Hey, new here

[meff]

Hi! Call me meff, I'm 22 and starting to learn there's a good chance I might have Aspergers or PDD-NOS. (Though I guess now it's all just ASD) I live in Texas and am currently in school to learn whatever commercial art skills I can manage. I am an aromantic asexual and proud! Though I don't like bringing it up around people I don't know well when I'm actually around folks. I also suspect I might have ADHD (minus the H, which doesn't seem to be a thing anymore?)

Socializing isn't easy for me and in my memory never has been, and I feel like I'm missing some fundamental understandings that most people seem to easily adapt to as a part of their social development. Oddly enough I like chit-chat and small talk, but I think that's because it's simple, thoughtless, and relies heavily on scripts. I crave openness and honesty because communication is so muddled and confusing, but I've learned to lie for self-preservation purposes. I love organizing and arranging things, and formatting is my favorite part of any open-ended assignment. I'm sensitive to tastes and smells, which often make me gag or feel sick. I also have vestibular issues, like motion sickness and occasional bouts of vertigo. I love mimicking things, and quoting stuff, though I'm not very good at it.

Right now I especially love animals (birds, cats, and alpacas specifically), cartoons and animation, colors, psychology, voice acting, and social justice. I want to be a concept artist for animation one day and I love to draw, though it's no longer something I can spend hours doing, which sucks. My favorite shows are 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, Community, Steven Universe, and Wander Over Yonder. I like to play video games but only a few at a time and in spurts. Right now I'm into Pokemon Y and Animal Crossing.

I have a tendency to talk exhaustively about myself, so I should cut this short. I look forward to meeting y'all and continuing to learn about autism.

 

[Winter_Rose]

Hi! Call me meff, I'm 22 and starting to learn there's a good chance I might have Aspergers or PDD-NOS. (Though I guess now it's all just ASD) I live in Texas and am currently in school to learn whatever commercial art skills I can manage. I am an aromantic asexual and proud! Though I don't like bringing it up around people I don't know well when I'm actually around folks. I also suspect I might have ADHD (minus the H, which doesn't seem to be a thing anymore?)

Socializing isn't easy for me and in my memory never has been, and I feel like I'm missing some fundamental understandings that most people seem to easily adapt to as a part of their social development. Oddly enough I like chit-chat and small talk, but I think that's because it's simple, thoughtless, and relies heavily on scripts. I crave openness and honesty because communication is so muddled and confusing, but I've learned to lie for self-preservation purposes. I love organizing and arranging things, and formatting is my favorite part of any open-ended assignment. I'm sensitive to tastes and smells, which often make me gag or feel sick. I also have vestibular issues, like motion sickness and occasional bouts of vertigo. I love mimicking things, and quoting stuff, though I'm not very good at it.

Right now I especially love animals (birds, cats, and alpacas specifically), cartoons and animation, colors, psychology, voice acting, and social justice. I want to be a concept artist for animation one day and I love to draw, though it's no longer something I can spend hours doing, which sucks. My favorite shows are 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, Community, Steven Universe, and Wander Over Yonder. I like to play video games but only a few at a time and in spurts. Right now I'm into Pokemon Y and Animal Crossing.

I have a tendency to talk exhaustively about myself, so I should cut this short. I look forward to meeting y'all and continuing to learn about autism.

Welcome to AspiesCentral!

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome Meff, from an animation enthusiast (currently studying the subject)

 

[Tarragon]

Hi and welcome to AC

 

[wyverary]

From one proud aromantic asexual to another, welcome!

 

[GallacticGorilla]

So, a question to you meff & wyv- I could kind of understand being aromantic, I am kind of that, but I,dont get being asexual. Dont you have a libido? I mean sex isn't totally psychological , its biological and primal and has to do with hormones not just neurochemicals.

I am not judging AT ALL.At all at all at all..... I mean, whatever makes someone happy is fine by me. Im just curious, as it is not an uncommon ASD trait, and I just never understood it. Like, don't you have a biologically driven libido?

If that is too personal, no need to answer, just curious .

 

[rollerskate]

Can I ask here what aromantic is? Because I kind of suspect I may be the same. I don't know how to flirt and I suck at getting all mushy and stuff. Most of the time I just want to be like, friendly, close, and cuddle at night. Like I would a close buddy or family member...

