I need help understanding shutdowns. I keep reading that shutdowns are a manifestations of anxiety. But I do not feel anxious at all when I have a shutdown. Maybe a bit just before. I feel tired and I feel that I would like to disappear and be by myself, but I don't feel anxiety.
I'm not sure if the issue is a) my body is anxious but I can't recognize the feeling, which in general applies to me or b) a shutdown is more literally the body just going into no-feel zone.
Thanks!
Good observations.
(1) You might not be interpreting your physical and emotional state as anxiety. If you are one of the many of us that have varying degrees of alexithymia, this may be why. However, if you checked your heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood pressure, your body might be saying something otherwise.
(2) Anxiety is not the only reason for a "shutdown" (internalizing state) or a "meltdown (externalizing state). Sometimes it is a manifestation of being overwhelmed by sensory or emotional stimuli. Sometimes it is a slow build-up over hours, days, or weeks usually described as mental exhaustion or "burnout", sometimes it happens rather quickly due to the intensity of the stimuli. Sometimes, it's conscious or subconscious fear that triggers these episodes.
(3) The internalizing state (shutdown) is a mechanism to protect the body and mind. It's a stress response. It can start as "avoidance behaviors" such as finding ways to avoid people and social situations, needing frequent time alone in a quiet room, needing more sleep, napping during the day, etc. It can then progress to rarely talking, quiet spoken voice, little eye contact, regression of cognitive skills, regression of fine motor skills, even mutism. There may be a desire to feel nothing and become "numb" simply as a way to escape. Some adults look to alcohol and drugs to help them achieve that state, and obviously, this can be a dangerous situation. Some adults find it just "too much" to deal with the workplace. Children can be found in that stereotypical pose of sitting in a corner, facing the wall, perhaps rocking, eyes closed, covering their ears, just trying their best to shut the world out. Adults are often more in control of their emotional states and are more likely to exhibit internalizing behaviors.
(4) The externalizing state (meltdown) is when the stimuli is to the point where your internal "pop off valve" has reached it's threshold and "the gates of Hell are opened" and people just "loose it". Everything that had been bottled up inside is now on full display, crying, screaming, etc. As an adult with more emotional control, meltdowns are less common, but with children, this can be a common phenomenon.
