowns, I love everything else about him. Even the things about him that sometimes drives me crazy.
I also hope to learn more about how Aspie men handle fatherhood. I understand there is a chance that my son may take after his father and in that case, I want to be prepared.
Thank you for taking time to read this. I look forward to learning and sharing on this forum!