And welcome to this forum. I'm new here too. Very friendly folks here.

 

[Alexis]

I like a lot of the same shows and stuff as you. i like social justice. and actually all those shows. i guess my obsession is tv in very specific stuff. kinda makes me mad bc i don't have interests that i can make a living off

 

[Alexis]

I like a lot of the same shows and stuff as you. i like social justice. and actually all those shows. i guess my obsession is tv in very specific stuff. kinda makes me mad bc i don't have interests that i can make a living off

also i'm new to this and all this i just found out im an aspie

 

[meff]

Thanks for the warm welcome, folks! It's awesome to already be meeting people with the same interests and experiences.

GallacticGorilla I totally don't mind, I love spreading awareness when I can! Libido and sexuality are not directly related even though they can be intertwined in a lot of people. Maybe a little TMI, but I personally have very little in the way of libido, though there are definitely aces who have very active libidos. Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction to any particular individuals, genders, or otherwise, regardless of what kind of contact our bodies might crave. (further, an asexual person may still seek out sex or sexual contact with someone to scratch the "itch" their libidos create, but they never really experience attraction to that person specifically. They just may trust that person or have some other reason for picking them.)
rollerskate aromanticism is a little complex because everyone defines romantic attraction differently (though you could say the same about sexual attraction). But aromantic is kind of like asexual, but romantic. i.e., A lack of romantic attraction towards anyone. If you've never met or seen someone and desired a romantic relationship with that person (however you view what romance is), then you may be aromantic.
Of course, both romantic and sexual attraction is a spectrum, so you may experience very little romantic and/or sexual attraction and call yourself grayromantic/gray asexual, or only experience said attraction to people you have already formed a close relationship with and identify as demiromantic/demisexual.
I hope that clears things up at least a little! I get a little long-winded when explaining, so I hope that's not too dense of a text brick.

 

[GallacticGorilla]

We like dense text bricks, my garage, is built out of them .

Yes Neff that made some sense, sorry for asking you such an intimate question right out of the gate, no foreplay or nothin. Thanks for explaining. That makes sense. Thats all i was wondering.

I will admit, its nice to have someone, but relationships are huge time suckers. if a person had no need for sex, they could free up a lotta time for accomplishing things. If everyone was asexual, we could have nuclear fusion by next year .

 

[meff]

Glad to clear things up! I hear that sentiment a lot, but I gotta point out that there are plenty of asexual people who have a need for (sometimes even sexual) relationships as well! Maybe it's romantic attraction that's taking up our mental resources.

 

[Turk]

Hi Meff and welcome,
Socializing in here is easy, as we are crafted in the same fashion. Youve already probably noticed a theme here, that is, complete honesty without judgement. Glad you found us.
Cheers Turk

 

[rollerskate]

Wow. I just realized I probably fit within those categories...

I feel that itch as you say but I don't really enjoy everything that goes into scratching it. I don't particularly feel sexually attracted to anyone, when I do it's short lived. Like, I appreciate the human form in an aesthetic sense but I never seem to get aroused by it. My attitude towards sex in general can be very let's just get it over with because this is boring. I may take an interest in things like role playing but I'm more interested in the creative expression or my scientific curiosity than anything else. I don't like romantic relationships and generally don't feel what I would call romantic love until I've known the person a long time and we click on other ways. And even when I do feel what I call romantic love, it's on a very practical level it seems compared to other people. In relationships I'm constantly hearing "I don't feel like you're attracted to me" "I don't feel like you're in love with me" and it's not like I'm not interested at all it's just more like I show it differently than what they're expecting me to do....

It's very frustrating and since my last relationship ended I've given up on dating all together. Too much work, too much drama, too much disappointment, etc. Just not worth it.

 

[Judge]

Wow. I just realized I probably fit within those categories...

I feel that itch as you say but I don't really enjoy everything that goes into scratching it. I don't particularly feel sexually attracted to anyone, when I do it's short lived. Like, I appreciate the human form in an aesthetic sense but I never seem to get aroused by it. My attitude towards sex in general can be very let's just get it over with because this is boring. I may take an interest in things like role playing but I'm more interested in the creative expression or my scientific curiosity than anything else. I don't like romantic relationships and generally don't feel what I would call romantic love until I've known the person a long time and we click on other ways. And even when I do feel what I call romantic love, it's on a very practical level it seems compared to other people. In relationships I'm constantly hearing "I don't feel like you're attracted to me" "I don't feel like you're in love with me" and it's not like I'm not interested at all it's just more like I show it differently than what they're expecting me to do....

It's very frustrating and since my last relationship ended I've given up on dating all together. Too much work, too much drama, too much disappointment, etc. Just not worth it.

Interesting subject. Is romance a predominantly Neurotypical type of socialization/ritual? Sex is mere mechanics with a brief learning curve. But romance...it's like another ritual to me that I never felt I mastered. I can be creative, but not in a social way.

Likely just another thing to add to my list of why I lost all my NT relationships with women. Yes rollerskate, I share your frustration.

 

[meff]

Hi Meff and welcome,
Socializing in here is easy, as we are crafted in the same fashion. Youve already probably noticed a theme here, that is, complete honesty without judgement. Glad you found us.
Cheers Turk

This is definitely one of the easiest forum experiences I've ever had, I generally get overwhelmed and anxious when trying to break into a message board and eventually leave. I definitely think it's the community, even Wrong Planet made me nervous for some reason.

Wow. I just realized I probably fit within those categories...

I feel that itch as you say but I don't really enjoy everything that goes into scratching it. I don't particularly feel sexually attracted to anyone, when I do it's short lived. Like, I appreciate the human form in an aesthetic sense but I never seem to get aroused by it. My attitude towards sex in general can be very let's just get it over with because this is boring. I may take an interest in things like role playing but I'm more interested in the creative expression or my scientific curiosity than anything else. I don't like romantic relationships and generally don't feel what I would call romantic love until I've known the person a long time and we click on other ways. And even when I do feel what I call romantic love, it's on a very practical level it seems compared to other people. In relationships I'm constantly hearing "I don't feel like you're attracted to me" "I don't feel like you're in love with me" and it's not like I'm not interested at all it's just more like I show it differently than what they're expecting me to do....

It's very frustrating and since my last relationship ended I've given up on dating all together. Too much work, too much drama, too much disappointment, etc. Just not worth it.

That sounds a lot like how a lot of aromantic asexuals describe their experiences. You should definitely look into those identities and possibly demiromantic, you might really connect with them. Of course, as with all identities, only you can decide whether or not you fit.

Interesting subject. Is romance a predominantly Neurotypical type of socialization/ritual? Sex is mere mechanics with a brief learning curve. But romance...it's like another ritual to me that I never felt I mastered. I can be creative, but not in a social way.

Likely just another thing to add to my list of why I lost all my NT relationships with women. Yes rollerskate, I share your frustration.

I definitely wouldn't be surprised if aromantic tendencies were common among aspies and autistic people, much like asexuality and trans/genderqueer experiences.
My personal definition of romantic interaction has always involved physical affection like kissing, hand holding, and other forms of touch that send me into a nervous fit. I also just consider the trappings of romance excessive and unnecessary. Those seem like attitudes pretty common to aspies and autistic folks now that I look at them in that light. Interesting observation, Judge.

 

[Judge]

Do people enjoy/expect romance because they like it, or is it a cultural ritual they are conditioned to accept?

 

[meff]

Do people enjoy/expect romance because they like it, or is it a cultural ritual they are conditioned to accept?

I'd say for the romantically inclined, it's very much an innate desire that brings them personal fulfillment. I've met many romantic folks who crave romantic relationships on a deep, personal level and when they are in a relationship it brings them a specific joy I could never fathom. And then I know some aromantics who look back on past relationships and realize they never quite had that and it was an experience they'd rather not have again. So it seems that there's definitely a personal, need-based element to romantic attraction for those who experience it.

 

[Ereth]

Hello, Meff, and welcome.

 

[Jordan]

Welcome to AspiesCentral!

I do hope you feel passionate about eating our world renown cookies!

Here, take a cookie! Refreshments available at the bar, and let me take your suitcase.

Hope you enjoy your stay. Everyone here is very welcoming.